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Old 2009-12-14, 00:21   Link #21161
Satashi
Vividly Vivio
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Matter of preference. Japan has that whole L and R interchangable thing, but I use Rio cuz I think it sounds better.

Also, if it was Lio then she'd be a cross dressing murderer who likes to eat things. (+rep for getting that reference).

Crap, ninja'd. Was gonna give Shiny only have a cookie but then she edited her post.
I like Rio better as well, Jimmy C made a good point

[EDIT] Page claim for Rio Wesley
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Old 2009-12-14, 00:26   Link #21162
TheShinySword
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Matter of preference. Japan has that whole L and R interchangable thing, but I use Rio cuz I think it sounds better.

Also, if it was Lio then she'd be a cross dressing murderer who likes to eat things. (+rep for getting that reference).

Crap, ninja'd. Was gonna give Shiny only half a cookie but then she edited her post.
I'll always take two cookies.

@AlexSilvara

Kaon's my OC, click on the link under the adorable Zaffy in my sig to find links to various shorts (there isn't much because I haven't put in all the short shorts she's in) and things with her in them (also her profile which is gonna be a little outdated soon so yeah...). Right now I'm working on a currently unnamed Belkan piece that will be starring Kaon and is shaping up to be quite long, so stay tuned if you get interested in her character at all.

If you don't want to go through all that and still want to know who she is then... She's a grumpy, and slightly narcoleptic, immortal who was created to be the perfect adviser to the Sankt Kaiser, unfortunately the Kaiser line kinda died out. So she chilled around for a couple hundred years and then became an Inspector for the TSAB. She sometimes tutors Vivio and co. And she drinks a lot of tea.
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Old 2009-12-14, 00:59   Link #21163
ObssesedNuker
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Join Date: Dec 2009
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Yo...

This place wouldn't happen to have a section for brand new people to introduce themselves, would it?

In anycase, you probably have not noticed my little story on FFN, which I feel could use some beta-reading (and advertising, to be honest ). First things first, I need to post the blurb...

Title: The Closing Stars
Genre: Sci-Fi, Action, Combat/War,
Couples: Nanoha/Fate, Subaru/Teana, Caro/Erio
Summary: An attempt to kill the Ace of Aces is the opening moves of a rising threat to the Bureau, a threat which is willing to drown all who oppose it in a sea of its own blood if it means victory.
Rating: T (may possibly go up to M later)
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5529933/1/The_Closing_Stars

Now, hopefully you'll be able to get by all the grammar errors and typo's (particularly in the early chapters) to chapter 4.

'Cause I have decided to post a little preview of chapter 5 here. It covers a little side-scene and a good portion of a fight scene.
Enjoy and please give any feedback...

Spoiler for Preview of chapter 5:
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Old 2009-12-14, 02:55   Link #21164
Ottocycle
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Also, if it was Lio then she'd be a cross dressing murderer who likes to eat things. (+rep for getting that reference).
I will be scared to read any Vivid fic that involves Shirazumi Lio. He makes Vivid with all of its loli fanservice look like a children's picture book.

Rep claim!
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Old 2009-12-14, 05:40   Link #21165
Keroko
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
... What are they feeding 11-year-olds to give them B-cups?
Well, that image and estimate was before the rebuilt, so the chest size is off. But that aside I had an 11 year old classmate with a b-cup chest. Tall too. Just one of those rare few who got the hormone kick way to early.

It looked really awkward thinking back on it, luckily for her her body balanced out later on.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
Technically Keroko has her at like 11 years old I think doesn't he? Vivid age and all.
Yeah, 11. Just a teeny bit older than Vivio, Rio and Corona, who are about 10 I believe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
Would anyone be interested in a Chrono/Amy lemon? If not so much interest, I may just smooth over those parts, and it may only be a bit lime.
Yes please! In fact, any ChronoXAmy would be loved. For one of the very few canon pairings in the series, they get way to little love.
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Old 2009-12-14, 09:07   Link #21166
OZ7UP
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tabasco View Post
Never a dull moment in this thread...

Moving on, I've been toying with something. I like military SF, and I agree that Hayate gets far too little appreciation, so say nothing of fics. So I'm thinking of a few shorts set either post-Strikers or just prior to Force involving some small unit actions, like mopping up the support base Jail had to have amassed to pull off his plan, or possibly raiding other operations like his or what apparently Lily is a product of.

I think it would be a chance to show Hayate and the Wolkies in more of the role that StrikerS meant to show them in, before the main plot kind of shoved it all aside. My worry is that I'm picking two fundamentally incompatible genres to try and merge, and am going to end up folding, spindling, or mutilating one of them to make the story work.

Any thoughts on this?
Go for it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
And I'm still not feeling confident enough to do it, but you didn't hear it from me!
Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Please forgive me for being nervous about writing something I myself have no experience in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Funny thing is, before he left for his break I was actually discussing those kinds of possibilities with Dezo. The conversation was rather long, but I think I've figured out a way to do it without having to go into too much detail about what they're doing.
Can't exactly say much, given that I don't have any experience whatsoever as well, but I suppose that as long as you know the mechanics, you could try to go for a humorous non-descriptive take. Just re-posting a paragraph from a book that I posted a few pages back.

Spoiler for NSFW, taken from "A Year In The Merde" by Stephen Clarke:


For those who have not read the book yet, let's just say that the daughter of the main character's boss was showing him the perks of moving in with her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AlexSilvara View Post
Right, I've been lurking for the last 80 pages or so, I'll post since I'm thinking about it. I need something to read and I went though most of the recent stuff on FFN's Nanoha section, and I'm having a bit of a hard time slogging through the list on the first page of this. The stories I can remember having read are Crisis, DezoPenguin's Vivio, and the Deva series. That's most of the big stuff I found on FFN, I dunno where else I'd look. I want to find the stuff with the OCs that get mentioned so often in here...

Suggestions?

Oh, and sometime when it's not finals, I'm considering working on a Nanoha fic... one thing at a time though. Looks like there's a pretty high bar set.
Welcome aboard. I just read the one-shot that you posted, and it's pretty good.
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Old 2009-12-14, 10:12   Link #21167
spawnofthejudge
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Fast thread is fast.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty View Post
Ahaha. Alas, there is no cult of Tempy, but I am a part of the Church of the Shiny Sword. Your faith would be welcome there.
There is a denomination of the Church of the Shiny Sword that considers Tempest our Patron Saint...



Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
What? I just typed it down while waiting for my wassail to boil.
Wassail! Mmmm...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alavon View Post
Prostitute? o_0

Maybe I should have waited until later to eat...
Alright, did you or did you not spittake?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
Nanoha: *sniff, sniff* What's this in the air? I-It couldn't be... UNRESOLVED SEXUAL TENSION! *Shoots up, crashing through the roof, searching for a forum trying to pair off her daughter*
I wonder how she'd react to finding discussion about her own?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Knight Gafgar View Post
Mirror Hayate.
Your verse is quite depressing. Are you building to a fic? A set of shorts? Even a scene? The personality-less ... -ness of the reports are making the world seem even more depressing than it actually is, and that's saying something.

Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
ANGEL Chapter 8: Albatross Necklaces
HaRim is cute Especially with the IT'S NOT A DATE denial.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Carim....Hayate...

Hayate.... Ha
Carim.... Rim...

couple name....
HARIM!? It all makes so much sense now! I must warn the others!

Hayate: Sa~ta~shi~
Sata: No! Stay Away! I have to tell Beamers who her real enemy is! *runs!*
You'd think they'd be our allies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
Carim is a General in Hayate's Lesbian Army.
I'd figure Carim was the second-in-command.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
I...

I have a real enemy?
*denial*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rising Dragon View Post
Yeah, its Spinster!Vivio.

*shot*
Is it too soon to start writing fics about Vivio in her old age and missing the cast?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
Yeah but Cia's a canon character .

Syn: ...ouch.

Kaon: You wound me. *sips tea*

Falling Soul: [I just feel so much love coming from you]

Noland: ... if that is how you truly feel.

N-No I still love you guys DX
My OCs aren't visible in this thread yet, or they'd probably have dressed me down for less.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AlexSilvara View Post
Right, I've been lurking for the last 80 pages or so, I'll post since I'm thinking about it. I need something to read and I went though most of the recent stuff on FFN's Nanoha section, and I'm having a bit of a hard time slogging through the list on the first page of this. The stories I can remember having read are Crisis, DezoPenguin's Vivio, and the Deva series. That's most of the big stuff I found on FFN, I dunno where else I'd look. I want to find the stuff with the OCs that get mentioned so often in here...

Suggestions?

Oh, and sometime when it's not finals, I'm considering working on a Nanoha fic... one thing at a time though. Looks like there's a pretty high bar set.
Welcome! Did you need anything answered Satashi hasn't already handled?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
Dezo
QFT.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ObssesedNuker View Post
This place wouldn't happen to have a section for brand new people to introduce themselves, would it?
Just start posting. Welcome!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keroko View Post
Yes please! In fact, any ChronoXAmy would be loved. For one of the very few canon pairings in the series, they get way to little love.
I should write another scene with them. Amy is my favorite underappreciated character.
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Old 2009-12-14, 11:14   Link #21168
Nanya01
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Just because I can...

Threat is now up on FF.Net for everyone to enjoy.
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Old 2009-12-14, 11:22   Link #21169
Nanya01
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
It's been a while, but finally here's an update!

How Alicia died, what happened in the Jewel Seed fight after Fate left and the story of the First Black Angel...

ANGEL
Is second-best really good enough?

Spoiler for Angel, Chapter 8: Albatross Necklaces:

Spoiler for Author's Note:



Previous Parts:

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7

Next chapter: Chips
Now that I read this...

VERY, VERY nice. *Claps* Alicia might be alive? Hmm... Or is she alive in Fate? Only the author knows.
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Old 2009-12-14, 11:37   Link #21170
Tabasco
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Thanks to everyone who gave opinions, looks like I have a fic to write.

I'd been behind on Angel, so that was nice to catch up on, and Alex's short was a nice little look into Nanoha's head. She does seem to like competition rather than outright combat.

And add my vote in favor of the Amy/Chrono fic. Not much of a lemon fan in all honesty, but for a couple that gets so little attention I'd make an exception.
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Old 2009-12-14, 13:53   Link #21171
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OZ7UP View Post
Can't exactly say much, given that I don't have any experience whatsoever as well, but I suppose that as long as you know the mechanics, you could try to go for a humorous non-descriptive take. Just re-posting a paragraph from a book that I posted a few pages back.

Spoiler for NSFW, taken from "A Year In The Merde" by Stephen Clarke:


For those who have not read the book yet, let's just say that the daughter of the main character's boss was showing him the perks of moving in with her.
For all the teasing I bring on myself for it (), I'm really not all that worried about the lemon scene or how descriptive to make it. I've more or less figured out how to write it without pushing the limits of my comfort zone.
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Old 2009-12-14, 15:06   Link #21172
deathcurse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Crossover story! 8D

I kid, I kid.

Very nice. I have to say this is my favorite chapter so far. The Carim/Hayate scene is very well done, and I like the little mood whiplash at the end and how Carim doesn't even realize what she's doing. The background on the first Black Angel is much appreciated and clears up a lot of things, and nice changes to the Reinforce section; still manages to send a chill down my spine when I read it.

Update soon!


What is it with me and enjoying a bit too much writing these psychotic characters?

Quote:
Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge View Post
HaRim is cute Especially with the IT'S NOT A DATE denial.
I thought of it as more she didn't realize that what Hayate saw it as, but your comment got me thinking...maybe she did and only once Hayate said so Carim ended up panicking? Hmmmm....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
Now that I read this...

VERY, VERY nice. *Claps* Alicia might be alive? Hmm... Or is she alive in Fate? Only the author knows.
*whistles innocently* Only the author knows! ^^ (And RB, because she's awesome with helping me work out the plot holes )

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
For all the teasing I bring on myself for it (), I'm really not all that worried about the lemon scene or how descriptive to make it. I've more or less figured out how to write it without pushing the limits of my comfort zone.
After all this build-up, wouldn't the pressure be on for you for the final resolution?
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Old 2009-12-14, 15:16   Link #21173
spawnofthejudge
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Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
I thought of it as more she didn't realize that what Hayate saw it as, but your comment got me thinking...maybe she did and only once Hayate said so Carim ended up panicking? Hmmmm....
Either works; the flusteredness of her reaction is the same regardless.
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Old 2009-12-14, 15:29   Link #21174
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
(And RB, because she's awesome with helping me work out the plot holes )


Quote:
After all this build-up, wouldn't the pressure be on for you for the final resolution?
I said I have it figured out and I'm not worrying about it. Don't shatter my illusion of knowing what I'm going to do next, you.
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Old 2009-12-14, 16:43   Link #21175
00-Raiser
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Once again, I really, really, hate to do this, and I know you're all sick of me already and this is probably only going to annoy your further, but the not knowing is driving me crazy and getting in the way of other things I really need to get done.

Can I just get, at the very least, a thumbs up or a thumbs down on the 8 fics I posted on the bottom of page 1054 and the top of page 1055? I tried really really hard to fix the problems you all pointed out and use the ideas you suggested, having conflicts and things not turning out so well, etc. Did I fail to fix these problems but you're tired of repeating yourselves and that's why you're keeping quiet? Or is it the whole "we didn't say anything so that means they're fine" deal? "I'm sick of this guy so I'm not even going to bother reading his stuff" is another possibility, as is "he posted a lot, so I'll read them later."

I really did try my best, so even if you still thought they were bad, I could accept that and move on. All I want is some closure and after that I won't bring up this subject again.

Please, thank you, and sorry to keep bothering you all.
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Old 2009-12-14, 18:22   Link #21176
Outlaender
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Hey, I'd give a thumbs up. I'm not particularly a "ViNo" shipper, but I thought the series of shorts you did managed to present the ups and downs in their relationship quite well. The last story, when Yuuno and Vivio had to face "reality" and put their love on hold made for a nice bittersweet finale, I thought.
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Old 2009-12-14, 18:23   Link #21177
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Once again, I really, really, hate to do this, and I know you're all sick of me already and this is probably only going to annoy your further, but the not knowing is driving me crazy and getting in the way of other things I really need to get done.

Can I just get, at the very least, a thumbs up or a thumbs down on the 8 fics I posted on the bottom of page 1054 and the top of page 1055? I tried really really hard to fix the problems you all pointed out and use the ideas you suggested, having conflicts and things not turning out so well, etc. Did I fail to fix these problems but you're tired of repeating yourselves and that's why you're keeping quiet? Or is it the whole "we didn't say anything so that means they're fine" deal? "I'm sick of this guy so I'm not even going to bother reading his stuff" is another possibility, as is "he posted a lot, so I'll read them later."

I really did try my best, so even if you still thought they were bad, I could accept that and move on. All I want is some closure and after that I won't bring up this subject again.

Please, thank you, and sorry to keep bothering you all.
....

Already commented on this further back in the thread, so I won't bother with it again. Sorry, Rasier. You completely wore me out. I don't have anything else to say about your series.
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Old 2009-12-14, 18:45   Link #21178
00-Raiser
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Outlaender View Post
Hey, I'd give a thumbs up. I'm not particularly a "ViNo" shipper, but I thought the series of shorts you did managed to present the ups and downs in their relationship quite well. The last story, when Yuuno and Vivio had to face "reality" and put their love on hold made for a nice bittersweet finale, I thought.
Thank you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Already commented on this further back in the thread, so I won't bother with it again. Sorry, Rasier. You completely wore me out. I don't have anything else to say about your series.
Well, I know you were getting tired of me saying I was unable to follow your suggestions, but then I was able to use them, resulting in the 8 fics I posted. The rest of the family weren't as accepting of the idea, for example, so I just want to know if I did it right this time or not.

But it's fine, I understand where you're coming from. I only have myself to blame for that.
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Old 2009-12-14, 20:06   Link #21179
RadiantBeam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Well, I know you were getting tired of me saying I was unable to follow your suggestions, but then I was able to use them, resulting in the 8 fics I posted. The rest of the family weren't as accepting of the idea, for example, so I just want to know if I did it right this time or not.

But it's fine, I understand where you're coming from. I only have myself to blame for that.
Sorry, but right now I have to admit that if I tried commenting on anything you wrote for your Vivio/Yuuno series right now, I'd probably end up chewing you out and saying something I regret... which I really, really don't want to do. I'm still sorry I can't give an opinion on it, but I don't want to cause anymore drama in the thread.
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Old 2009-12-14, 20:15   Link #21180
00-Raiser
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No, it's ok. I'm not beyond recognising when something is my fault. I think it's probably best for me to disappear for awhile and give you guys a break from me. At least until finals are over.

Thank you all for putting up with this mess for so long.
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