Poly - And I don't mean the material

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by cheyannew

Uhm, it was his idea to begin with, so I'd have to assume it's fair to him. He doesn't WANT anymore kids...

Ilove how people assume I'm the one making all the decisions here...

Okay then, you never said it was his idea, so I apologize.

[HayashiTakara]

Wait, his idea to not get a girlfriend?

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by HayashiTakara

Wait, his idea to not get a girlfriend?

No, LOL his idea to not have anymore kids....
I admit that's likely partly my fault; I didn't *WANT* to only be able to carry 2 to term, and develop a medical condition that required parts being all cut out and so on.
Maybe he feels that were he to have kids w/ another, it'd hurt me, but he's never said as such. he simply maintains that he's happy just having our 2, and for that matter, he's happy w/ just me right now.

[Habhome]

I haven't read all of this thread, just skimmed the first few pages and the last.

Being the person I am I can't do anything else but respect that you and your husband, GF, etc. are fine with this. If you are all in on it, I can find nothing wrong with it.

Though me myself could never ever do something like this. I am as mono as it gets, and if my girlfriend were to seriously suggest something like this I'd have a really hard time keeping with her, knowing she'd want someone else also. And if I found out she were going out with someone else, I wouldn't be able to look her in the eye again.

I apologize for my comment in the dating thread, but seeing as I'm new around here, and my viewpoint on it being as it is, I hope you'll forgive me.

Originally Posted by Quzor

My girlfriend often tells me that she wouldn't mind if I went out and found another girlfriend (long distance relationships are a killer, donchaknow), but I just can't bring myself to do it.

I'm in a long distance relationship myself, and I agree that it is indeed a pain. My girlfriend on the other hand is saying the complete opposite of what yours is saying. She says that she'd never forgive me if I got another girl.

[Autumn Demon]

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/21/op...rley.html?_r=1

A family of polygamists in Utah are being persecuted by the government for cohabiting. This is sad: not only are polygamists denied marriage rights, they are also actively prosecuted for simply living together.

The family's attorney tries to explain social liberals' failure to defend polygamists as a fear of harming the gay marriage campaign by linking the two unions.

The reason might be strategic: some view the effort to decriminalize polygamy as a threat to the recognition of same-sex marriages or gay rights generally. After all, many who opposed the decriminalization of homosexual relations used polygamy as the culmination of a parade of horribles. In his dissent in Lawrence [the Supreme Court case which ruled all of America's laws banning sodomy to be unconstitutional], Justice Antonin Scalia said the case would mean the legalization of “bigamy, same-sex marriage, adult incest, prostitution, masturbation, adultery, fornication, bestiality and obscenity.”

It's too bad America doesn't have something like France's Article IV of the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen:

Liberty consists in the freedom to do everything which injures no one else; hence the exercise of the natural rights of each man has no limits except those which assure to the other members of the society the enjoyment of the same rights. These limits can only be determined by law.

Instead social liberals in America rely on the concept of "privacy" to expand freedom, which fails to classify freedoms as inherent rights.

[synaesthetic]

Polygamy and polyamory is very different. Polygamy is motivated by religion, control, power. It's "one man, many wives," never the other way around, and usually you can equate "wife" with "slave." The Mormons believe that they must take as many wives as possible in order to enter the highest ranks of their faith. Then they die and become a god of their own alien world.

I've never in my life seen a polyamorous person who was "persecuted" by anyone in government. Sure, yelled at by bigoted assholes, but not actively persecuted for having an open relationship or even two-plus-more.

The only "persecuting" done here is by idiots who try to link the religious polygamy with homosexuality as well as with polyamory. They are not even remotely the same.

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

Polygamy and polyamory is very different. Polygamy is motivated by religion, control, power. It's "one man, many wives," never the other way around, and usually you can equate "wife" with "slave." The Mormons believe that they must take as many wives as possible in order to enter the highest ranks of their faith. Then they die and become a god of their own alien world.

I've never in my life seen a polyamorous person who was "persecuted" by anyone in government. Sure, yelled at by bigoted assholes, but not actively persecuted for having an open relationship or even two-plus-more.

The only "persecuting" done here is by idiots who try to link the religious polygamy with homosexuality as well as with polyamory. They are not even remotely the same.

hehee thank you madam!

[Vexx]

I like this taxonomy (gamy vs amory)... adding it to my dictionary because, yes.... almost all polygamy in the world tends to be patriarchal jackassery in practice.
(yes, "jackassery" isn't a word that should be)

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by Vexx

I like this taxonomy (gamy vs amory)... adding it to my dictionary because, yes.... almost all polygamy in the world tends to be patriarchal jackassery in practice.
(yes, "jackassery" isn't a word that should be)

For reference's sake:
Polygamy exists in three specific forms: polygyny - wherein a man has multiple simultaneous wives; polyandry - wherein a woman has multiple simultaneous husbands; or group marriage - wherein the family unit consists of multiple husbands and multiple wives.

Most (and remember, my experience is pretty limited) polyamorists end up in the equivalent of a group marriage, or at least call it such. Polygamy has such a bad rep (due to the aforementioned reasons) that I have yet to meet another poly who uses the term, even if it is a V with a man and 2 women, or whatever.

[Asuras]

I've lived all my life believing poly-whatever (sorry for being confused on the different types still ), but after reading this thread, and re-considering the actual definition of freedom (for Pete's sake I was pro-same-sex-marriage, yet couldn't see the similar situation poly's were in) I see how it can be seen as just fine. I mean, I wouldn't be able to be in a poly relationship myself, but all power to those who are.

[synaesthetic]

Well, as many have pointed out, the "polygamy" most people get exposed to via the news media is of the creepy-Mormon-cult variety. It's not surprising you'd take a dim view of it, having no proper knowledge of it.

[Haikea]

My opinion about these things are usually very scientific. This message is probably off-topic, but I'm trying to be more clear what I mean. In case where siblings make a baby, there is genetic risks which might produce some defects for the baby. I'm against that kind of behaviour because of those risks.

Same applies to any other behaviour, if there is absolute (unavoidable) scientific risks involved. This may sound like a mind of the robot, but that is just how I see things. The laws of the nature are the only thing which matters at the end. Ignore those laws and replace them with imagination, you just harm yourself some way and maybe others too.

So if there is not such risks when having multiple partners, I don't see anything wrong. People do what they like and although feelings might be just a part of ancient survival system which is still active inside our brains, currently there is no other way so if you want to be truly happy, you have to do what makes you feel happy...or at least find best compromise for that.

[synaesthetic]

Other than the normal risks of sexually-transmitted diseases (which is of course a risk even with only one partner at a time), there really isn't a physical or biological downside to being polyamorous.

There might be a risk of excessive relationship drama... getting it from two directions instead of one!

[Endless Soul]

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

There might be a risk of excessive relationship drama... getting it from two directions instead of one!

Yeah that's about the only downside I can think of. Then again, some people seem to thrive on drama. I'm not one of them.