AnimeSuki Forums

ZeroXSEED · 2011-09-09, 23:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detective-san

Well, I'd like to finish the baker thing first,
then maybe an AU where Chifuyu dies.

(Although, I'm not sure that would work.)

I still have some thinking to do.

After reading all the chapters of One Piece from the start.

EDIT: As for which I'm looking forward to, well, I read everyone's secretly.

How about Chifuyu's "soul" (technically "Digital copy of the first user's Personal Identity in form of High-Level Artificial Intelligence") residing on core 001, which then used by Tabane to create ByakuShiki?

Make Ichika stay with Houki all the time so she didn't as fierce as canon version is.

HasuMasu · 2011-09-09, 23:59

Hmm, I was thinking more along the lines of
what happened to Tomoya after Nagisa died.

Anyway, I'll see what works soon enough.

DarkJak2050 · 2011-09-10, 00:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detective-san

Well, I'd like to finish the baker thing first,
then maybe an AU where Chifuyu dies.

(Although, I'm not sure that would work.)

I still have some thinking to do.

After reading all the chapters of One Piece from the start.

EDIT: As for which I'm looking forward to, well, I read everyone's secretly.

Have you checked out IS: Project Silverback?

Eratas123 · 2011-09-10, 00:11

Good luck with the fic writing detective-san.
BTW does anyone here know why OC's seem to be so hated on the infinite stratos fanfic archive? This is probably the archive where I've seen the most hate for OC's in a while

DarkJak2050 · 2011-09-10, 00:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eratas123

Good luck with the fic writing detective-san.
BTW does anyone here know why OC's seem to be so hated on the infinite stratos fanfic archive? This is probably the archive where I've seen the most hate for OC's in a while

Probably because they have this "Gary Stu" or "Mary Sue" material as they call it. Look here:

Meaning of "Gary Stu" and "Mary Sue".

ZeroXSEED · 2011-09-10, 00:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eratas123

Good luck with the fic writing detective-san.
BTW does anyone here know why OC's seem to be so hated on the infinite stratos fanfic archive? This is probably the archive where I've seen the most hate for OC's in a while

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkJak2050

Probably because they have this "Gary Stu" or "Mary Sue" material as they call it. Look here:

Meaning of "Gary Stu" and "Mary Sue".

Except for "Heart of the Machine", the OC is ALMOST close to Tatenashi-level of "Mary Sue/ Gary Stu-material" YET came as an interesting and compelling character thanks to Author's writing skill in portraying him as realistically tragic character.

Canon character Sarashiki Tatenashi SKITS in the line and awesomely escaped, simply because she is not Harem material (meanwhile, her inferior sister is), which is an Epic Fail level of achievement in a harem series. She also popular amongst the fans.

Doing an interesting character is easy, doing a interesting character with Sue/Stu-material is a gamble of the highest order for a fanfic author.

HasuMasu · 2011-09-10, 00:55

Yeah, it's easy to create a sue/stu in a series that involves fighting to some extent.

DarkJak2050 · 2011-09-10, 01:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detective-san

Yeah, it's easy to create a sue/stu in a series that involves fighting to some extent.

Great, now I have a feeling that my OCs have that...

HasuMasu · 2011-09-10, 01:44

Umu, there's no need to worry, if you're afraid of that, just balance it out.

ZeroXSEED · 2011-09-10, 01:48

Need input for Chapter 5, my head is blank AAAAAAGHHHH!!!!

My current idea is pitting Madoka against Cecilia in a demonstration match (both are gunfighters), the reason is Chifuyu too lazy to smackdab Cecilia with lecture, instead demonstrating it with Madoka.

Of course both of them are fired up, as in chapter 4 Ichika interrupted them with his authority

In the novel version, Chifuyu scold her the hell out because Cecilia always do flashy, useless things like carrying her rifle sideways etc.

Despite has almost equal skill (Madoka is slightly inferior actually, but she has decent experience in Kenjutsu while Cecilia has none), 'By the book' Madoka is able to corner Cecil using KuroGane+ (Hi-performance Melee IS, but armed with various guns aside from Improved Katana)

Chifuyu commented that Cecilia is smart enough to find the answer, and Cecilia being proud to admit her mistakes.

DarkJak2050 · 2011-09-10, 02:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detective-san

Umu, there's no need to worry, if you're afraid of that, just balance it out.

And how the hell am I suppose to do that?

HasuMasu · 2011-09-10, 02:35

Haha, it depends on the context of your story,
basically you have to make a tier list and make
sure the characters don't escape their spot without
sufficient development.

ZeroXSEED · 2011-09-10, 02:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkJak2050

And how the hell am I suppose to do that?

Balance each character's cool achievement with reason and flaws, a character with too much unexplainable achievement and little to no flaws = Gary Stu, a character with too much flaw = annoying & useless.

For example:

1. Shinji in the original Evangelion is whiny and emo, and always running away from his problem, and too submissive to be true, culminating in the apocalypse in "The end of Evangelion". Fans hate him despite he's the main character.

2. Shinji in the "Rebuild of Evangelion" is less whiny and less emo, and while he thought about running away, he ended up facing his problem, less submissive to the people around him, thus deservedly treated as excellent protagonist by the fans.

3. Shinji in "SRW Alpha 3" is a badass, because other super robot hero in the game sorta slapped him some hotblood virus and always encourage him to held his justice every-time he's being whiny and emo.

4. Shinji in "Shinji & Warhammer 40K" is GODLIKE BADASS, SMART, AND MANIPULATIVE. His name mentioned as if he's a God. But this Shinji ALSO being whiny an emo BECAUSE people did not accept him as normal teenage, and he carries too much burden than he actually could handle, forcing him to constantly improve.

5. SINO (Shinji-in-Name-only) is a gary stu with various achievement and being praised for solving each and every single mistake canon shinji has with little to no reasoning or flaw whatsoever. (plenty of them can be found in fanfiction)

Comparing the five examples, number 2, 3, and 4 is excellent examples because while Shinji is upgraded, it works with the story in context. Yes, even Godlike Shinji is still makes sense. Because Shinji is whiny and emo but doesn't make him annoying because it doesn't interrupt the flow of story, but going with them.

Your OC has good potential NOT to be Gary Stues, just balance it out means you can gave them some realistic flaws and realistic achievement, because a war story is asking for realistic situation.

HasuMasu · 2011-09-10, 03:19

Despite that, I think the first Shinji is still the most realistic one.

Remember:

Good character does not equal likeable character.

ZeroXSEED · 2011-09-10, 03:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detective-san

Despite that, I think the first Shinji is still the most realistic one.

Remember:

Good character does not equal likeable character.

Indeed, because I've been analyzed all of them and get to the same conclusion (I'm in a nursing school and taught a little psychology, both Freudian and Jungian).

Remember, End of Evangelion is Anno's middle finger to Japanese Otaku (at that time, during his breakdown). So, making Shinji annoying is deliberate.

Eratas123 · 2011-09-10, 04:05

Can anybody please help me?
I need to see if my OC's a marty stu but I don't think the litmus test is accurate.
If i post my OC's bio would any of you please read and comment on it to see if i went overboard.
Please post a reply if you are, thank you to anyone in advance

HasuMasu · 2011-09-10, 04:33

Post the bio, we'll see what we can do.

ZeroXSEED · 2011-09-10, 04:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eratas123

Can anybody please help me?
I need to see if my OC's a marty stu but I don't think the litmus test is accurate.
If i post my OC's bio would any of you please read and comment on it to see if i went overboard.
Please post a reply if you are, thank you to anyone in advance

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detective-san

Post the bio, we'll see what we can do.

Litmus? No, don't use the one based on "Gargoyles" that one is just ridiculously inaccurate despite looks complex. Especially if you use it for anime/ manga/ light novel characters.

Try the one I find, simple, but works for me 85% of the time.

But as Box (Detective-san) said, posting your bios first, using SPOILER tags if you can. How to use it? well

[ SPOILER ] Blahblahblah [ /SPOILER ]

just erase the spaces inside the box (pun unintended).

HasuMasu · 2011-09-10, 05:05

It's too late to save yourself from going to pun-hell now.

Eratas123 · 2011-09-10, 06:39

Alright then here goes. please give your comments and criticisms

Spoiler:

Name: "Irish" (Given name is unknown)
Age: 14

Height: 5'1

Nationality: Unknown

Appearance: A short teenager with White hair (formerly black, turned white due to overuse of skull suit), sickly pale skin, yellow-brown eyes and a thin and androgynous body build.
Personality: In battle he is always focused on the task at hand and never lets his emotions dictate his actions (at least at first), outside of battle he is quiet and when he does talk he often says things in a blunt or direct manner,due to experiences in his past he is gynophobic and thus is both distrustful and fearful of females (the skull suit helps him calm his nerves in combat), because of his short and androgynous build he is easily angered when people call him "kid" or girly".

Short history: Irish's earliest memories are when he was seven years old and it was seeing an IS murder a man in front of him, due to injuries he received right before the IS killed the man (explain later in the story why he was injured) he doesn't remember anything from before he was that exact moment. After the IS kills the man it saw Irish was injured and took him with it, contrary to stories where the robot saves the kid the IS put him into a Concentration camp where he was forced to work and help build new IS units like an animal and act lower than a human being just to survive. Several months after a group of men came into the camp when security was the most lax and managed to sneak everyone out, the others thanked the men and left to start a new life but Irish, angry at what he's been through and having nowhere else to go, chooses to join the group (they named him "Irish" as a joke for him being short) and help him on their mission- To destroy the Infinite Stratos

Equipment: Due to being male he is forced to use modified equipment and conventional weaponry when fighting with the IS, he does however, possess unique equipment which give him an edge on the battlefield. the first is the 'Prototype skull suit' and the second is the 'Jammer knife'

1.Skull suit- The skull suit was an experimental pilot suit suit (but it doesn't look like a swimsuit, more like what Raiden from metal gear 2 wears) designed for improving the performance of an individual both inside the IS suit and out of it, it strengthens the muscles, eyesight, and reaction time of an individual which would then be carried over to the IS when equipped. Unfortunately they later found out that the improvements cause strain on the human body in addition to stunting hormone and muscle growth (explaining his short stature and androgynous appearance) which causes the wearer to experience intense muscle pains whenever the suit was in use, Irish's teammates found the suit during one of their raids and gave it to Irish upon returning, he wears the suit despite the side effects. To combat the pain received from the suit he takes painkillers on a daily basis which leads to his drug dependency and withdrawal symptoms if he isn't able to take the painkillers. In addition to the improved capabilities of the suit, it also defends the wearer from toxic materials and can function as a wetsuit if needed.

2.Jammer knife- The jammer knife is the other piece of equipment he relies on in close combat situations, when stabbed into machinery it can temporarily jam and possibly destroy them which helps him if an IS gets too close.

Abilities:

Strengths:"Irish" fights using stealth due to the fact that fighting an IS head-on with conventional weaponry is suicide even with the suit he wears, he usually snipes an enemy from afar (with the help of the suits enhanced vision) and uses the Jammer knife if they manage to get close. He also carries backup weapons such as Chaff grenades (grenades that can jam electricity and frequencies, useful for jamming an IS' radar and taking out its 360* vision) and any gun he manages to pick up. Due to being used to fighting against stacked odds he can also function as a strategist and mission support if needed.

Weaknesses:Unfortunately, without his gear Irish becomes near useless in a fight. Since his prolonged use of the skull suit stunted his muscle and hormone growth he is physically not that strong when not in use of the suit and due to his drug abuse he exhibits normal withdrawal symptoms such as cold sweats, vomiting etc (He's basically caught in a loop: if he doesn't take the painkillers the suit will cause him extreme pain, if he does take the painkillers then the suit will stop hurting him but he will have to take it on a regular basis. If he's not wearing the suit then he doesn't have to take the painkillers but without the suit protecting him he suffers the full burnt of the withdrawal symptoms). He also isn't very good in a close combat fight since he wasn't actually trained so a regular soldier or even Ichika with some kendo training can take him down pretty easily.

2011-09-09, 23:59	Link #1142
HasuMasu Senior Member Artist Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: The Middle Way	Hmm, I was thinking more along the lines of what happened to Tomoya after Nagisa died. Anyway, I'll see what works soon enough. __________________

2011-09-10, 00:55	Link #1147
HasuMasu Senior Member Artist Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: The Middle Way	Yeah, it's easy to create a sue/stu in a series that involves fighting to some extent. __________________

2011-09-10, 01:44	Link #1149
HasuMasu Senior Member Artist Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: The Middle Way	Umu, there's no need to worry, if you're afraid of that, just balance it out. __________________

2011-09-10, 01:48	Link #1150
ZeroXSEED I am no one Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Inside your head	Need input for Chapter 5, my head is blank AAAAAAGHHHH!!!! My current idea is pitting Madoka against Cecilia in a demonstration match (both are gunfighters), the reason is Chifuyu too lazy to smackdab Cecilia with lecture, instead demonstrating it with Madoka. Of course both of them are fired up, as in chapter 4 Ichika interrupted them with his authority In the novel version, Chifuyu scold her the hell out because Cecilia always do flashy, useless things like carrying her rifle sideways etc. Despite has almost equal skill (Madoka is slightly inferior actually, but she has decent experience in Kenjutsu while Cecilia has none), 'By the book' Madoka is able to corner Cecil using KuroGane+ (Hi-performance Melee IS, but armed with various guns aside from Improved Katana) Chifuyu commented that Cecilia is smart enough to find the answer, and Cecilia being proud to admit her mistakes. __________________ Last edited by ZeroXSEED; 2011-09-10 at 02:01.

2011-09-10, 02:35	Link #1152
HasuMasu Senior Member Artist Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: The Middle Way	Haha, it depends on the context of your story, basically you have to make a tier list and make sure the characters don't escape their spot without sufficient development. __________________

2011-09-10, 00:11	Link #1144
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	Good luck with the fic writing detective-san. BTW does anyone here know why OC's seem to be so hated on the infinite stratos fanfic archive? This is probably the archive where I've seen the most hate for OC's in a while

2011-09-10, 03:19	Link #1154
HasuMasu Senior Member Artist Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: The Middle Way	Despite that, I think the first Shinji is still the most realistic one. Remember: Good character does not equal likeable character. __________________

2011-09-10, 04:05	Link #1156
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	Can anybody please help me? I need to see if my OC's a marty stu but I don't think the litmus test is accurate. If i post my OC's bio would any of you please read and comment on it to see if i went overboard. Please post a reply if you are, thank you to anyone in advance

2011-09-10, 04:33	Link #1157
HasuMasu Senior Member Artist Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: The Middle Way	Post the bio, we'll see what we can do. __________________

2011-09-10, 05:05	Link #1159
HasuMasu Senior Member Artist Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: The Middle Way	It's too late to save yourself from going to pun-hell now. __________________

2011-09-10, 06:39	Link #1160
Eratas123 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011	Alright then here goes. please give your comments and criticisms Spoiler: Name: "Irish" (Given name is unknown) Age: 14 Height: 5'1 Nationality: Unknown Appearance: A short teenager with White hair (formerly black, turned white due to overuse of skull suit), sickly pale skin, yellow-brown eyes and a thin and androgynous body build. Personality: In battle he is always focused on the task at hand and never lets his emotions dictate his actions (at least at first), outside of battle he is quiet and when he does talk he often says things in a blunt or direct manner,due to experiences in his past he is gynophobic and thus is both distrustful and fearful of females (the skull suit helps him calm his nerves in combat), because of his short and androgynous build he is easily angered when people call him "kid" or girly". Short history: Irish's earliest memories are when he was seven years old and it was seeing an IS murder a man in front of him, due to injuries he received right before the IS killed the man (explain later in the story why he was injured) he doesn't remember anything from before he was that exact moment. After the IS kills the man it saw Irish was injured and took him with it, contrary to stories where the robot saves the kid the IS put him into a Concentration camp where he was forced to work and help build new IS units like an animal and act lower than a human being just to survive. Several months after a group of men came into the camp when security was the most lax and managed to sneak everyone out, the others thanked the men and left to start a new life but Irish, angry at what he's been through and having nowhere else to go, chooses to join the group (they named him "Irish" as a joke for him being short) and help him on their mission- To destroy the Infinite Stratos Equipment: Due to being male he is forced to use modified equipment and conventional weaponry when fighting with the IS, he does however, possess unique equipment which give him an edge on the battlefield. the first is the 'Prototype skull suit' and the second is the 'Jammer knife' 1.Skull suit- The skull suit was an experimental pilot suit suit (but it doesn't look like a swimsuit, more like what Raiden from metal gear 2 wears) designed for improving the performance of an individual both inside the IS suit and out of it, it strengthens the muscles, eyesight, and reaction time of an individual which would then be carried over to the IS when equipped. Unfortunately they later found out that the improvements cause strain on the human body in addition to stunting hormone and muscle growth (explaining his short stature and androgynous appearance) which causes the wearer to experience intense muscle pains whenever the suit was in use, Irish's teammates found the suit during one of their raids and gave it to Irish upon returning, he wears the suit despite the side effects. To combat the pain received from the suit he takes painkillers on a daily basis which leads to his drug dependency and withdrawal symptoms if he isn't able to take the painkillers. In addition to the improved capabilities of the suit, it also defends the wearer from toxic materials and can function as a wetsuit if needed. 2.Jammer knife- The jammer knife is the other piece of equipment he relies on in close combat situations, when stabbed into machinery it can temporarily jam and possibly destroy them which helps him if an IS gets too close. Abilities: Strengths:"Irish" fights using stealth due to the fact that fighting an IS head-on with conventional weaponry is suicide even with the suit he wears, he usually snipes an enemy from afar (with the help of the suits enhanced vision) and uses the Jammer knife if they manage to get close. He also carries backup weapons such as Chaff grenades (grenades that can jam electricity and frequencies, useful for jamming an IS' radar and taking out its 360* vision) and any gun he manages to pick up. Due to being used to fighting against stacked odds he can also function as a strategist and mission support if needed. Weaknesses:Unfortunately, without his gear Irish becomes near useless in a fight. Since his prolonged use of the skull suit stunted his muscle and hormone growth he is physically not that strong when not in use of the suit and due to his drug abuse he exhibits normal withdrawal symptoms such as cold sweats, vomiting etc (He's basically caught in a loop: if he doesn't take the painkillers the suit will cause him extreme pain, if he does take the painkillers then the suit will stop hurting him but he will have to take it on a regular basis. If he's not wearing the suit then he doesn't have to take the painkillers but without the suit protecting him he suffers the full burnt of the withdrawal symptoms). He also isn't very good in a close combat fight since he wasn't actually trained so a regular soldier or even Ichika with some kendo training can take him down pretty easily.