Dating

[Tsuyoshi]

Originally Posted by GN0010 Nosferatu

Double negative, I feel for ya bro.

Yes well, it was a long time ago and thinking back on it, I can't say it was love, and I might've been a little too aggressive. Lesson learned

Originally Posted by Kaijo

Getting together with someone who has just broken up is asking for a rebound anyway. Like a lot of things, it could work out(always an exception to the rule), but odds are against you. Of course, if you're only interested in a short-term fling, go for it anyway. ;p

True, although that's not always the case. If both sides can think carefully about what they're doing then there's a good chance it'll turn out more than just a rebound. But even if the two sides have feelings for each other, it's always best to take the time if one of them just split.

[Khu]

Originally Posted by Tsuyoshi

Just a question, this old friend of yours, is she also taken? Either way, you can always try and move on. It is hard at first but don't let yourself be consumed by it. The important thing is to have faith that you will run into the right person some day, but of course this shouldn't stop you from searching on your own

No, she's not...

Though she does go to an all girls school. lol.

[Tsuyoshi]

Originally Posted by Khu

No, she's not...

Though she does go to an all girls school. lol.

Well, that makes things slightly easier but I would suggest taking the time to straighten yourself out and think about what it is you want. I wouldn't discourage you from getting back in touch with her or getting friendly with anyone else you might be interested in, but try and take it slowly. Nothing good ever comes from trying too hard or too fast.

[Khu]

Originally Posted by tsuyoshi

well, that makes things slightly easier but i would suggest taking the time to straighten yourself out and think about what it is you want. I wouldn't discourage you from getting back in touch with her or getting friendly with anyone else you might be interested in, but try and take it slowly. Nothing good ever comes from trying too hard or too fast.

*cough*

[Tsuyoshi]

Originally Posted by Khu

*cough*

This man knows what I'm talking about

[zebra]

Ok ... I don't really know what to make of this:

Yesterday was the birthday of my ex. I had to think about him the whole day - most of it were bitter thoughts to be honest.
I didn't congrulate him. I thought about it, but after my best friend practically exploded ("ARE YOU INSANE??? ") when I asked if I should ... I didn't.

So today I come home from shopping, check my mail box ... and I find a message from Sony affirming my purchase in the Playstation Network. I was confused, since I didn't buy anything lately so I checked what it was. A design for 2€. I never ever bought a design.
So I started to panic like crazy - not about the 2 bucks, but about my credit card being accessible by someone else. Hoping it was only an error I immediately wrote to the Network. My thoughts ran wild.

Did I order that by accident?
Was a guest playing with my dear Playstation lately without me being present?
Who would do a scam only for 2€?
Than it hit me. My ex. My account is registered on his Playstation and I saved my password at his place. Did he get a small birthday present for himself with the bonus of provoking me?

Seriously, am I just being paranoid? I mean I don't know yet if it just was an error by Sony. And stealing - no matter how small - just seems like something he'd never do. My friends say they wouldn't put it past him anymore, but that doesn't prove anything either.
I'm just paranoid, right? With his birthday being yesterday and all ...

I'll just wait and see - and delete my credit card from my account and change the password. Wait till I hear from Sony. But I'm just really scared that someone might have bought more. I'm so damn broke at the moment as it is.
But IF ... IF he ... ack I don't know. I'm off panicking.

[Kafriel]

^ Not calling your ex and not talking to him for as long as you like isn't reeeeeally a problem; I know people who had passionate make-up nights, almost a year after they had broken up, just because they ran into each other at some coffee place.
Now, about the PSN: change your pass! Regardless of who it might have been, they won't have access to it any longer, and if it was your ex (in case he asks after you do it but not tell him, you got every right to throw a fit in a very calm and collected lady-like way).

[Knightrunner]

Originally Posted by Tsuyoshi

It happened to me, but the girl didn't get back with him. She rejected me anyways

lol. A bit to aggressive but at least you learn a lesson from this experience.

Originally Posted by Khu

No, she's not...

Though she does go to an all girls school. lol.

You should try to hang out with her like maybe taking her to a coffee shop and try to catch up. You can have a good time

[Kafriel]

Though she does go to an all girls school. lol.

You obviously need to cross-dress, become a trap, meet her all over again and then surprise her for an amazing result. No matter what happens, it will definitely be amazing

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Kafriel

You obviously need to cross-dress, become a trap, meet her all over again and then surprise her for an amazing result. No matter what happens, it will definitely be amazing

Hey, according to the manga idea of romance, it's the perfect way of getting your beloved's attention! Or making them question their sexuality, take your pick.

[synaesthetic]

Traps can be hawt.

[Khu]

Originally Posted by Knightrunner

You should try to hang out with her like maybe taking her to a coffee shop and try to catch up. You can have a good time

Aaaaaand there's the problem.

I can try, but the only times I really can are during holidays... we live so far apart, it'd be absurd to try to get it past my parents without them noticing... (my parents are strict about girlfriends and such, it's a wonder I managed to have a relationship for 11 months without them noticing anything before )

You obviously need to cross-dress, become a trap, meet her all over again and then surprise her for an amazing result. No matter what happens, it will definitely be amazing

Mate, not sure I'd do too well as a trap. I'm 190 cm. XD

[zebra]

Originally Posted by Kafriel

Now, about the PSN: change your pass! Regardless of who it might have been, they won't have access to it any longer, and if it was your ex (in case he asks after you do it but not tell him, you got every right to throw a fit in a very calm and collected lady-like way).

I did that immediatly. Also removed my credit card as means to pay for now. There is always a lag with the payments so I don't know for sure yet if there were other transactions.

... calm and lady like isn't a possibility anymore. My patience is overstressed, he crossed the line a few times as it already is.
I don't want to accuse him unjustly, but it's just so many coincidences at the same time. Wrong bookings are rather rare to come by, too.

I see the item in my purchased list, but I haven't downloaded it. Worries me even more.

I'll wait till the mail today. I either lock my credit card or make a very pissed call. Or ask him to come here so I can kick his ass. I'm so full of it.
Just a little more and I seriously need a lawyer. I get the feeling I dated a yandere. As much as I don't like to apply terms like that to people.
It's. Not. Funny. At. All.

I actually thought he would leave me alone now. I really hope I was right thinking that. Dear god, please.

[AnnaM]

Originally Posted by zebra

I'll just wait and see - and delete my credit card from my account and change the password. Wait till I hear from Sony. But I'm just really scared that someone might have bought more. I'm so damn broke at the moment as it is.
But IF ... IF he ... ack I don't know. I'm off panicking.

Hey zebra I gotta be honest I would just call him out on it. I mean is it the most mature thing to do? No, but honestly you'll feel better. I would do it calmly and ask if it was a mistake or one of his friends did it as a joke. Just be like I may need to cancel my credit card so it'd really help if you were honest. Cause it sounds like you wanna call him out, so unless you care about making it awkward, which it sounds like you don't cause you don't see him any more, just call him out on it.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by zebra

I did that immediatly. Also removed my credit card as means to pay for now. There is always a lag with the payments so I don't know for sure yet if there were other transactions.

... calm and lady like isn't a possibility anymore. My patience is overstressed, he crossed the line a few times as it already is.
I don't want to accuse him unjustly, but it's just so many coincidences at the same time. Wrong bookings are rather rare to come by, too.

I see the item in my purchased list, but I haven't downloaded it. Worries me even more.

I'll wait till the mail today. I either lock my credit card or make a very pissed call. Or ask him to come here so I can kick his ass. I'm so full of it.
Just a little more and I seriously need a lawyer. I get the feeling I dated a yandere. As much as I don't like to apply terms like that to people.
It's. Not. Funny. At. All.

I actually thought he would leave me alone now. I really hope I was right thinking that. Dear god, please.

I'm going to echo what AnnaM said and suggest that if you want to call him out on it at all, do it calmly. Make it clear that you aren't outright accusing him of doing it, but there's far too many concidences and it all adds up way too easily, pointing in his direction. Even if he starts to get angry and pissy, it's better that you keep calm; it gets people on your side of the fence much more easily.

Also, as always, my PM box is open if you need a shoulder to vent on, or whatever. Offer still stands.

[Who]

I guess this is my first time posting in this thread. Didn't think I would have to but life's strange like that.

There's this upperclassman (girl) in my university. Met about a year ago in Japanese class. She had a boyfriend then so I didn't pay too much attention except to be good friends with her. She broke up eventually, but once again, I didn't pay too much attention to it.

So starting this semester, I decided to participate in the school's Humans Vs Zombies and it so happened that she was in it as well. That's probably where it all started, as from what I can tell (and what other people have said based on their observations), that there was definitely some form of chemistry present. We would meet often for food, contact each other, even until inconvenient hours. And lots of flirting on both ends, even after the event ended.

But lately, I just don't know anymore. It definitely seems like it's cooled off, and now she seems more annoyed to me. I suppose it was because I tried asking her out last week, and my timing was wrong, because according to my friend, she was asked out some time before (before this entire situation occurred) and she had turned that guy down. And I see a post on her blog that she's extremely pissed. So naturally, being the paranoid guy that I am, I have a feeling that it's me. I decide to let her vent for a while until Friday, when we both attended the same Halloween party.

I asked her about it, after pulling her to the side, and she just looked at me confused (not before I complimented her costume). I couldn't talk to her after that for the remainder of the party because she was constantly surrounded by her friends and I had to leave earlier than her due to work.

Due to the nature of my work, I was busy and I couldn't find time to contact her, except a few messages here and there once every 13-14 hours.

Texted her about 2 hours ago, asking her how she was doing, and she just responded with "with friends" and an "okay". And even though it's a simple text, I feel like there's irritation behind the messages.

And now I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on her that easily, as I don't feel this way almost ever with anyone, nor do I know what went wrong. But since I don't feel this way with almost anyone, I'm at a complete dead end on how to continue approaching this.

[Samari]

Originally Posted by Who

I guess this is my first time posting in this thread. Didn't think I would have to but life's strange like that.

There's this upperclassman (girl) in my university. Met about a year ago in Japanese class. She had a boyfriend then so I didn't pay too much attention except to be good friends with her. She broke up eventually, but once again, I didn't pay too much attention to it.

So starting this semester, I decided to participate in the school's Humans Vs Zombies and it so happened that she was in it as well. That's probably where it all started, as from what I can tell (and what other people have said based on their observations), that there was definitely some form of chemistry present. We would meet often for food, contact each other, even until inconvenient hours. And lots of flirting on both ends, even after the event ended.

But lately, I just don't know anymore. It definitely seems like it's cooled off, and now she seems more annoyed to me. I suppose it was because I tried asking her out last week, and my timing was wrong, because according to my friend, she was asked out some time before (before this entire situation occurred) and she had turned that guy down. And I see a post on her blog that she's extremely pissed. So naturally, being the paranoid guy that I am, I have a feeling that it's me. I decide to let her vent for a while until Friday, when we both attended the same Halloween party.

I asked her about it, after pulling her to the side, and she just looked at me confused (not before I complimented her costume). I couldn't talk to her after that for the remainder of the party because she was constantly surrounded by her friends and I had to leave earlier than her due to work.

Due to the nature of my work, I was busy and I couldn't find time to contact her, except a few messages here and there once every 13-14 hours.

Texted her about 2 hours ago, asking her how she was doing, and she just responded with "with friends" and an "okay". And even though it's a simple text, I feel like there's irritation behind the messages.

And now I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on her that easily, as I don't feel this way almost ever with anyone, nor do I know what went wrong. But since I don't feel this way with almost anyone, I'm at a complete dead end on how to continue approaching this.

Let her be for now. If you really want a ballpark time frame, a month at least (but if I were you, I'd forget about her until she came around). Seriously. If you keep trying to contact her she'll just get more annoyed and you'll just end up looking like the stalker/bad guy. And you don't want that. Sometimes when you ignore girls, they'll come to you. Amazing how it works. Don't shun the person, just don't seek her out.

But really, let her be. And if she doesn't come around, who cares. There is always a hotter girl around the corner.

And please, don't think of it as "giving up". Discretion is the better part of valor. Trust me, you don't want to be considered a creep. Girls can feel like they're put on the spot very easily and backed into a corner.

I see guys my age fail every other day at my school (we have a lot of pretty girls) trying to get a girl. It's sad. You don't want to be one of those guys.

I actually got into an old habit and a messy situation with another girl recently. Fortunately I remembered my common sense and have pretty much blocked her out of my life now thank goodness. That was a tough one, but the same old advice I'm telling you now, worked wonders for me as it always has.

[AnnaM]

Originally Posted by Who

I guess this is my first time posting in this thread. Didn't think I would have to but life's strange like that.

There's this upperclassman (girl) in my university. Met about a year ago in Japanese class. She had a boyfriend then so I didn't pay too much attention except to be good friends with her. She broke up eventually, but once again, I didn't pay too much attention to it.

So starting this semester, I decided to participate in the school's Humans Vs Zombies and it so happened that she was in it as well. That's probably where it all started, as from what I can tell (and what other people have said based on their observations), that there was definitely some form of chemistry present. We would meet often for food, contact each other, even until inconvenient hours. And lots of flirting on both ends, even after the event ended.

But lately, I just don't know anymore. It definitely seems like it's cooled off, and now she seems more annoyed to me. I suppose it was because I tried asking her out last week, and my timing was wrong, because according to my friend, she was asked out some time before (before this entire situation occurred) and she had turned that guy down. And I see a post on her blog that she's extremely pissed. So naturally, being the paranoid guy that I am, I have a feeling that it's me. I decide to let her vent for a while until Friday, when we both attended the same Halloween party.

I asked her about it, after pulling her to the side, and she just looked at me confused (not before I complimented her costume). I couldn't talk to her after that for the remainder of the party because she was constantly surrounded by her friends and I had to leave earlier than her due to work.

Due to the nature of my work, I was busy and I couldn't find time to contact her, except a few messages here and there once every 13-14 hours.

Texted her about 2 hours ago, asking her how she was doing, and she just responded with "with friends" and an "okay". And even though it's a simple text, I feel like there's irritation behind the messages.

And now I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on her that easily, as I don't feel this way almost ever with anyone, nor do I know what went wrong. But since I don't feel this way with almost anyone, I'm at a complete dead end on how to continue approaching this.

Haha my school just finished humans vs zombies. Anyways to be perfectly honest (and to agree with Samari) leave her alone. I am saying this because I've blown off guys before because I thought they were being needy and it annoyed me. At the same time I've been more interested in guys because they weren't all over me. I mean if she comes around (a good chance that she will) then thats great and if she doesn't at least you save face and time.
Hope it works out.

[Crusader]

Originally Posted by Who

I guess this is my first time posting in this thread. Didn't think I would have to but life's strange like that.

There's this upperclassman (girl) in my university. Met about a year ago in Japanese class. She had a boyfriend then so I didn't pay too much attention except to be good friends with her. She broke up eventually, but once again, I didn't pay too much attention to it.

So starting this semester, I decided to participate in the school's Humans Vs Zombies and it so happened that she was in it as well. That's probably where it all started, as from what I can tell (and what other people have said based on their observations), that there was definitely some form of chemistry present. We would meet often for food, contact each other, even until inconvenient hours. And lots of flirting on both ends, even after the event ended.

But lately, I just don't know anymore. It definitely seems like it's cooled off, and now she seems more annoyed to me. I suppose it was because I tried asking her out last week, and my timing was wrong, because according to my friend, she was asked out some time before (before this entire situation occurred) and she had turned that guy down. And I see a post on her blog that she's extremely pissed. So naturally, being the paranoid guy that I am, I have a feeling that it's me. I decide to let her vent for a while until Friday, when we both attended the same Halloween party.

I asked her about it, after pulling her to the side, and she just looked at me confused (not before I complimented her costume). I couldn't talk to her after that for the remainder of the party because she was constantly surrounded by her friends and I had to leave earlier than her due to work.

Due to the nature of my work, I was busy and I couldn't find time to contact her, except a few messages here and there once every 13-14 hours.

Texted her about 2 hours ago, asking her how she was doing, and she just responded with "with friends" and an "okay". And even though it's a simple text, I feel like there's irritation behind the messages.

And now I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on her that easily, as I don't feel this way almost ever with anyone, nor do I know what went wrong. But since I don't feel this way with almost anyone, I'm at a complete dead end on how to continue approaching this.

Maybe there was a spark there for a time, but it seems that maybe it's gone. OR you could have over done it, but i don't know you well enough to say. I would say leave her be for a while or move on. It could be that she's enjoying the single life for now as some people do.

If you really dig her, then you should try your hand at something more romantic. maybe get her flowers with a card or teddy bear. Make her notice you in a good way as opposed to that creepy guy who keeps looking at me, following, or texting me.

As for her it is possible she has some personnal stuff she's dealing with that could be dominating her thoughts. ask around, and please don't be obvious, because that would make things worse.

[Samari]

Originally Posted by Crusader

Maybe there was a spark there for a time, but it seems that maybe it's gone. OR you could have over done it, but i don't know you well enough to say. I would say leave her be for a while or move on. It could be that she's enjoying the single life for now as some people do.

If you really dig her, then you should try your hand at something more romantic. maybe get her flowers with a card or teddy bear. Make her notice you in a good way as opposed to that creepy guy who keeps looking at me, following, or texting me.

As for her it is possible she has some personnal stuff she's dealing with that could be dominating her thoughts. ask around, and please don't be obvious, because that would make things worse.

Even if he dug her, I would just pretend that she never existed. Doing something like getting flowers is really a risky, and in my opinion, bad gamble. It may be romantic, but at the same time you're still showing some sort of attachment to her. I've had experience with this exact scenario.

If they had both dated before and had a long history, then sure. Maybe. But the girl might just take this as a hint that the guy just doesn't get the message. No means no.