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Old 2010-05-10, 10:25   Link #24801
Kaijo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
I was keeping in mind all the tricks you could have pulled while reading it, but I see you played it straight for the most part.

Spoiler for spoilers:


Overall, this fic was quite the ride. Kaijo, you took risks and went places few dare to go, not pulling your punches when needed for proper effect and creating a real rollercoaster of drama and emotion. Excellent job my friend, you deserve a standing ovation.
I did a lot of thinking of how this should go, and in the end, went in a way that I didn't think I'd ever do, heh. But there were various reasons for this, most of whcih we talked a bit about it on AIM, so I won't say too much more. I mainly just wanted to go to areas I didn't see many Nanoha fics going to.

Oh, and thanks for pointing out my errors again; I'll have them fixed by the time I put it up on ff.net later today.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
I remember you mentioning at one point that you were considering killing off Yuuno very early on in the story process. Interesting to see you decided to go through with it.
It kinda surprised me, too. I was leaning back and forth for awhile. But given how realistic I wanted to make the story, and the emotional level I was dealing with, it sorta felt like that's the direction I should take it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanya01 View Post
I should be in bed. But I just checked to see if anything was good around here and this was here.

Wow, kinda surprised you killed him. Makes me sad that that happened, but considering the abuse he took in the story, I guess it was only to be expected in the end, huh?

Still, not going to complain about the ending, it was bitter-sweet and was well-done. Good job.
Thanks for the comments.^^ I felt like doing something a bit different for me, in my ongoing attempts to poke into different areas; seeing how well I could invoke emotions in the reader. And as I said, this is surprising to me, since I generally don't go for tearjerkers myself.
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Old 2010-05-10, 11:36   Link #24802
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
RB and I are working on a new Log, but I've been side-tracked by Crime Never Sleeps, so pardon the delay!
And I've been side-tracked by finals and personal issues, so sorry for slowing down how often we post.
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Old 2010-05-10, 15:07   Link #24803
deathcurse
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Thanks to Dezo's help, I've worked out some new details for Crime Never Sleeps as well as cleaned up my old plotlines . So to make sure that my new sections don't come out of the left field, I'm reposting the earlier Parts with new material so that the final plot is clear!

Crime Never Sleeps
Revised Part 1-4 A

Spoiler for Crime Never Sleeps, Revised Part 1-4A:

Spoiler for Author's Note:

Last edited by deathcurse; 2010-06-13 at 22:53.
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Old 2010-05-10, 15:19   Link #24804
deathcurse
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Ack, and this part got cut out of the first post ....

Crime Never Sleeps
Revised Part 4 B

Spoiler for Crime Never Sleeps, Revised Part 4B:

After this, will be Day 1 of the trial scenes which I'm having trouble writing....

Last edited by deathcurse; 2010-06-13 at 22:53.
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Old 2010-05-10, 15:41   Link #24805
Kaijo
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Just posted Unexpected Expectations, Chapter 12, up on ff.net, whcih you can find here. Curious to see what kind of responses I get from the NanoFate crowd for what I did, heh.
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Old 2010-05-10, 17:45   Link #24806
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
I mainly just wanted to go to areas I didn't see many Nanoha fics going to.
Then you shouldn't have had that random NanoFate implication at the end



Well I'm a bit saddened that you didn't end up doing what we talked about. I guess you didn't get the kind of comments that would warrent that, but oh well *shrug* Like I said, I'm just one reader after all. Though that issue about Yuuno not getting any sort of resolution still stands, but Lord knows that happens in RL all the time.

Anyways, reviewed and I'm sure that those of the NanoFate crowd will be very pleased... Actually, probably not. Having Yuuno as a central character is enough to drive those zealots away from reading it in the first place, so I doubt we'll get any parties in the street
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Old 2010-05-10, 18:15   Link #24807
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The secret project is still under consideration. ;p
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Old 2010-05-10, 18:16   Link #24808
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 00-Raiser View Post
Then you shouldn't have had that random NanoFate implication at the end
Honestly, I think Kaijo could have ended the fic even without that random implication at the end and the fans would have still interpreted it that way. After all, since Yuuno is dead, Fate can love Nanoha good heal Nanoha's broken heart!
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Old 2010-05-10, 18:31   Link #24809
00-Raiser
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
The secret project is still under consideration. ;p
Ooo, a super secret special awesome project?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Honestly, I think Kaijo could have ended the fic even without that random implication at the end and the fans would have still interpreted it that way. After all, since Yuuno is dead, Fate can love Nanoha good heal Nanoha's broken heart!
Aye, but it doesn't help to encourage them! I know Kaijo is smart enough to know how people will react to such a line.

Anyways, it's no big deal, really. If he took it any further than that though I would take serious issue since there was absolutely no indication towards that end in the rest of the fic. Suddenly shoe horning it into the end would be a bad move. Plus, I think using the pairing everyone else always uses would detract from the uniqueness of the fic.

But again, no big deal. That's why I didn't mention it in my actual FF.net review.

Speaking of NanoFate, I was saying before I wanted to write one but didn't have any ideas. Well Satashi needed ideas for a new fic and I pitched her one, but she didn't end up using it so I'll be using it instead. It not NanoFate per say, but it does have NanoFate in it.

Well I actually pilfered the idea from the Witchblade anime (which is a must see btw. Features a mother-daughter dynamic as the main focus which totally blows anything in Nanoha out of the water)

What it is basically is that some one claiming to be Vivio's rightful mother (some one had to name her Vivio and teach her the word 'mama' after all) appears, resulting in Nanoha and Fate losing custody. The fic will follow how they deal with this change.
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Old 2010-05-10, 18:33   Link #24810
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Fate can love Nanoha good heal Nanoha's broken heart!
I am sorry but I have to ask this...
*ahem*

WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE WITH OUR MISTRESS?!

Edit: You know this is the longest I have seen you with the same avatar...which only further increases my suspicions XD
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Last edited by Thunderbird; 2010-05-10 at 20:30.
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Old 2010-05-10, 20:13   Link #24811
isagrimorie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moczo View Post
Turns out I'm in a clownier mood than I thought. It's a little short, but it's longer than the 'nothing' I was expecting to write. I'll put it on ff.net some time today, but right now I'm just too lazy to go over there and log in. I mean, that's like... twenty keys I'd have to press.

Spoiler for Center Ring, Part 4:


Spoiler for Author's Notes:


EDIT: All right, she's up on FF.net at http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5883307/4/Center_Ring

Enjoy!
Agito is a hoot! And, I think she's become a favorite in this story and I see what you did there re: Nanoha/Fate... heh!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
Unexpected Expectations


Chapter 12: Acceptance


Previous chapters can be found here.

Spoiler for Unexpected Expectations, Chapter 12: Acceptance:
Wow. That was a surprise! I didn't expect Yuuno dying at all, not with everything and I felt like he had something more to learn but it was a very brave choice! It's not a bad surprise. Just a surprise!

Thank you for writing this story.

Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Ack, and this part got cut out of the first post ....

Crime Never Sleeps
Revised: rest of Part 4

Spoiler for Crime Never Sleeps, Revised: rest of Part 4:

After this, will be Day 1 of the trial scenes which I'm having trouble writing....

Yay! I can catch-up... but was this part revised I don't think I remember this during the first run.

----------------
Now playing: Run Dan Run -- Points of Departure
via FoxyTunes
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Old 2010-05-10, 21:36   Link #24812
deathcurse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by isagrimorie View Post
Yay! I can catch-up... but was this part revised I don't think I remember this during the first run.
Yeah, you're right --that first bit is an entirely new scene. Since I was going to go into detail at the trial, I felt like I should throw in some more moral dilemmas for Hayate regarding her friends .
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Old 2010-05-10, 23:06   Link #24813
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thunderbird View Post
I am sorry but I have to ask this...
*ahem*

WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE WITH OUR MISTRESS?!
What? I'm not allowed to make NanoFate jokes when the mood strikes me?

Quote:
Edit: You know this is the longest I have seen you with the same avatar...which only further increases my suspicions XD
Actually, this is a new one, I only started using it last night.
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Old 2010-05-10, 23:25   Link #24814
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Originally Posted by RadiantBeam View Post
Actually, this is a new one, I only started using it last night.
That's still too long. *points an accusing finger* WHO ARE YOU?!!! D:<
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Old 2010-05-11, 00:10   Link #24815
deathcurse
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Something that came to me when I was musing over a different idea . A little bit sad, you've been warned!

Erio's mad at Vivio, but she might understand better than he thinks...

Spoiler for Half Blood, Half Water:

Spoiler for Author's Note:
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Old 2010-05-11, 07:04   Link #24816
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Something that came to me when I was musing over a different idea . A little bit sad, you've been warned!

Erio's mad at Vivio, but she might understand better than he thinks...

Spoiler for Half Blood, Half Water:

Spoiler for Author's Note:
I read this but don't really have much to say Well done as always, DC.
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Old 2010-05-11, 09:24   Link #24817
Nanya01
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Something that came to me when I was musing over a different idea . A little bit sad, you've been warned!

Erio's mad at Vivio, but she might understand better than he thinks...

Spoiler for Half Blood, Half Water:

Spoiler for Author's Note:
Um... Wow, that was... Wow...

...

I liked it. Poor kids, jealous of the love of the mother that they both share.
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Old 2010-05-11, 09:50   Link #24818
isagrimorie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Something that came to me when I was musing over a different idea . A little bit sad, you've been warned!

Erio's mad at Vivio, but she might understand better than he thinks...

Spoiler for Half Blood, Half Water:

Spoiler for Author's Note:
I'm a sucker for any story that explores the dynamic between Erio, Caro and Vivio (and by extension Nanoha) so this was a fun read for me! Although, I was a little confused But I enjoyed it! Since, well, like I said I'm a sucker for this sort of story!
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Old 2010-05-11, 09:55   Link #24819
Moczo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deathcurse View Post
Something that came to me when I was musing over a different idea . A little bit sad, you've been warned!

Erio's mad at Vivio, but she might understand better than he thinks...

Spoiler for Half Blood, Half Water:

Spoiler for Author's Note:
Poor kids... wonderfully written, but now I'm all depressed for them...

I really need to stop reading fanfiction at work. It's going to make the rest of the day a total drag.
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Old 2010-05-11, 10:28   Link #24820
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I think I should be brained over the head for being a self-delusional prophet of "crack pairing... or crackiest pairing?"

The muse hit me about doing a Yuuforce fic on Ferretboi freeing Eins and defeating the corrupted defence programme for good, but when I tried to coax her into elaborating, the only bit I could get out was this crappy near-end snippet.

Spoiler for Needs a title:


Goodness, the suck. The suck.
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