Dating

[willx]

"Rain" is a very obvious example of "failure to translate" as he managed to make a ridiculously huge splash in Asia and due to a popularity blitz campaign was even featured as a gag-rival to Conan O'Brien. His look or his style doesn't seem to translate to traditional western audiences.

Images

Rain

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I remember even "The O.C." made fun of this phenomenon back when they were on the air when someone brought over a big kpop star named "Big Korea" while people generally looked on in confusion.

As for completely politically incorrect racial stereotypes and how they affect dating, here's some cold quantitative data from dating site "okcupid" that did an analysis of their members:

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/yo...rite-you-back/

Takeaways:
-Black women write back the most
-White men get more responses
-White women prefer white men to the exclusion of everyone else—and Asian and Hispanic women prefer them even more exclusively
-Men don’t write black women back
-White guys respond less overall

Images

Snippet

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Here's also some stats run by a dating website in NYC: https://coffeemeetsbagel.com/blog/in...r-asian-girls/

Heck, since I'm doing a "data dump" (as you can see, I love stats and infographics and analyses) here's one that was done for "porn searches" by country and state, you can click through to the ultimate site that sourced this information but beware that site is NSFW as it is actually a porn site. (IE, I am not linking to the porn site itself, I am linking to a site that did a story about the information). I'll even hide it behind spoiler tags as a second warning just to be safe!

Spoiler for ULTIMATELY LEADS TO NSFW SITE:

http://laughingsquid.com/pornmd-an-i...porn-searches/
http://www.pornhub.com/insights/what...in-each-visit/

[Nightbat®]

Do you mind if trying to calculate and catagorize romance make me a little nauseous

another area where psychology and controlmanagment try to bleed the magic out of it

[LeoXiao]

Originally Posted by DonQuigleone

This thought occured to me because I was reading an article online (can't remember where), that said that Zhang Ziyi, while generally considered very good looking in the west, in China is only considered "average", and that many Chinese people find it strange that western expat men in china seem to go out with fairly average looking Chinese women. And that the explanation for this is the difference in idealized female beauty between China and western nations.

I do get the feeling that the Chinese themselves now have a somewhat different ideal for the stock beauty than I've kind of built up in my mind. Whether or not my tastes are "western" I have no idea, but I was talking to a Chinese girl about this issue when she mentioned that modern media (in China) really emphasizes women with Western features at the expense of attractive but more typically-Asian-looking women. I think this kind of bias does exist and I don't like it. A specific example is the eyelid thing, where lots of Asians don't have the Western-style fold. I personally don't care too much about it and think the eye's attractiveness is more determined by its shape and size, in that order, but now that that girl mentioned it it does seem that every Chinese model looks...not Chinese.

Also mainlanders seem to have developed a terrible style in clothes and hair (at for guys), but that's beyond the scope of the problem.

EDIT: Case in point, though this young lady is Japanese rather than Chinese She looked okay the way she was, now she just looks scary.

[csuree]

well i'm back. Hi there....
I think I came back with a pretty big update of my own....I can say it fairly clear that I went from single to "in a relationship", and that she already has my first kiss

I can say it was a bit rocky start as I needed someone to point it out for me that she is interested in me. I clearly did not read the signs as I should have. Minus point for me...
I can also thank my brother and his GF because they were the ones who actually "pushed" me. We went out on a double date on Saturday and it went really well. I think we are a good match (she also loves anime and manga), but we are also on the same wavelength. She is so energetic, like a child, and she is soo adorable. I did not think women are so small and so soft. I realized this when we hugged.

Yesterday I got a surprise visit from her at 11PM. I was already in my pajamas getting ready to sleep. Because my bro and I live in the same apartment this was also like a double date. We drank vine and talked about some funny stories late into the night and while getting ready to sleep we snuggled up to each other while sitting on the bed and then I had my first kiss taken from me.
We talked lots, in a sincere way; Even my legs were shaking from the excitement. She is so cute and lovely...I thought girls like her do not exist but apparently they are still around. She initially wanted to go home in the middle of the night, but We suggested her to stay so she slept over(in separate beds as we agreed that "it" would be premature to share one bed)
It feels like I found the perfect girl right off the bat.
Our next date is also scheduled on Friday to a Halloween themed party. Also we still meet up at work but our shifts do not overlap each other but we'll manage it, somehow.

"I'm so excited...I just can't hide it". I never imagined that This quickly I would find someone so charming.

And as a friendly reminder: keep your eyes and ears open , sometimes a friendly little chat from a girl is the sign that she is interested in you.
When we met at work she chatted me up about my previous places I worked in and that is how we found out that we worked at the same places in the past. this evolved to conversations, but I thought it was just some random chatting with colleagues, but as my bro's GF is also working where we are now, she said it to me, that this girl is interested in me. At first I was like: No way! but then they pushed me a bit and now here I am... I gotta make sure to thank them for it.

You never know when love will find you, be on the prowl, and be alert....and be yourself, sincere and honest, Good girls appreciate that

[LeoXiao]

Congratulations man. Hope you and her can stay together for as long as possible.

Originally Posted by csuree

I did not think women are so small and so soft. I realized this when we hugged.

I've never had a girlfriend but yes this is true. It's one of those things that logically shouldn't be as cute as it is.

[Poptartt]

First of all I would like to say this is my first post on this forums, im very new also here.

I got quite depressed after watching High School Dxd season 1, I enjoyed every bit of it, but everytime I am not watching it I am depressed. I kinda wish I was the main character and I really feel sort of jelous of the fact that Hyodo and Rias have such a nice/loving/caring relationship.

This depression makes me want to get into a caring relationship similar to to what I previously said. The problem is im a very very very shy guy and have problems talking to allmost everyone. The only person I can talk almost everything about is my cousin. A example of my shyness is for example when I got into my new college/school (not sure what its called in english) I didn't talk to anyone for one month not even a word, the only time I would talk is if someone asked me a question. My second problem is that there are no girls or anyone in my class or barely any in my school because I am in IT/computer science orientated school and the school has basically 10 boys to one girl and in my case none in my class.

I got similarly depressed from watching Kanokon, and I think other romance/comedy/ecchis

Thanks for your time and sorry if my english is bad,
looking forward to reading your reply's.

[Suzuku]

You need to go outside stat...and join a club or something to make friends that can set you up with qt pis.

As for the shy thing...just talk it'll get easier. If you're loose sometimes girls will be attracted to you regardless how you look. I also suggest lifting for confidence builder and hide how much of a nerd you are.

[Nightbat®]

Originally Posted by Poptartt

I kinda wish I was the main character and I really feel sort of jelous of the fact that Hyodo and Rias have such a nice/loving/caring relationship.

This depression makes me want to get into a caring relationship similar to to what I previously said.

This is life, you are the main character, there is no script written by some unknown dude who'll give you a "happy ever after" before the credits roll

Any possible loveinterest isn't going to be acting to cater towards a certain demographic of viewers

and the situations you'll find yourself in will often, if not always be a lot less interesting, but also a whole sure lot less predictable

Like Suzuku said: Get the hell out into the world

You currently aren't shy, you are socially awkward

Join your cousin to a few places, I'm pretty sure he/she can understand your position
Don't think you MUST talk, just start by getting comfortable around people
Think of this as an investment in the future

if worse comes to worst, get therapy, and get help in learning that people in general won't bite your head of if you introduce yourself or ask their name




If you want a loving/caring relationship, good luck, because it isn't a thing
it in actuality IS the other person making you feel it
And it being Real Life, will it IN NO WAY be as you picture it

...and I certainly don't think it'll happen if you don't start talking to people

[csuree]

well I'm back again with some ambiguous feelings about people and trust.

I wrote a while back that I got myself a GF....Now I can write that I already broke up with her about a week ago. Well it is not a surprise...I always fail at human interactions. God did not gave me this ability. Well she still had a very good relationship with her ex-BF(texting and calling him), she lied so much, and she tried to drag the whole thing out saying that we are not a couple yet and those were not dates, we went on. I said okay then we'll get to the next level in a short time. But she had a bad luck, I found out about her Ex and it seems we worked together some time ago so I know him, She lied to him about us saying we are not going out. Well I think kissing, sleeping and taking baths together is more than friendship.
On a Saturday evening I escorted her home, and she was texting much more than average....when we got to the city center she said it is okay I can go now. I said goodbye and left. As I walked towards home I saw her Ex-BF my ex-colleague. I immediately reacted: she was texting with him, He was following us to make sure we are not going out(she did not held hands and no kisses that day) as he walked after her I took over his role to follow and it did not take lng to see them hug passionately when they met.
We had some texts about explaining the stuff I saw. She said I did not see right, and she lied that he is harassing her....yeah....sorry my IQ is 140+, and I can't recognize a passionate hug from both him and her....After this we had some talks but she was feeding me false hopes...I pretended to go along with it but at some point I said that her indecision is making more than one people suffer, and that she should choose. she chose to break up. At this time she just suddenly resigned from our workplace. Suspicious, and today I found out she was lying to everybody, different things. well in order to others not to find out the truth and shame herself that was the best choice.

I can't believe that someone who loves anime and sees how anime girls do not act like this(I took her favourites as example) she is acting exactly the opposite.
This woke me up again that In OUR world most women only deceive and act, And it makes me put up questions: Where is the love? where is sincerity? honor? and kindness?
Women cry that all the good men are taken and chivalry has died out.
My answer: If women do things like these(even the seemingly normal ones not just the b_tches) then they are responsible for making the guys bastards.
I lost another part of my good self to girls and with every failure I get closer to treating women like tools for bodily needs. You can argue with me but so far my experiences prove me right. I am considering in making my self successful only to take my revenge, I'll get rich and play with them like they do.

And a warning..
Trust nobody, be skeptic, defend yourself, I can only say this....It will be a long time until I open my heart to someone, if I ever want to open it again.

[AliceTheCuteMiku]

Originally Posted by csuree

well I'm back again with some ambiguous feelings about people and trust.

I wrote a while back that I got myself a GF....Now I can write that I already broke up with her about a week ago. Well it is not a surprise...I always fail at human interactions. God did not gave me this ability. Well she still had a very good relationship with her ex-BF(texting and calling him), she lied so much, and she tried to drag the whole thing out saying that we are not a couple yet and those were not dates, we went on. I said okay then we'll get to the next level in a short time. But she had a bad luck, I found out about her Ex and it seems we worked together some time ago so I know him, She lied to him about us saying we are not going out. Well I think kissing, sleeping and taking baths together is more than friendship.
On a Saturday evening I escorted her home, and she was texting much more than average....when we got to the city center she said it is okay I can go now. I said goodbye and left. As I walked towards home I saw her Ex-BF my ex-colleague. I immediately reacted: she was texting with him, He was following us to make sure we are not going out(she did not held hands and no kisses that day) as he walked after her I took over his role to follow and it did not take lng to see them hug passionately when they met.
We had some texts about explaining the stuff I saw. She said I did not see right, and she lied that he is harassing her....yeah....sorry my IQ is 140+, and I can't recognize a passionate hug from both him and her....After this we had some talks but she was feeding me false hopes...I pretended to go along with it but at some point I said that her indecision is making more than one people suffer, and that she should choose. she chose to break up. At this time she just suddenly resigned from our workplace. Suspicious, and today I found out she was lying to everybody, different things. well in order to others not to find out the truth and shame herself that was the best choice.

I can't believe that someone who loves anime and sees how anime girls do not act like this(I took her favourites as example) she is acting exactly the opposite.
This woke me up again that In OUR world most women only deceive and act, And it makes me put up questions: Where is the love? where is sincerity? honor? and kindness?
Women cry that all the good men are taken and chivalry has died out.
My answer: If women do things like these(even the seemingly normal ones not just the b_tches) then they are responsible for making the guys bastards.
I lost another part of my good self to girls and with every failure I get closer to treating women like tools for bodily needs. You can argue with me but so far my experiences prove me right. I am considering in making my self successful only to take my revenge, I'll get rich and play with them like they do.

And a warning..
Trust nobody, be skeptic, defend yourself, I can only say this....It will be a long time until I open my heart to someone, if I ever want to open it again.

Wow 0_0 I'm sorry that happened, but I feel like you're basing that one experience as a reason why all women are bad. She probably isnt ready for a serious relationship. But I'm new here and I just started reading this thread. You shouldn't let this experience get to you and move on. Relationships are hard and complicated and only work if both people put the effort in it.

[Nightbat®]

'Vengeful much?"


It's actually funny, you want to take revenge, on pretty much every girl for what this lady did to you

Which makes you no better than my ex-GF who did to me, what she accused her ex-BF of
(yeah I too got played by letting down my defenses for some pretty green eyes)

That's the bad part about generalizing, you end up being a part of it


But don't take it too hard, just like me you just didn't have a big enough wallet

[Ridwan]

Sluts can be fun if you can detect them.

[MUAHAHAHAHAHA]

Going to group dating tonight (about 10 of us). Wish me luck!

[Ridwan]

Show them, girl !

[csuree]

Well she's not the only one. I already have a large pool of experience(20+ girls) in trying to get girls and they all end up doing things like this. so I'm not generalizing.
And if I end up being part of it it does not matter....What I learned in my almost 26 years of life is that no matter how nice or benevolent you are the reward is always malice, sadness, and isolation. Trying to cheer me up will be impossible for a good time....I am very close to the dark side right now. maybe I'll return to the light maybe not, but even if I return I'm not ganna be the same.
I hate this world, It corrupts you even if you try avoiding it.

[willx]

Let me preface this post with a couple of points about myself you may believe or not believe, you may like or dislike and you may understand or may not understand.

I'm generally considered to be pretty smart. I'm generally considered to be articulate, confident, successful and a multitude of other things. I'm generally also considered to be a friendly warm individual. I, however, wasn't always these things. I may in actuality be them now, but not before. The one thing that hasn't changed over time though .. is that while I adore my friends and those close to me -- I am generally not pointlessly nice for niceness' sake.

I won't be nice to you either. I will be cold, calculating and rational. Now, I'm not going to say I don't believe your statements of (20+ girls) that you made above. But let me clarify something -- are you saying you had 20+ girlfriends that cheated on you? Or were trying "to get [20+] girls" but failed? Were they friendly with you and then nothing materialized and they went for other guys - but you've added them to that number? What exactly? Specifics.

The reason I want specifics? Well, if you've dated 20+ girls and they were all cheaters. Then maybe: 1) Oradea, Romania is culturally a place where people are generally unfaithful, 2) your social circle is filled with women that are unfaithful or 3) you yourself are acting in a way that makes people unfaithful or .. maybe, just maybe, you're inexperienced, emotional, suffered recent heartbreak and perhaps continuing disappointment -- and are now exaggerating maybe just a bit ..?

You say you hate the world and that it corrupts everything. The world is the world. It's just there. It doesn't care about you and your opinions on purity and corruption. The world doesn't grant rewards or punishments. It's just there in all its glorious and horrifying complexity and simplicity. We all just bounce around on and within the world until we get some more resources and get some more experience/perspective to bounce around a little less.

Spoiler for Sidebar: "Getting Girls":

By the way, don't ever say that ever again, you don't "get" a girl. You are a person with your own appearance, personality, attributes, etc. You don't go and "get" anyone. They are their own person with their own appearance, personality, attributes, etc. You just be you and the world (and girls) will tell you whether they like you or don't like you.

Then you look at yourself and decide whether you actually like yourself. Maybe you like yourself just fine -- but the world doesn't seem to like you. Then .. as convoluted as that sounds .. do you like "the you" that the world doesn't like?

Long story short -- no one's going to like the you, that you yourself, don't like.

Useful reading: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_self-regulation
Note: I'm hunting for an article I read a while talking about how lack of experience makes emotions more intense and more experience does the reverse due to context but can't find it..

[Sumeragi]

I have the feeling I came in at the wrong time, but I have to agree with willx Onii-san. The majority of the time if there is cheating, it is the fault of both parties. However, in order to defend themselves people tend to place the blame on the other party.

The problem is, what is your case? Was there any actual formal relationship or were they mostly just in your mind? If the former, what might you have done which led to such unfaithfulness happening? If the latter, perhaps it is time you change your way of thinking.

[csuree]

Well I can say my own part of being cheated was that I might not have pushed her enough to make a decision. To be more precise she just broke up with her ex and i was used as a little dumpster for her little problems.

My own issues might have been that I tried to be nice with all the people even to the point that i did not care if something bad happened to me, just make sure they will be okay. And many peole just used this side of me. Well since i had no GF until now, the 20+ girls were more like trying to woo them. in high school I tried to "seduce" like 10 girls in the course of 4 years and every time, they got together with other guys, and i was friendzoned or ignored.

Even in college the same things went over and over again. And as I started to work I got to another girl who just toyed with me and then I shut myself in. After this came the aforementioned girl(all is written down in posts on the previous page). She looked like a nice girl but I had to realize.....she was just using me and she used the same tactics as the other girls who friend-zoned me. To the outside we were a couple, everyone said it, I also believe this was something new but she denied it. most likely because she is still in love with the other guy(who by the way is over-jealous and he even hit her - she told me this, but I'm doubting her now)

During my failures with girls and other people who used me and tossed me aside I lost confidence and my faith in people.
My only sin is that I try to help people, and i try to be nice to them, but my loss of faith in people got me to the point that I'm making sarcastic comments and say the truth in their face even when they don't like it, and I'm starting to be more and more egocentric and a bastard....I know this because my past self is still in there saying that i should not be doing this but my mind and my experiences tell me otherwise.
also this is a very complex situation which originated far away in the past and it would take long to describe it.....
long story short: Once i was a cheerful and bright kid with big dreams to realize, but my life ended up going down and I became a lone, A$$hole shut-in, with no ambition and vision of the future.
I thought a GF would help me get out of this, but it seems like i'm sinking farther into the darkness after this incident.

Oh and willx: about liking myself: i hated myself in he past but I did not want to become what the world wanted me to become and sometimes i hate myself too

[Sumeragi]

I think the problem is YOU. You're basically blaming everyone except yourself and then going into self-pity mode, saying that you are a "nice" person that is being taken advantage of. That is not going to solve any issues.

[Dr. Casey]

Originally Posted by Sumeragi

The majority of the time if there is cheating, it is the fault of both parties.

This comes across as blaming the victim to me. Yeah, there's cases where both parties play a role (such as whenever neglect is involved as a catalyst for the infidelity), but why do you think that it's both parties' fault the majority of the time? Most of the cheating that I've observed over the years is of the "I want to sleep with more than just one person, so I'll do so whenever they're out of sight" variety.