Juliet
Ding-dong!
....
Ding-dong!
....Goway.
Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
Nooooooo I need my sleep I lead a very stressful life now go away.
Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
Eeeeeh, why now? No, go away. What time is it, anyway?
Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
Eleven already....?
Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
Aaaaaaaah shut up! Stupid doorbell! No one's come to visit me all the time I've been living here, yet now, when I've stayed up all night and just want to sleep through the morning, now you bother me?
Okay. Calm down. I've got to remember my breathing exercises. Put on a polite expression. Yeah, that's the way!
My face in the mirror smiles back at me. ....I look like a freak.
The doorbell continues to ring, and ring, and ring, and ring.... there's only one person I know who would ring a doorbell that much, and that person is.... Suzumiya-san.
Oh no. Did he find out my apartment number? Has he come with some new horror?
I should get out through the fire escape and run far, far away. But wait, no, he probably accounted for that and has trained attack dogs guarding the bottom.
Uh, uh, what should I do? What should I do? What would Suzumiya-san do if he was about to be attacked by Suzumiya-san? Wait, that doesn't make any sense.
Still, an image of Suzumiya-san pops into my head. He gives me the thumbs-up and says, “Damn, I'm sexy.”
Uwah. That's terrible advice, Suzumiya-san.
...I'm still half asleep. Maybe the best course of action would be to just answer the door, yeah.
I stumble out of my room, tripping over my overlarge pajama bottoms, courtesy of the Koizumi-chan Relief Fund. I bet she chose ones that didn't fit me on purpose.
Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
“Fine, fine, I'm coming.”
I brace for impact as I open the door, but instead of Suzumiya-san wearing nothing but a thong, like I expected, I find... Koizumi-chan and Kyon-chan!?
“Oh good, you finally answered. I thought you might have died,” says Koizumi-chan. She's wearing a bigger smile than usual today. One glance at it fortells my doom.
“Uh. Hi, uh, Kyon-chan, Koizumi-chan.” Maybe the fire escape would have been a good idea after all.
“Morning, Senpai.” Okay, that's good, at least Kyon-chan's greeting is nice and cheerful wait that's not good at all. She's smiling. Kyon-chan never smiles.
“So, yeah, uh, uh, what can I do for--- oof!”
Shoving me aside, Koizumi-chan barges into my apartment. “Hmm, a very nice place you have here. Very neat and, ah, tidy.” She runs her index finger across my corner cabinet. “No dust, either. How diligent for a bachelor. I bet you cook your own food, too, don't you, Asahina-kun?”
She only ever uses “-kun” when I'm about to suffer. “Well, yeah, it's bad to just eat out all the time, so....”
“Stop teasing him, Itsuko.” Kyon-chan follows her friend across the threshold, dropping a large red duffel bag in the hall. “It's not like you won't have the opportunity to do that later.”
“Very well, big sis.” Koizumi-chan's grin doesn't go away. A premonition of death assaults me once again. Uwah. I should get out of here as fast as possible.
Wait, hold on a sec. Isn't this an interesting situation? Two pretty girls just showed up in my apartment. There's no one else around.... shouldn't I, uh, try to take advantage of this situation? ...Is what I would be thinking if it were anyone else. Maybe if it were just Kyon-chan, or, for example, that pretty girl with long hair I met the other day, but never if it involves Koizumi-chan. Absolutely not!
Yeah, I'll just make some excuse and head out the window. That's the best solution. Wait, no no no, that isn't good at all, I have to sleep somewhere and if Koizumi-chan really wants to make me suffer she'll just wait here until nightfall. No, I can't run away! I've got to get rid of her somehow.
But, uh, I don't mind if Kyon-chan is here, but if Koizumi-chan leaves, Kyon-chan will go too! Aaaaah, what should I do in this situation? Do you know, Suzumiya-san?
The image of Suzumiya-san appears again, giving me another thumbs-up. “You should go straight for the tits,” he says.
Uwah. Why do you always give me terrible advice, Suzumiya-san?
I'll just brew some tea, yeah. Tea is what I'll brew.
The two girls are now exploring my tiny living room. I turn to the kitchen and mutter something about refreshments, but I suddenly feel. A pair of arms. Snaking around my middle.
“Gaaaah!”
“What's wrong, Asahina-kun? Don't you like the feel of a woman's body?”
Soft. Softness. Koizumi-san's breasts. Her breasts. They're pushing up against me. She's hugging me from behind. Why? Why is she hugging me from behind? Why do her breasts feel so good? Aaaaagh why am I asking so many questions I should be figuring out a way to get out of this oh god so soft.
“Good on you, kid,” says the Suzumiya-san in my imagination. Not now, Imaginary Suzumiya-san. I'm trying to figure out whether I should try to get away or not.
“Itsuko, you really don't have to go that far.” Kyon-chan, at least, tries to defend me. At least, I think that's defending.
“Oh, come on, big sis. You can't tell me you don't want to hug him too. Here, you can have a turn next.”
....I'm up for that no, no no, I have to get away from here, they're planning something evil, I can feel it, but, still, breasts!
Uwaaaaah! I'm paralyzed with indecision!
[INDECISION POINT HERE]
1)Breasts
2)Not breasts
“No, I think I'll pass on that offer. ...Might as well start, though.”
“You're perfectly correct.” I can feel Koizumi-chan's breath on the back of my neck. “Well then, here we go!”
Her hands slither down, and... start to pull off my shirt!?
“Aaaaaaaaah!” I wrench myself free of her grasp. Breasts aren't worth this! I know this feeling! This is the feeling.... of being forced into some horrible fetish costume!
“He's going to get away,” Kyon-chan pointed out.
“No matter. Say, could you get the pants?”
“What? No, I'm not taking off his pants. You take off his pants.”
“But big sis, I was already taking off his shirt. Besides, I love staring into his terrified little eyes. <3”
The world inverts.
Um. Uh. I don't understand what's going on, but... I have to get out of here, right now...!
Kyon-chan is between myself and the front door. So the only way out is... Through the fire escape!
I can make it there within ten seconds. It will only take me ten seconds to make it there. It will take ten seconds, that is, one-sixth of a minute, to dash towards that window with all my might. In just ten seconds...!
Everything slows down as I take my first step.
One!
I focus all my power into my left leg and leapt forward with my second step!
Two!
Koizumi-chan kicks my feet out from under me!
Crash!
Uwaaaaaah! That was a total failure! Complete failure. Utter failure....
“Really, Asahina-kun,” Koizumi-chan said, hauling me up off the ground. “You're going to have to be much quicker than that if you want to get away.” She puts her arm around my neck in what probably looks like a tight embrace, but is actually a very painful headlock.
“Ow, ow. Please let me go, Koizumi-chan.”
“Never. Pass the handcuffs, would you, dear sister?”
Eeeeeeeh!?
“We won't need them if you stop struggling, of course.”
“What's going on!?”
“Oh, Asahina-kun. I'm afraid you'll just have to wait and see.” Koizumi-chan giggles to hide the menacing smirk creeping across her face. She looks exactly like how a predator would look right before it catches its evening meal! And I'm the dinner!
“Nooooooooooooooooo!” was all I could say in that situation.
---
As I stood there, handcuffed and pinned to the wall, I had an opportunity to reflect on my actions.
Waaaaaaaaaah! I haven't done anything wrong at all! Or, wait, maybe there was that one thing....
See, Koizumi-chan isn't very nice to me at all. Whenever I disagree with her on anything, she teases me mercilessly. I already have a very stressful life! I don't need something like that...
Something she said to back when we first arrived here made me suspect that she has a huge crush on Suzumiya-san, so... to get back at Koizumi-chan, I sent her a letter yesterday that I signed “Haruki Suzumiya”.
In it, I gave instructions for her to head up to that shrine place on the mountaintop, and sort of, uh, implied that Suzumiya-san would be confessing to her there.
Great prank, huh?
I mean, it certainly wasn't my fault that she waited there for ten hours, it also wasn't my fault that there was a freak thunderstorm that day, and it very definitely wasn't my fault that she missed all the trains...
But still, it was great prank. She really had it coming, what with all those times she's made fun of me... so, I mean, it was only natural that I went to Kyon-chan's place last night to brag about it. And because of that, it was only natural that I'd head straight home without a word when Koizumi-chan showed up at midnight, soaked to the bone, and it was of course only natural to spend the entire early morning celebrating my success by watching bad TV and eating that popcorn stuff.
So really, I didn't do anything wrong at all!
I don't deserve any of this!
---
In no time at all, my clothes had been completely removed, except...
“That's no good, big sis, you have to take off his underwear too.”
“What? No! We can just leave it on! It's not like anyone will be able to tell...”
“Hoh, but with this kind of flower pattern he's wearing, it'll show up through the thin fabric of the dress. The underwear has to go.”
“Look, I'm not taking off the only article of clothing he has left. You take them off. How hard can it be to just reach down and yank them off?”
Please don't actually remove my boxers. Please.
“No, I'm far too busy watching his eyebrows move all funny.” Koizumi-chan's breath seems oddly hot. “Besides, big sis, you're acting like you've never taken off a guy's underwear before.”
“.........No, no I haven't.”
“Oh my. Well, I know it can be difficult on your first time. Here, allow me.”
Koizumi-chan, still with her arms around my neck, lifts up a leg... and hooks her toes into the elastic band around my waist. Hey, is she actually going to...!?
“Wait, no, Itsuko, not while I'm down here!”
Koizumi-chan's face is so close that our noses are rubbing against each other. I can't quite make out her expression, but... I think she must look very happy right now.
She always looks very happy when she's making me suffer. “One, two...” she whispers in a low voice. “Three!” Ignoring the scream from nearby, Koizumi-chan pulls downward... and I feel... a draft.
So there I stood, naked, in front of two beautiful women. How can this get any worse!?
---
Oh, that's how.
The girls had left me in a crumpled, nude heap on the floor, returning to empty that duffel bag Kyon-chan had brought in earlier.
Its contents... were the stuff of nightmares.
“So, have we got everything?”
“Dress, expensive wig, gloves shoes, makeup kit, panties... yes, it seems to all be here.”
“....I'm not putting the panties on him. You put the panties on him.”
“But you're so well-acquainted with his nether regions by now. Shouldn't it be second nature to put on his panties?”
“Itsuko, I'm locking you out tonight if you make me put on the panties.”
“Oh, very well. Ah, did you remember the perfume?”
“We're really going to put perfume on him?”
“Of course! He has to smell like a woman to become a woman.”
“I guess, but the kind of perfume you use doesn't smell anything like a woman. It smell more like rotting flowers.”
“Which is exactly why I asked you to buy the perfume, my dear big sister. So did you buy the perfume?”
“Yes, I bought the perfume.”
“Oh good! Now, let us force him to undergo the transformation.”
Normally, I'd run away at hearing something like that, but there's not many places you can go when handcuffed and naked.
Koizumi-chan turns around, wearing her smile and holding a fancy red dress, the kind you'd see in those princess cartoons.
...I've got to get out of here.
I bolt for my front door, but Kyon-chan just sidestepped and stood in my way, arms out. “And where do you think you're going in that condition,” came Koizumi-chan's voice from nearby.
“I don't care about anyone seeing me naked anymore! I just don't want to wear that dress! What the hell are you trying to do, anywaaaayyyyy!?” I try to sound tough, but my voice escalates into a scream instead.
“Why, but Asahina-kun, didn't you always say that it was your greatest wish to become a beautiful little girl?”
“I never said anything like that!”
“Of course you did. Here, I have it in writing.” Koizumi-chan passes me a letter. It's addressed to her, and the sender is... myself? Tearing it open, I find a single page with large, childish writing. It says “I want to be the little girl.”
“I never wrote this either!”
“Oh, but you must have.” Koizumi-chan places a hand on my shoulder, gripping hard. “After, all,
the return address belongs to you.” Her words drip with snake venom. “And if you'd like to disagree, well, I can always arrange for your landlord to forget that you even exist.”
...I should probably stop talking now.
“I think you understand now, mm? So head back to standing against that wall. It's time for you to get dressed.” She holds up a pair of silky pink panties, and gives me the biggest smile I've ever seen.
Uwah. Suzumiya-san, what should I do?
...Not even he can think of a way out of this.
“Actually, I think you'd look fabulous in that dress.”
Please shut up, Suzumiya-san.
---
Um, I'll just gloss over what happened next. It's way too embarrassing to go into detail as to how they slid on those panties, or forced me to put on lipstick, and jammed what looked like a pencil into my eye, and, and, you know what, I, I forgot all about that. Repressed memories, yeah.
The next thing I knew, Koizumi-chan and I were standing in my bathroom, and I was looking at a gorgeous woman.
She's wearing a stunning red dress, the sort you'd see on a princess. A hairclip shaped like a rose, just as red and just as beautiful, adorns her long dark hair, making it look even darker. As dark as midnight.
A real beauty... hey, hold on, that's me, isn't it!?
The girl in the mirror hid her face in embarrassment. Yeah, that's me all right. I've actually become a woman!?
“K-Koizumi-chan, w-what did you do!? How come I'm so pretty!?” There's no way it's just because I'm in a dress. You did something, didn't you!?
“Why, due to your natural feminine charm, of course.” I don't want to hear something like that!
Ignoring my now-frantic movements, Koizumi-chan hugs me about the middle again. “So... are you turned on yet?”
Wha?!
“You really like this sort of thing, don't you? You enjoy being subjugated, stripped, and forced into feminine clothing, don't you? And you especially like being in a dress. In fact, being a girl is what gets you off the most, right? It's okay to be attracted to yourself when you're in a dress, right? It's just the wonderful magic of skirts. <3”
“N-no! I'd never...!” Well, yeah, I do look kind of good like this but... no! No! Damn it, Suzumiya-san! Damn him and damn his crossdressing fetish! I'm getting way too used to thiiiiiiis!
My internal screams are drowned out by Koizumi-chan's mad giggles. Kyon-chan, apparently having had enough of all this, walked into the bathroom and sighed. “Are you two finished yet?”
“Fufu, I suppose so.” She releases me, allowing my immediate collapse into an embarrassed and sexually confused wreck. “Shall we go, then?”
Go? Go where? Are you leaving? Please?
“Why, we're going to take you outside, of course.”
“Wearing this!?”
“Of course. Why else would we dress you up so beautifully if not to parade you around? Now, put on your heels and come with us. We've got a surprise <3 for you.”
It's the end of the world!
***
Life is easy and simple for the honest fisherman. Even when there's no fish in the river and you really just look like an idiot sitting on the bank with a piece of string tied to a pole and a thousand-yen straw hat.
“Gaaaaah!” I angrily removed the offending hat and threw it to the ground. Why am I even doing this!? Just spending a bit of money on a goddamn tuna from the supermarket would be less work!
Oh, right. I have no money for said tuna. Instead, I spent it on a stupid-looking straw hat.
'Arghble' was the only thing to come out of my mouth for the next twenty minutes. Upon recovering, I found myself looking at a strange sight.
Kyon and Koizumi-san had shown up, accompanied by someone wearing a sheet over their head.
...Huh?
“Yo, Haruki. How goes the fishing?”
“Oh, you know, the usual.” Pretty terrible, but I won't be stopped!
“We brought you... well, I guess you could call it a present.”
“Sorry we forgot to wrap it.” How strange. Koizumi-san looks almost as though she could explode with glee. “On the count of three, big sis.”
“One.”
“Two!”
““Three!””
The two of them pull the sheet off to reveal....... holy shit!
A tall, thin, nervous-looking young woman in a fancy red dress. But this isn't just any tall, thin, nervous-looking young woman in a fancy dress. This is a very, very beautiful tall, thin, nervous-looking young woman in a fancy dress.
She exudes a sort of... aura. A radiance. This is the epitome of beauty. See, see, she's blushing. It's not just cute. It's beautiful. Everything she does is beautiful. Those tense little twitches of her hands. The biting of her lip. The obsessive smoothing of her dress. The look in her eyes that screams “help me”.
It's all so goddamn beautiful.
I. I want to own this beauty. I want it to be mine.
“Haruki? You have a weird look in your eyes. It's creepy.”
“Hush. That's exactly what we want.”
I ignore my friends, and step forward. Wrapping this unknown girl in a tight embrace, I plant my lips on hers.
This beauty belongs to me now.
***
How should I put this? Ah, yes, I should say that this backfired most terribly. My plan is... falling apart, as it were.
Suzumiya-san was supposed to simply attack Asahina-san like he always does. He was not supposed to do... that.
Oh? You think there is no difference? Then you are simply naive, I'm afraid. There is a world of difference between a grope and a kiss. Especially the kind of kiss Suzumiya-san is giving out now.
I most definitely know which I'd rather have.
In my effort to get vengeance, have I just introduced more competition...? This is... troubling.
The sight in front of me assails my senses. My, I do believe it's going to bother me for the rest of the week.
Very troubling. This isn't what I wanted at all.
***
The kiss only lasted maybe a few seconds, for which I and my sanity for thankful. After wriggling out of Haruki's grasp, Senpai turned and ran, going “waaaaaaaaaaaaah” the whole time. Haruki, however, just stood there, staring into space with a blank expression.
I'm sort of worried about him. Maybe he realized who he'd just kissed? “Hey, Haruki, are you--”
He whirls around, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me back and forth. Hey, stop that! Let go, what do you want!?
“Who was that girl!? I must know!”
I'll tell you if you stop shaking me!
He stops. Good. Now, quick, I have to make up something. I don't want to know what his reaction would be if he realized he'd been kissing Asahina-senpai, and I especially don't want to know if he would have enjoyed it anyway.
“Um, her name's, uh, Juliet. She's the princess of a yakuza gang called the, um, Sharks.” I somehow doubt he'll buy that, but....
“Great! That's all I need to find her! West Siiiiiiiide!” Haruki spins around and runs in completely the opposite direction of where Asahina-senpai went.
Well. Now that he'll be running around town aimlessly for a while, let's go find out what happened to Senpai.
“Are you coming, Itsuko?” There was no response. She seemed lost in thought.
“...Itsuko?”
“Mmm? Oh, I was just thinking.... I should order a dress like that in my own size, don't you think?
“...?”
---
We found Asahina-senpai back at his apartment. It seems as though he'd taken a quick shower, since he's back in his normal clothes and all the makeup is gone. It also seems as though he'd been crying. It also seems as though he's curled up in a corner and won't even talk to us.
....Suddenly, even though what he did to Itsuko was unforgivable, I feel a bit sorry for him.
“Asahina-senpai.... look, we apologize. Don't cry. We'll definitely make it up to you. Right, Itsuko?”
“Why, yes,” she smirked. “Next time we'll make you wear a kimono.”
“Itsuko!”
At that moment, the door flew open. Of course, it was Haruki.
Asahina-senpai screamed.
“Where is she! Where's Juliet!? I know she's here, I followed her scent!”
His sense of smell is that good!? More importantly, how did you get here so quickly?
“Oh, I stole some guy's motorbike. Anyway, that's not the important thing, Kyon! Don't you listen!? Where did Juliet go?”
He doesn't seem to suspect that it could have been Asahina-senpai in that outfit... I was about to make up something ludicrous, but Senpai, raising a trembling arm, points to his kitchen window.
“Of course! She escaped through the rear entrance! Good eyes, Mitsuuru-kun!” Giving Senpai a thumbs-up, he runs into the kitchen... opens the window... and jumps out!?
“Haruki!” “Suzumiya-san!” Itsuko and I have the same reaction as we dash over to the recently-used window. We're several stories up!
When we look out, however, we can see Haruki clanging his way down the fire escape. Thank god.
“Yes... my, I was almost worried for a moment.”
“You said it.”
“So what should we do about him?” Itsuko motioned towards Asahina-senpai, who had chosen to become one with the corner again.
I shrug in response. I think we've done all we can for him. ....Maybe we should just go home.
***
Everyone's gone now. It's quiet again.
This is the worst day of my life. Yes, even worse than the day when we all became stuck here like this. Yes, even worse than the day when I joined this damn SOS Brigade!
Not only was I woken up too early, I was also forced to turn into a girl and then paraded in front of Suzumiya-san, who kissed me! He kissed me....
Aaaaaagh! I can't stop thinking about it!? Was one stupid prank letter really worth this? Really?
Did I deserve all that?
....No, it's impossible. No one deserves treatment like this, and especially not me! I just wanted to sleep in. Was that really too much to ask?
I.... I really want to get revenge somehow. And, there's only one way I know how to do so!
I'll write another letter.
***
“Haha, well, seems I got rejected.”
A couple days later, I finally worked up enough effort to head down to the river and ask Haruki what he did about 'Juliet'. That was the answer I got.
“Why? What happened?” Could Asahina-senpai have actually dressed up again?
“Well, it's kind of weird. I got this letter, like, from Juliet. She told me to meet up at that shrine on the mountaintop yesterday... I waited there all day in the rain, and when I finally gave up, all the trains had stopped running... the weird thing is, I don't get how she could have got my address.... or even how the letter could have arrived so quickly, you know?”
“That is indeed pretty strange.” Damn it, Senpai! You're just lucky Itsuko isn't going to find out about this.
“Oh, Koizumi-san? Yeah, I already told her the story when she called about ten minutes ago. She hung up pretty quickly though, said she had some shopping to do.”
Eh?
At that moment, my cellphone rang. Seems like today is going to be another interesting day...
2010-07-04, 16:29
