- Hey, hey, hey, hey. Really, hey, hey, hey.
- Even though we dated only for half a month, the happy memories are countless.
- We two together experienced several 'firsts'. Although we didn't do any H-stuff, even once.
- Afterwards -----
- 'Break up with senpai'
- I was rejected by a girl for the first time in my life.
- But thanks to Kirino this misunderstanding was solved. I understood that Kuroneko did not hate me, but rather wanted to lure out my imouto's true feelings, and that's why decided to break up with me.
- After I understood the heart of my imouto,
- 'Before resolving the matters with Kirino ---- I won't date anybody'
- That's what I said to Kuroneko
- 'Then I will do my best... to let you solve matters with Kirino according to my anticipations'.
- That's what she answered me, but this is no longer possible.
- I already decided that it's my turn to confess.
- This is also what I agreed with Kuroneko's father. Because I am a idiotic siscon who can't betray the heart of his imouto, it's all the fault of this idiotic me. Ruri is the one who saved us siblings --- that's why I don't want to continue to bother her, I also don't want anyone to just simply criticize the affections she offered me.
- .... Actually, I also shouted out some lines that were ten-times as embarrassing as this. It was feeling similar to something like this, when I conveyed these things to Kuroneko's father at the onsen. Even though I don't know how in the end I still became a friend with whom messages are exchanged.
- 'After resolving the issues with my imoto, I will convey my feelings to Ruri'
- Now the time has come to fulfill that promise.
- ".............ha......ha........ha....ha...."
- I don't know when, but this december snow has turned into a drizzling rain. I feel the body temperature dropping, the frozen world of darkness is growing bigger. The illuminating decorations near the station are already extinct. By the way ---- this person always refers to herself as a member of the world of darkness. Of course this only is an imagination. But it indeed is the scene I witness right now.
- "What, those stories of that person are not ghost stories after all." (?)
- I smiled at this.
- When have you infected me with that.
- At the beginning you were the friend of my sister, then you turned into my friend.
- My kouhai, my lover --- even though it really was only a short time that we spent together.
- We visited the worlds of each other and were completely swallowed by it (?).
- "Hah.... hah.... hah...."
- I can see Kuroneko's home.
- When I came here the first time, the road lamp outside was broken, now it glows in a brand new light.
- [....] (I don't know how to translate this one sentence here)
- "Hah.... hah...."
- I stop at the entrance of their home and struggle to breath while straightening my arms and shoulders. There is nothing that can be done about that, running from the station till here.
- We didn't have an appointment, so there was no need to hurry like that.
- Put in other words, perhaps I am just so allured by the prospect of concluding this issue.
- How exactly to do it. I still don't know.
- "Hah.... hah.... hah...."
- I raise my head and my eyes grow bigger out of astonishment.
- In this fog-clad darkness, the street lamps are illuminating this spot like flood lights on a stage.
- There is, her.
- ".... You really did find your way here, that's worth a praise."
- She is wearing the black clothes similar to the first time we met. I grew accustomed to that line long ago.
- ..... Really, why are you here. I do not remember telling you that I was on my way here.
- But I do not feel any surprise. Rather, I feel this was very natural.
- Finally we've reached this point in time... Both of us are so assured.
- "This line really brings forward some memories."
- "I agree."
- We smile at each other.
- "I'm not here to dwell in memories. I have something to tell you."
- "....mmhm"
- This straightforward answer is the sign that she is already prepared for this.
- ".................I"
- The memories all stream forward.
- Looking back, it really was a great time.
- The first confession of my life, the first girlfriend of my life, an those sleepless nights...
- She had conveyed here entire heart to me, through that black notebook, as we went on a date every day.
- On the first date, this girl appeared in an incredible outfit... and I was speechless, but also thought it was very cute. Looking back, this really is not something a normal person can do, but at that time I completely forgot about that.
- That's because at that time I was dating a girl named Gokou Ruri
- I had included her, including her weaknesses, into my heart.
- A very shy Ruri, who would blush even if our hands just randomly made contact.
- Who nevertheless still seemed very affectionate and regularly tempted me in an ero-way, only to look like she's about to die when rejecting me after I got serious.
- A Ruri who, even though is a good cook, always made vegetarian bentos.
- Who is very good at doing housework and a strict, as well as caring sister.
- But she also is a.... [...]..... super denpa-onna.
- When we went to the electronics shop, the bookstore, the activities of the club, the gaming center, my home, her home, or the pool after buying a swimsuit.
- Yes, yes, the holy Kamineko-san was even once questioned by a police patrol.
- ".... huh... huh..."
- What's that... even though our relationship didn't last even half a month.
- Is it because the drizzling rain got into my eyes, or why is my sight a little bit unclear.
- When I close my eyes I can see the green scenery of the summer, the annoying sound of the cicades, the sound of the wind, the taste of the fresh grass, all kinds of memories come up. Just like traveling through time, from the time dating Ruri, to the present.
- "......Hu...uh..."
- "Ara, ara, are you crying. It looks really bad. Didn't you say.... you have something... to tell me?"
- As Ruri speaks this, her voice is also very nasally. Even now, I still have an idea what she is thinking (?). This surely is no illusion.
- "Ah, ah.... I have."
- Really, I should have told her much earlier.
- Dragged until now, it was because the summer was too cheerful.
- The innocent days of dating were very very thrilling, happy to a point where the heart was full of it.
- To let all this end is a great shame. I'd like to continue this clumsy love, full of mistakes (?), for a far longer time.
- I still think that, how can I not.
- .......... But even if it is like that, there is no way I can accept it.
- As a consequence of my own decision, and not the ones of somebody else, the atmosphere of that summer will never return.
- There is no alternative to ruining her dram of a 'Perfect World' myself.
- No matter whether an agreement of a previous life, or the destiny of a future life, no matter whether eternal love, all of this have to be discarded.
- '...... this is my dream. I bet everything I want to realize upon this world.'
- Back then, both of us were having the same dream.
- Her dream was of a world of 'the future' of us together.
- The scene of me, and Ruri, and Kirino, and Saori, laughing together.
- Perhaps living together with her parents, and Hinata-chan, and Tamaki-chan.
- And perhaps playing together Sena, and the president, Makabe-kun and the others at our home.
- To tell the truth, I already thought about the names. Is that a ridiculous foolishness? I also thought about having an argument with this girl because of different attitude towards life - honestly, wasted worries.
- Back then I thought something as embarrassing as: if it comes to it, two kids would be good -----------
- In the end, there is no way to meet them.
- "Ruri"
- "What, Kyousuke?"
- In the end we are once again like in the beginning, calling each other like lovers.
- Surely, we won't call each other by our names in the future. Perhaps, in the future we won't even see each other.
- "Ruri.... I.... I....!"
- I bet all my determination and shouted
- "I, I can't go out with you! Because I, already have somebody I love!
2013-06-09, 11:24
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