Mock the Lord of the Rings: Joke Thread

[luckme10]

Seeing how the final extended version of Lord of the Rings has just been released totaling the series at 637 minutes of feature presentation of the combination of all 3 movies, i have decided to offer an alternative plot. It goes a little something like this: froto obtains ring, gandalf finds out its evil. Gandalf hops on eagle with Frodo. They fly over Mt. Doom. Other eagles provide ariel support in case of being spotted by nazguals/ sparrow thingies. Frodo drops ring into mt. Doom from sky above. It's good. Basket is sunk. 3 points. The End.

[Thelastguardian]

Call me crazy but Mt. Doom is not like your everyday walk to your local 7-11- there are something call *gasp* MONSTERS along the way- Flying ones, too. At the same time the dark side is harnessing the power of the 3vi1ness to attack human. They desperately need Gandalf to lend a helping hand :) .

[phoenixfire92983]

Originally Posted by Thelastguardian

Call me crazy but Mt. Doom is not like your everyday walk to your local 7-11- there are something call *gasp* MONSTERS along the way- Flying ones, too. At the same time the dark side is harnessing the power of the 3vi1ness to attack human. They desperately need Gandalf to lend a helping hand .

haha, I can just see some orcs spotting the eagles, loading their catapults, and bam! Even better, a combo attack of those flying dragons *forget what they're called* plus the catapults. Then you'll have Frodo and Gandalf flying to the ground to be faced by thousands of orcs lol

Your idea is cute, but too simple for a LOTR plot. Besides you're missing Sam the Brave, who cannot be away from Frodo

[7thMethuselah]

Originally Posted by luckme10

Seeing how the final extended version of Lord of the Rings has just been released totaling the series at 637 minutes of feature presentation of the combination of all 3 movies, i have decided to offer an alternative plot. It goes a little something like this: froto obtains ring, gandalf finds out its evil. Gandalf hops on eagle with Frodo. They fly over Mt. Doom. Other eagles provide ariel support in case of being spotted by nazguals/ sparrow thingies. Frodo drops ring into mt. Doom from sky above. It's good. Basket is sunk. 3 points. The End.

Well, that might be interesting but that way you are also throwing away everything Lord of the Rings is about.

Based on the first two extended editions (I'm getting the 3rd one for X-mas ) I must say I like them better than the original version. A number of things are smoother, or a bit more explained, some added scenes are rather useless. Once i get the third one I'll be doing a LotR sit-through

As a final thing I have to say : LotR was great but the book (orginal version, not translated or adapted crap) is 100 times better (even though it certainly ain't light reading material)

[diabolistic]

One does not simply "fly" into Morder.

[_Sin_]

I'll just turn this into a general LOTR discussion and say that the game Battle for Middle-Earth is quite nice also somewhat easy (I happen to be playing it atm)

[Animizzle]

Normally I would reckon myself too mature to make comments like this: But MAN Frodo and Samwise were gay.
Especially the end where they looked in each other eyes, watery eyes fuming deep homoerotic love.

Funny: yes
prone to the story: no

[_Sin_]

Originally Posted by Animizzle

Normally I would reckon myself too mature to make comments like this: But MAN Frodo and Samwise were gay.
Especially the end where they looked in each other eyes, watery eyes fuming deep homoerotic love.

Funny: yes
prone to the story: no

Speaking of the adaption: Did you notice that Gimli's beard in the movie was about 0.001 inches shorter than in the book? That is unforgivable!

This post has nothing to do with yours but is kinda inspired of yours because you just lowered the maturity level of the whole thread and this is where I come in

[Animizzle]

Originally Posted by _Sin_

Speaking of the adaption: Did you notice that Gimli's beard in the movie was about 0.001 inches shorter than in the book? That is unforgivable!

This post has nothing to do with yours but is kinda inspired of yours because you just lowered the maturity level of the whole thread and this is where I come in

whooootooo!!! you'd better put that in spoilertags Sin, or Elvenpath might ban you according to the NEW SPOILER RULES oh wait this is not the narutoforum...

[diabolistic]

Originally Posted by Animizzle

Normally I would reckon myself too mature to make comments like this: But MAN Frodo and Samwise were gay.
Especially the end where they looked in each other eyes, watery eyes fuming deep homoerotic love.

Funny: yes
prone to the story: no

well..
That part in the film where Sam, Merry, and Pippin jump into Frodo's bed, excited that Frodo has recovered... then you see Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn standing by the door, looking towards them wistfully...

Not gay at all ;P

[DekaMaster]

All of you on this gay thing are just sad really really sad

[Sanjuronord]

Originally Posted by diabolistic

well..
That part in the film where Sam, Merry, and Pippin jump into Frodo's bed, excited that Frodo has recovered... then you see Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn standing by the door, looking towards them wistfully...

Not gay at all ;P

The Secret Diaries of Middle Earth.

Read this a long while ago, they only deal with the first movie, but they're pretty damn funny. Lots of jokes about "the Horn of Gondor" and Gandalf's "pointy hat" trick. Don't think this is the original site that hosted em, but I couldn't find the old link in my favorites so just googled it.

[_Sin_]

I just got an idea for another alternate ending! I'm pretty sure that it will rival luckme10's in terms of stup... creativity Here it goes:

1. Gandalf discovers that the Ring is evil and cannot be destroyed with normal means.
2. Frodo goes and remembers that he could eat the Ring. Don't get me wrong, if a normal human would do that it would have not effect at all. But since Hobbits got a different and more aggressive digestion that rivals Mt. Doom in terms of desctruction potential (this is a fact! Refer to page 43 of Book I), the Ring will lose all power.
3. Sauron falls of the stairs because he isn't used to walking since he was an ethereal being for a long time, and breaks his neck and dies!
4. All are happy but Frodo who got digesting problems afterwards

So, what do you think? I didn't want to mention it but my friends say that I can rival Tolkien in terms of storytelling...

Originally Posted by diabolistic

well..
That part in the film where Sam, Merry, and Pippin jump into Frodo's bed, excited that Frodo has recovered... then you see Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn standing by the door, looking towards them wistfully...

Not gay at all ;P

That's because Sam, Merry and Pippin have a ridiculously low amount of health points (about ~800 at rank 8 or so). What did you expect?


I hereforth deny the existence of this post so if anyone wants me to take responsibility for what I wrote above I won't. Yes, I won't!

EDIT: Animizzle, yes, we should ask a mod to put a manga/book tag on the thread's name!

[sOnJoOL]

The Nazguls will prevent the flight and mess up the plan.
although the eagles seemed stronger....
anyways, in the second and the third movie, Frodo became soooo stupid....
blinded by the greed that was caused from the ring.
and o for the "gay" part., wouldnt you be all happy and jumping up and down if someone so close to you barely avoided death?
(but legolas does look like a girl with the robe-ness)

great movie.

[_Sin_]

Sorry, but I had to laugh out loud after reading this part:

Originally Posted by sOnJoOL

and o for the "gay" part., wouldnt you be all happy and jumping up and down if someone so close to you barely avoided death?
(but legolas does look like a girl with the robe-ness)

and then looking at your sig

Originally Posted by sOnJoOL

anyways, in the second and the third movie, Frodo became soooo stupid....
blinded by the greed that was caused from the ring.

Well, yeah, that's the most logical thing to happen though. You can't expect someone to carry such a heavy burden as the One Ring and get through unscathed (physically, that is). It would just make the One Ring appear like some toy and everyone refusing the ring because they are afraid of what would happen to them would look kinda illogical, no? That's one big plus in LOTR since the hero is imperfect and not some unvulnerable anime main character

[NoSanninWa]

This seems to be more of a "Mock the Lord of the Rings Joke Thread." I thought about closing it and then I decided, what the heck? All it really needs is a new title and it's good to go.

Perhaps I should put a warning on it to the effect of "Warning: Reading this thread can lower your maturity by 15 years. Those under 15 should not enter under any circumstances."

You may now return to the Frodo X Samwise jokes.


BTW Has anyone else here ever read Bored of the Rings?

[Sakaki]

Originally Posted by NoSanninWa

This seems to be more of a "Mock the Lord of the Rings Joke Thread." I thought about closing it and then I decided, what the heck? All it really needs is a new title and it's good to go.

Perhaps I should put a warning on it to the effect of "Warning: Reading this thread can lower your maturity by 15 years. Those under 15 should not enter under any circumstances."

You may now return to the Frodo X Samwise jokes.


BTW Has anyone else here ever read Bored of the Rings?

Ok, I really don't have anything to add, but I would really like to be in my 20's again.



Well at lest I can add this: Funny "Return of the king" video

[Lady Yanami]

All of the LOTR movies were great.
I wish they had put more things from the books into the movie.
I mean, they did an awesome job translating the movie from the book and kept a lot to the actual story...but there were areas, like Tom Bombadil, that they didn't add--but should have.

This is without a doubt, IMO, the greatest and best movie ever derived from a book (trilogy).
Now all Peter Jackson has to do is make The Hobbit and The Silmarillion.

[_Sin_]

Originally Posted by NoSanninWa

BTW Has anyone else here ever read Bored of the Rings?

A classmate of mine did but I didn't bother asking him what it was about because he was an... otaku! (no kidding)

[Tangowr]

LOTR Doujin...Not the kind I usually go for...Aragorn, Legolas, Sam,Gollum/Smeagle got opposite gender
http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/789...506dcl7hz9.jpg
http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/5...dfbdzl1gr4.jpg
http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/681...2486al3ez1.jpg
http://img243.imageshack.us/img243/6...c848ar3uh9.jpg