Claymore Fanfiction Discussion

[Yosei]

Careful you don't spoil yourself again. From now on I'm bracketing these kinds of questions. Click only if you are certain you want to know. Should've done that earlier with the two final battles.

Spoiler for whee:

Yes, and Akatsuki's had a hand in this, although of course, neither of us can go too far or stray from the main plot. The "names" themselves don't herald any plot significance (which is lucky, considering who the guy is).

[hell88]

Originally Posted by Yosei

Careful you don't spoil yourself again. From now on I'm bracketing these kinds of questions. Click only if you are certain you want to know. Should've done that earlier with the two final battles.

Spoiler for whee:

Yes, and Akatsuki's had a hand in this, although of course, neither of us can go too far or stray from the main plot. The "names" themselves don't herald any plot significance (which is lucky, considering who the guy is).

Well that isn't much of a spoiler, thats more suspence than anything. Now I really want to find out who it is.

[Yosei]

Ah, I see. No problem, then

[shelter]

@AkatsukiYu & Yosei:
People have said it, but I'll say it again: good work on the different style. I think some work needs to be done on the title, because "Reflections" doesn't reflect the content & strength of that chapter.

So the animals really like Flora. When I read that particular portion I was reminded of a rather cliched scene in Disney's Sleeping Beauty when Aurora goes into the forest, starts singing & automatically all the birds & animals rush out to serenade her. This chapter sorta had that effect - but you guys avoided it. Flora is no Aurora, but maybe some emphasis on her independence/ fighting-spirit could've set it apart.

Also: I do sense a bit of a look-at-me-because-I'm-hot tone in Flora's attitudes towards the stranger. A bit off character for Flora, who I interpreted as more demure. She would probably be aware that people do stare at her, but will either be too hesitant or unsure to tell them off.

Good chapter, still

[Yosei]

Just in case, I actually did not edit this at all, save for one or two grammatical errors, and even then I did not touch it much. I'll read it and there will always be some parts that I wouldn't write, but I go ahead and post it here anyway. The content is, like... 99.5% guest author's.

[shelter]

@Yosei:
I see, I see. This is the first time I'm seeing AkatsukiYu's work. Now I know the standard he'll be setting for the chapters I'm writing for him

[Yosei]

Hi all, this is Chapter 27 of Let the Blood Flow, once again, another guest chapter by AkatsukiYu. My internet has been having some erratic problems, so I don't know if I can consistently post up the other chapters as per the usual schedule. Also I have started on other projects so I can't be as committed to this one as I was a couple of weeks ago.

I think it's fair to say that this attempt to involve more members has largely been successful, probably not because of the number of participants who actually wrote a chapter or more (which was rather few), but the sheer amount that came from them. So I think this is an encouraging point to note for the future.

Spoiler for space:

Chapter 27: Guest Chapter by AkatsukiYu: Reflections II

The week had come and gone, and a new week of schooling for the children has begun. The city of Pieta has a school to teach children the basics of educations, having over four hundred children from ages four to thirteen.

The school was well known for its value in children and their care for them as their parents worked through the day. As a substitute, to the little ones of age’s four to five, a teacher acted as a motherly figure towards those who needs attention.

The beautiful elegant Flora, she cared for them as if they were her own.

As she felt a week ago, the season was changing and she wanted the children to enjoy it while it last. Today she wanted to bring the children to picnic out in the school’s park. The weather was still warm and the sun was still with them along with the fluffy white clouds here and there.

The children had a substitute to replace Flora when the children finish their recess. She left as soon as their recess begun and headed to the market where she had rented a horse to help her carry the supply she will buy.

She nearly gathered all the items she needed within the hour since her gathering began. Her last stop was at the bakery. She was welcomed by the elderly host of the bakery. She was well acquainted with many of the local shops in the markets. Many were run by the elderly whom are happy even though their days were limited, but as they know. A story must have a beginning and an end.

“Please Flora, it is on the house.” said the elderly man slightly bending over due to some back problems.

“No that’s too much! Please allow me to pay for it,” Flora tried to reason his kind offer.

“Flora my dear, it brings me great joy to see children to eat my bread that you paying for it. Nothing beats a young child’s smile.”

“But this many delicious breads…” Flora looked into the package which was rather grand.

“Anything for the children, little lady,” though even though she is younger, Flora stood taller than him… a lot.

“Thank you so much then Master Sands, I’ll repay this kindness I swear it.” Flora thanked him repeatedly.

Flora waved goodbye to him when she exited his shop holding the bag close to her chest making sure not a single one would fall out and headed for her horse, until…

“What do we have here…” a sly voice was called out.

Flora turned he head to see where the voice originated, and her thoughts exactly. A gang of a dozen men were around her. “Out of all times…”

“That’s a pretty big bag you have there, perhaps I can help you with that,” one of the men stepped forward offering his hand.

“Thank you, but I can handle this myself,” Flora replied calmly.

“But that outfit you’re wearing is going to get all wrinkled if you hold it close to your ‘clothes’.” replied another man. Flora was wearing her usual blouse and a skirt outfits, with an open thin jacket.

“Yes, let us help you…” many began to admire how… ravishing she looked.

“I assure you I can handle this myself,” Flora began to put some tone into her voice. The man leered and stepped forward causing Flora to step back until she felt a surprise feeling.

She had moved back and her rear went right into a hand and it grabbed her firmly.

She noiselessly gasped and automatically punched the guy that groped her. With luck, she still held the groceries in one arm. “Uh-oh…” Flora thought as the man fell backwards with his ass pointing upwards and lay there unconsciously.

“You little bitch! We were trying to be nice to you!” the mood of the men turned from dirty to evil. Many of them put up their fists and began advancing on her.

Flora thought of her situation now, “Well… I guess I’ll buy another few.” She was willing to sacrifice the breads she carried than her face or else the children will cry for her.

Abruptly, two whacks were heard and Flora turned around again. Master Sands had come out of his store with a broom and came to Flora’s aid.

“Are you alright my dear?” the old man huffed.

“Master Sands, please go inside! You’ll get hurt!” Flora told him.

“Nay my dear, you weren’t willing to throw down those breads were you my dear?” he asked her.

“…no… I wasn’t!” Flora lied to him.

“Old man go bake your breads!” one of the men barked.

“I would, but it seemed like there are pest lying around that I must get rid off.”

“Just like us old man, we better get rid of you first before we can bake some bread too. Only one of us will get lucky and put a bundle in her oven,” the man in the front replied wickedly.

Flora gave a disgusted face and Master Sands gave a similar look to his response at the vulgarize comment.

“You are truly disgraceful dogs…” a new voice came.

A strange looked erupted, “Who said that!?” A figure jumped into the circle, and when Flora saw his clothes and face her heart skipped a beat.

“You stupid aerobatic, just because an old man and a guy who does gymnastic came to her rescue doesn’t change the fact we still outnumber you!” the man said confidently.

“That’s your downfall…” the newcomer said and he rushed at the ‘suppose’ leader.

The brute swung clumsily at the dark-haired man. But the latter was too quick. He simply caught the man’s punch at the fist and elbow. Eye gleaming in scorn, he silently twisted, and the thug screamed, his arm broken at an impossible angle.

Flora eye’s widened. “You – ”

That man… he turned and calmly thrust his elbow into a charging strongarm’s face. A loud crack rang through the town. He spun back and swept his leg at another’s knees, dislocating them. He gathered himself back up, calmly tilting his head away from a furious cross by one of Flora’s prospective molesters. His thumb found the man’s stomach, and he pressed inwards. Somehow, it was enough to make the ruffian double over in pain, as if… his internal organs had been damaged.

The heel of the black-haired man’s palm shot past a furious, wild punch, and neatly broke his attacker’s jaw.

Flora could not believe her eyes.

A… foreign martial art?

It was nothing like bare-knuckle boxing…

But, it seemed quite effective too, if not moreso.

“Anyone else?” asked the ebony-haired foreigner calmly. “Let us see. One, two, three… ” he smiled darkly. “Five down, six to go. Or, have you had enough?” he asked mock-leniently, as the remaining men began to back away. One of them let out a loud, desperate scream and charged again. The brooding savior’s booted foot dug into his face in wide, arcing kick, and the thug dropped, helpless. He smirked. “Let’s go through this one more time…”

And with that, he dashed toward the terrified gang. He raised his fist, silent once again.

Like a shadow passing by a sun-baked wall, it was over surprisingly quickly.

The last of the thugs fell to the ground. Flora and Master Sands stood over the fallen victims, all groaning and moaning in pain.

“Are you hurt?” the same man she met a week ago asked them.

“No, thank you young lad for your help,” Master Sands replied.

“I am not young,” he replied with that same cold voice she remembered. He turned his gaze onto the woman. “You’re that women I asked directions for a week ago are you not?”

“Yes, I’m surprised you still remembered me…” a small smile crept over her lips.

“Of course I remember you… your outburst with that question is still quite clear in my mind.” he replied, it made Flora blushed madly and her grip over her groceries was crushing them. “Though, now I see why you asked that ridiculous question,” he eyed the men on the ground as he nudged one of the unconscious men with his foot.

She felt lightened for some reason, “Flora my dear, you’ve um… crushed them,” Master Sands said to her. Flora looked down at her now squished breads. “Oh dear, those were some of the finest of the day,” he replied sadly.

“Oh my god, I’m terribly sorry Master Sands. I’ll have to buy a new batch of breads from you again.”

“I must inquire it as well Flora…” Master Sands replied sadly though Flora did not feel remorse.

“You will not…” the newcomer said, causing a disturbance on the two people’s faces. “I will pay for the damage goods and the new ones she will buy.” He pulled out his money pocket and revealed multiple gold bars.

At such a small sight Master Sand eyes lit up like a little child. “Here, keep it consider her debt paid.”

The stranger handed him the ten gold bars.

“Sir, that’s too much to ask for. Please let me pay for my own groceries,” Flora begged the man.

“Thank you so much kind sir,” Master Sands quickly took the man’s hand and shook it unexpectedly. He gave a strange look on his face, watching the old man take his hand and began to shake it immediately before retreating into his shop and reappear with a new bag of warmly baked bread again.

Flora look disappointed, she didn’t think Master Sands was into money. “Flora my dear, please watch your self more carefully. The city guards will be here soon, I’ve sent a boy to them before, they will here any moment. I’ll explain to the city guards of the harassment they done to you.”

“I will stay as well I must give the details of my involvement as well,” the stranger inquired.

“B-but…” Flora seemed like she did not have a voice amongst the two men.

“Nonsense child, you done a good thing today, of course I will tell of your great triumph over a dozen men.”

“I am not a child… but, since you insist of getting rid of me, I will be off then,” the stranger replied and began walking away.

“Wait! – Oh um, thank you Master Sands, I promise I will make it up to you.” Flora thanked the old man again as he handed her the grocery bag and she fled to catch up to him.

“What is it?” the stranger asked her continuing to walk past the shops. Flora slowed her pace to a walk speed.

“I haven’t apologized or thanked you yet on two occasions…” Flora replied hinting a small bit of shame.

“Your apology is not required, you need not to thank me either. So you can drop the subject,” he replied.

His emotionless voice was soft yet thick with coldness, but it didn’t stop Flora. “Then allow me to know your name kind master…” Flora asked, hoping in getting a response.

The stranger stopped and turned around to face the woman. “Vincent… Valentine.” he told her, for some reason Flora’s eyes brightened and her eyes began to glow.

“I am Flora, Master Valentine, I thank you for your generosity in protecting me.” Flora thanked him.

“*sigh* I told you, your thanks is not required when – ”

“Then allow me to show you gratitude… please join me for lunch?” Flora asked him.

“I’m sorry?” Vincent gave a peculiar look.

“I’m a school teacher at the local school, I’m planning on taking my class to lunch today. Please allow me to offer this one offering of my thanks to you.”

“I can’t,” Vincent quickly responded to her question.

Flora quickly responded back at him, “Are you busy now Master Valentine?” Flora felt disappointed again.

Vincent turned his back “…I’m… not really… good with kids.”

“Oh…” Flora was shocked, yet from the first time she saw him, he wasn’t really a sociable person. “Please not to worry Master Valentine; the children treat me as a second mother to them. If I introduced you to them, they won’t be scared of you since you are with me.”

It took some time before Vincent can answer her. “It is uncustomary for a woman to treat a man to lunch, but I will accept your offer.”

Flora quickly tried to hug him but he immediately stopped her, “Matte!” he blurted before she even came close to hugging him. She looked at the man and questioned his motives, with him, he’s really a strange… yet a unique man. Though she wonder what would stop a man from hugging her (since no man would deny such a pleasure). “You’re going to crush those breads again…”

Good reason…

Whee

Spoiler for whee:

I was assured by AkatsukiYu that his own insertion of Vincent Valentine is as AU as the other Claymore characters, so rest assured, like I was... no Final Fantasy here.

[hell88]

@Yosei: Lol Vincent Valentine, I never would have guessed this. I was thinking about all the possible men in Claymore that Flora could have fallen for, but there isn't a lot of them. So I had no idea what you and AkatsukiYu were planning. I like this Master Sands though for some reason, he seems like a cool old guy. You should put him in the story more.

[KillerYomaFromSpace]

OMG! Crossovers!

Although I'm not a fan of FF, it was fun to read, looking forward for the rest of the story

[Yosei]

Hi guys, don't forget, the Vincent Valentine of this AU has nothing to do with FF, it's only because the name/character/personality fits what we want to do with Flora's husband.

I know... I was confused too. It took me a while for AkatsukiYu to explain that to me.

[AkatsukiYu]

Yes... I got a lot of that impression that it is more of a crossover in most writing when I do Flora x Vincent.

Practically I find it difficult to find a neutral/mutual ground between the two franchise. But Flora x Vincent is something that I grown fond of.

It's more of a story of a character and another character that is not owned by me, and they belong to their respective owners.

I only hold ownership of the original story itself (Flora x Vincent).

[KillerYomaFromSpace]

I've been thinking about the offer of writting one arc in Yosei's story and my head is already messed up

I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how to write something interesting using a character that is not mine, that also have diferent circumstances than the real one, and fitting it into a universe that is from a third author.
one must stay true to many things at the same time, its a huge challenge IMO

[hell88]

@shelter: Just read chapter four of Snakehead. I didn't think about it until I saw your chapter that, thats how Galatea could have lost her vision and everything. Wow nine months though for that story, it doesn't feel like its been that long. Good job though.

[shelter]

@AkatsukiYu:
I don't have an knowledge of FF unfortunately. So I really wonder if this Vincent Valentine character is really so gentlemanly, mysterious & adorable.

While I think the way he fights is well described, I did not really like his style. I'm pretty certain Flora could've handled those thugs on her own. I think the unfamiliarity wasn't helped that he wasn't introduced properly - somehow his name "Vincent" slipped into the story several paragraphs before his formal introduction. So some confusion there.

If Master Sands was willing to charge nothing for the 1st round of bread, why charge for the 2nd? A bit too convenient a situation for Vincent to show his gentle- manliness. I was thinking a more appropriate scenario for Vincent to show he genuinely cared was to compel Flora to walk with him to ensure her safety, or to get the thugs to apologize to her.

@Hell:
Thanks very much. I'm grateful you liked it. It took a long time & longer time to edit. Right, Tempest? That's my take on how Galatea lost her sight.

[Tempest35]

Originally Posted by shelter

@Hell:
Thanks very much. I'm grateful you liked it. It took a long time & longer time to edit. Right, Tempest? That's my take on how Galatea lost her sight.

*scratches head*

[Yosei]

Hi this is Chapter 29. After this I'd like to disappear from storywriting for a while due to other projects and other people's guest chapters. I've set everything up in this chapter so that as long as you follow the story progression (Clare vs. Raki, then Rigardo, then Riful, then Priscilla), you can write about anything... and now that the first phase of the guest chapters are done, I'm opening up for people to actually contribute to the main story itself. This should be interesting.

Spoiler for space:

Chapter 29: The Knight of the Dawn

After returning from Rabona after her scheduled tutelage under Galatea, Clare had remained on a small stool in the living room, fondly observing Teresa dozing away on the humble couch that stood before their fireplace. The former Champion had fallen asleep an hour earlier, and her eyes were gently closed, her frail body completely free from any worry.

“I’m walking the last steps of my journey, Teresa,” murmured the younger woman, watching the golden locks falling down her face. “I promise I’ll tear through these other opponents. I won’t let anyone stand in my way to Priscilla. If that’s what Isley is trying to do, he’s got another think coming.”

“You are not daunted by your initial lineups, Clare?” came Flora’s kind voice. Clare glanced up, her eyes meeting the schoolteacher’s. “You are to fight three of the Royal Lancers, after all. I have faith in you, but nevertheless…”

“I can’t be intimidated. I can’t be frightened. Not now that I’ve come so far.” Clare smiled. “So… what do you think? I know it’s not very impressive. I hope it’s comfortable enough.”

“Your house… reminds me of my own,” replied Flora happily. “When my husband and I joined together in union, we also chose to find a home in a quieter neighbourhood. I never suspected you would possess such craftsmanship. It must be wonderful, living with Mistress Teresa so far away from the bustle of the city.”

“Well, it does get a bit monotonous jogging back and forth to the Academy everyday,” mumbled Clare, brushing aside Teresa’s locks.

“I am honoured you chose to bring me here, my dear Clare,” confessed Flora, lowering herself to Clare’s sitting height. “I never imagined that the legendary Champion, Teresa of the Faint Smile, was your adoptive mother. That you live together in such a wonderful place is…” she blushed. “So touching. It is as if I am privy to an important secret between you and Mistress Teresa, and in that sense, I feel privileged and unworthy.”

“You… love your husband very much, don’t you?” asked Clare, somewhat shyly.

“Yes. His eyes have plagued my dreams recently. As you know, I have not been fulfilling my duty as efficiently as I should be…”

Clare gave a bashful grin. “You want to talk about it? Perhaps some warm food would help you feel better, and loosen your tongue.”

“I couldn’t possibly – ”

“May I cook for you? Or would you prefer our favourite inn?”

Flora shook her head, giddy with helpless pleasure. “Well, if you insist – ”

Clare nodded approvingly. “I think it’s high time you stopped eating dinner alone.”

*

Rabona

Raki adjusted his bag on his shoulder, looking around the city spires that towered over the cobbled streets. “What a beautiful place,” he breathed, smoothing down his loose trousers and shirt. “It’s a nice change from my lame shack. Not sure if I’d like to live here, though.” He glanced at the address on the parchment, held tightly between his fingers. “Sometimes you just never admit you’re wrong, Master,” he grumbled to himself. “Sometimes I’m glad I don’t attend Sutafu.”

A night to spend in Rabona, huh...?

He looked up. Dusk had fallen, and the streets were filling with the life of the men, women and children who wandered out of their homes, bakeries, blacksmiths and stalls to enjoy the summer evening. He nodded happily as a family passed him, their small daughter giving a shy wave. “I should find myself an inn. Some hot food, and beer. And…” he grinned cheekily. “I would like to see what the barmaids here are like.” He turned, his boot scratching the pavement lightly. “Maybe I should ask someone for a recommendation…”

His eyes began to wander, but very quickly, they had been pulled away, his gaze almost forcibly landing on three women who stood outside a relatively quiet inn, where there were not many patrons. Perhaps it was still yet too early…?

But as he drew nearer, his demeanour became more cautious. For they did not seem like the women one could speak with on an equal level. They did not seem like normal women at all.

One was a silver-haired woman, stern as she was tall. Her slanted eyes lent her an air of severity, contrasted by her youthful, strangely endearing elfin ears. The second was another beauty of around the same height, her long blonde hair contrasting nicely with the elf’s. Her eyes were large but cynical, and her smile seemed twisted perpetually in wryness. Finally, a much more boyish woman stood with them, her hair parted from the sides, her voice boastful and loud, and her words cantankerous. He was so absorbed in watching them talk that the silver-haired one turned and looked directly at him. “How rude,” she sniffed. “Have you no manners, young man?”

Raki blinked. “You guys look powerful,” he blurted. He had allowed his honest nature to get the better of him. “I bet you’re no ordinary good citizens. No – ” he shook his head. “You guys have got to be bare-knuckle boxers.”

“What’s it to you?” retorted the tall blonde lazily.

“Pleased to meet you,” smiled Raki. “You must be the famous God-Eye Galatea.”

“And who are you?”

“Raki’s the name. I’m first on your student’s list, aren’t I? Clare? Looks like I’m boxing her very soon.”

Helen raised an eyebrow. “A man? That’s pretty unusual. Not many of them really need to enter these kinds of tournaments.”

“I know not of him,” said Irene. “Perhaps he is a novice.”

Galatea nodded. “Raki, huh? So that’s what you look like. No one around here has heard of you – just how skilled are you, exactly, to have come this far to fight in the World Festival?”

Oh, right. I forgot to tell them… His smile faded ever so slightly. “Well, here goes,” he said. “Please don’t take this personally. But on behalf of the Royal Lancers, I’m going to have to defeat your student. Is she here now? An introduction would be – ”

“No, she’s not here. After your little minion tried to carve up our gym, it hasn’t been so cordial between Rabona and Sutafu. And what makes you so certain of success?” challenged Galatea.

Raki shrugged. “I’m sure you’re a true warrior. It’s just that I’m no slouch either.”

“We’ve never even heard of you,” snorted Galatea contemptuously. “Why should we be afraid of you?”

Raki smiled cheekily. “Maybe that is the reason," he suggested.

Irene’s eyes narrowed. Was he bluffing?

He certainly didn’t look like it.

“Well, if Clare’s not here, I don’t think I want to soil you guys with my presence anymore,” he said sarcastically, turning away. “Give her my regards – she might think she’s just heading into another four rounds of boxing matches, but it’s a bit more than that if you’re dealing with the Royal Lancers.”

The tapping of his boots was sombre as he departed.

Galatea’s face was scrunched in displeasure, but deep down, she knew he was right. He knows how far Clare has come as much as we do. What else might he know?

The World Festival was about to begin, and Clare was about to engage the Royal Lancer’s forces for the first, legitimate time.

[hell88]

I really wonder how this fight is going to go between Raki and Clare, Yosei. For some reason I feel it might just be as dramatic as Clare vs. Priscilla. Mabye its just because of who they are. I still think Clare will beat the crap out of him though, I have a strange feeling that he will leave Easily after though and I think I'm right. I'm kind of just speculating though about where your story is going.

[hell88]

Alright its been a few weeks but I've finally done it, here it is chapter 10 of Double Edged.

Spoiler for double edged chapter 10:

Double Edged
Chapter: 10 Deep into The Darkness

In the mountains out to the west, Clare, Raphaela, and Raki stood outside of a cave. It was Riful's secret place, it wasn't so much a secret because Raphaela showed them the place. Clare turned around and saw Jean, Irene, Clarice, and, Miata runing to them.

"So you decided not to go back to the others after all." Clare said. "Raki stay out here away from this place, you won't stand a chance in they're."

Raki stepped back.

"You too." Raphaela told Clarice.

"What, why?" Clarice asked.

"You won't stand much of a chance either, protect Raki or somthing instead." Raphaela said.

Clarice looked at Raki and blushed. "O-okay." She studdered.

"This is that place isn't it?" Jean thought. "Why are we here?" She asked Clare.

"There is a warrior in their. Her name is Lune and Riful has kept her not wanting to kill her or awaken her. She's more like Dauf's pet now, when I ran away from this place I said I would come back and save her." Raphaela said looking at everyones expressions.

"Now we are here to kill Riful and Dauf as well." Clare said.

Clare and Raphaela walked into the cave. Irene and Jean looked at each other and went in behind them. Clarice and Raki did what they were told, Miata stayed with Clarice.

"I don't sence anyone here." Clare said as they walked deeper into the cave.

"She's here." Raphaela said. As she took them into a door that went into a large room full of more doors.

"This place is like an underground castle." Irene said. "It looks so amazing yet its so mysterious."

"Don't let the looks of this place fool you Irene we don't even know if they know that we are here." Raphaela said.

"Just keeping our yoki down will be good enough so they don't know we're here." Clare said.

Then the floor started to crack.

"They know we're here." Raphaela said jumping back along with everyone else.

Dauf jumped out of the ground in his awakened form. He looked around and reconized Clare and Jean. "Its you!" He yelled.

"This big dumb idiot is still alive?" Jean asked sarcastically.

"Hey I'm not dumb!" Dauf yelled. "I'll kill you for that! All of you!"

Then Riful walked out of the hole in the ground that Dauf made. "Now calm down Dauf, oh look at this. Have you all come to join me?" She asked.

"Riful!" Everyone yelled in shock.

She turned into her awakened form. "I can use some more friends." Riful said quickly grabbing the former warriors with her ribbons.

"No! We didn't stand a chance!" Clare yelled.

"Oh its you again." Riful said holding Clare to her head. "I'll make you awaken and you will be the strongest." She said laughing. "I have no use for the rest of you though."

Riful looked like she was going to rip them apart but Clare yelled. "Wait!"

"Let them go, you can have me." Clare said.

"Wait Clare do you know what you are saying?!" Jean yelled.

Riful moved Jean and had her beside Clare now. "Oh its you, you must be good friends with Clare are you not?" She asked.

"I won't answer a monster!" Jean yelled spitting at Riful.

"Clare you would probably awaken if anything happened to her wouldn't you?" Riful asked.

"What?!" Clare yelled. "What are you planning?!"

Riful smiled as she put a ribbon around Jean's neck. "Hard to breathe now isn't it?"

Jean started choking.

"Jean!" Clare yelled.

"Good bye." Riful said cutting Jean's head off.

"JEAN!" Clare yelled as she watched Jean's headless body hit the ground when Riful let go of her.

"She was so nice to you wasn't she?" Riful asked holding Jean's head up to Clare.

"Jean...." Clare muttered.

"Still not enough to make you want to awaken?" Riful asked.

Clare looked down her sword along with everyone elses was on the ground.

Riful held Raphaela up to Clare. Raphaela had a frightened looked on her face. "Is she a friend of yours too? She has caused me a lot of trouble these past few months. Good bye."

Riful's ribbons cut into Raphaela's body from all directions. Raphaela let out a loud scream of pain. It wasn't very long though as her body exploded and her blood and guts landed all over Clare.

"Raphaela!" Clare yelled. Then she looked at Irene who still had her sword. "Irene run!"

Irene used the quick sword and cut the ribbons that were holding her.

"Warn the others!" Clare yelled.

Irene ran out of the cave and Dauf almost fallowed her but Riful stopped him. "No Dauf we have what I wanted."

Irene ran out of the cave and saw Raki, Clarice, and Miata standing around.

"What happened?!" Raki yelled.

"No time to talk! Lets go, we have to warn Miria and the others!" Irene yelled making them run with her.

"About what?!" Raki yelled.

Irene didn't answer him, she felt tears starting to run down her face.

* * *

Clare was now in a different room her arms and legs were chained and she was hanging in the air next to another warrior with dreadlocks.

"I take it you are Lune?" Clare asked.

Lune looked at Clare. "How do you know my name I don't know you." She said weakly. "Who are you?"

"Someone who should have died a long time ago." Clare said.

"Oh don't say that." Riful said sadly.

"Can I have this one too." Dauf said as they both looked up at them.

"No this one is mine I already gave you that other one as a plaything." Riful said pointing at Lune and Clare.

"Now put some poles in Clare!" Riful demanded.

Clare's eyes widened as she watched Dauf take some poles out of his body. "Oh shit!" Clare thought.

"Hey trying to act tough?" Dauf asked.

Clare didn't respond. All she could do was yell in pain as Dauf started to thrust poles into her body. One after the other, Clare thought she would pass out from all the pain. She watched blood drip out of her body, soon he put one in her right leg. Clare screamed, she felt tears dripping down her face.

"Hey are you sure this one is strong?" Dauf asked.

"Yes just twist your poles around in her now, you already have eight in her." Riful said.

Clare let out another agonizing scream of pain that even made Lune look away. "Oh come now Clare you can do it, I can feel your yoki starting to flow now. You will awaken soon."

"No never!" Clare yelled coughing up blood.

"Shut up! No one told you to talk back to my lady!" Dauf yelled shoving another pole in her.

Clare screamed, he chose to stick another pole up in between her legs.

"DAUF! How dare you! I did not say put one there!" Riful yelled.

Clare felt herself getting dizzy, her vision blurred, and soon enough she was out.

"See now look what you've done." Riful yelled.

"Hey I had to shut the bitch up somehow!" Dauf yelled.

"Oh well mabye this could work to our advantage." Riful said. "Dauf you know how awakening feels pleasurable right? Mabye you can use that pole that you just put in her down there to help her awaken a little bit."

Dauf smiled. "Oh pain and pleasure, I see Riful you are smart."

"These people are sick." Lune thought.

Several hours later Clare woke up and she was in the most pain she had ever been in. She moaned and opened her eyes, to her horror she was still in the same place. Lune looked at her, Lune was terrified at what was happening right next to her.

"Oh your finally up. Come on now Clare if you don't awaken you will die." Riful said pointing to her.

"Fuck... You..." Clare was barely able to say, once she spoke blood poored out of her mouth.

"Dauf you know what to do." Riful said.

Dauf walked up to Clare and grabbed the pole that was inbetween her legs and started to thrust it back and forth. Clare moaned, she closed her eyes and looked away.

"It seems to be working Dauf, I can feel her yoki starting to flow more rapidly. Now keep doing that and add another pole." Riful said.

Dauf stuck another pole in Clare's body. Clare screamed and moaned, she couldn't feel her legs anymore or her arms.

"Damn this sick fucking bastard!" Clare thought. "He's actually bringing me pleasure as he tortures me." She thought as she tried not to look at Dauf's sick gaze.

"Hmm stick another one in her, but in the other hole behind the one in between her legs. I have a feeling that will do it." Riful said enjoying the show.

"Yes Riful." Dauf said sticking one in there.

Clare's eyes opened and she screamed. "This has turned from torture to some sick and demented sex show!" She thought screaming as loud as she could.

Very soon Clare felt her insides change and she screamed again.

"Its working Riful!" Dauf yelled.

Lune looked at Clare in horror as she started to transform.

"Yes thats it don't be afraid." Riful said.

Clare's arms turned into mutiple claws and cut the chains that kept her bound.

"I... I can't stop myelf!" Clare yelled as her legs transformed, now she looked like the time she did when she fought Rigaldo. Only this time her body changed, it grew wings like a bats, and her head looked like a lizards now. Her skin became scaley.

"Oh so this is her awakened form? Its very strong indeed." Riful said.

Lune was shocked.

"Why don't you test her out Dauf." Riful said.

Dauf transformed and attacked Clare. Only in an instant Clare stopped Dauf with her blades and dug them into his face. Clare growed in anger and forced his head apart.

"DAUF!" Riful yelled watching him die. "How dare you kill him you monster!" She yelled turning into her awakened form.

She attacked Clare with her ribbons but Clare blocked it with her blades, her blades kept on mutiplying. Riful wondered how many Clare was going to have.

"No! I won't lose to you! I'll awaken Lune and she'll help me take care of you!" Riful yelled.

Clare growed. "How dare you do this to me!"

Clare attacked Riful cutting Riful's arms off.

"What she's that fast?" Riful thought watching her arms fall off.

"DIE!" Clare yelled attacking Riful again and throwing her into the wall which made the building start to collapse. "I'll kill you just as fast as I killed Dauf!"

Riful tried to get up and for some reason she reverted back to her human form. "What?!" She yelled noticing that it was Lune that did that. "You bitch!" Riful looked over to Clare but she was gone. "Where is she?!"

Then Clare appeared behind Riful. Riful for the first time was afraid, she shook in her spot and Clare cut her up into pieces ending Riful's long life.

Clare stood up and started to revert back to her human form. She looked at herself, confused and covered in blood. She noticed her hair had gone back to its brown colour.

"So this is what its like to be an awakened being." Clare thought looking up and wiping blood off of her naked body. "It feels good." She said, then she noticed Lune looking at her as scarred as ever.

"Oh its you, thank you for helping me. I'm very hungry but don't worry I won't eat you." Clare said her personality completly different from before.

She let Lune down from her bounds. "Try to live a nice life now." Clare said and walked away.

Lune watched in horror as Clare left her.

Clare went back to the room she was captured in and picked up her sword along with her overcoat which fell off when she was captured. She saw Jean's decapitated body on the ground and walked up to it.

"I'll miss you Jean.... I loved you." Clare said kneeling down and cutting Jean's torso open. "In a way you will always be with me." She said putting her hand in the cold bloody body of what was left of Jean and pulling out her innards. Clare made a quick snack out of her former friend and lover.

She left the place and threw her overcoat on now heading towards Easily's direction which would be near Rabona.

* * *

A few weeks later in Rabona. Irene had told Miria what had happened but Miria didn't want to go to Riful's. Galatea was sencing what had happened and said that Riful's yoki went away along with Dauf's. They figured that Clare had killed them somehow and was probably on her way to find the rest of the ghosts. She was looking for them alright but she might not be so friendly to them as before.

All of the ghosts along with Raki now had left Rabona to find Easily. Galatea and Tabitha said that they could sence him moving around the west close to Rabona, he probably wondered what had happened to Riful.

Out west

"Hmm I guess this makes me the most powerful being alive." Easily said, sencing something. "But whats this? I feel someone else that is very powerful and she is coming my way. Its a woman alright she must have been the one that kill Riful." He thought looking at the field around him and the far away forests, and the even farther away mountains.

---------------------------------------------------
To be continued in the final chapter.

I will try to have the last chapter up tomorrow hopefully. I don't want to get all busy and tangled up like I was for the last few weeks and keep putting it off like I did with this one but oh well thats life I guess.

[shelter]

@Yosei:
For lack of a better word, I think the latest chapter with Raki is both insightful & unconventional. I remember mentioning that Raki should have some more story exposure & the events (no matter how trivial) in your story illustrate the new ground that we're treading on.

There's absolutely no way in canon that Raki would get a chance to meet either Irene or Galatea - or, even in the case of Helen, to address & view them as equals or rivals. That's the flaw of the Raki in canon: a bit too acquiescent, accommodating, sometimes too awe-struck, even by a warrior with dreadlocks So when you show Raki conversing with Irene & Galatea (it's a good choice of characters to meet outside the tavern) you bring across his perceptive-ness and, to the dismay of all who dislike Raki, his potential.

I'm really curious as to how the next chapter will interpret the Raki/ Clare fight. That he is male is already a bit awkward, but that everyone dislikes him makes it even more touchy.

I don't consider myself a vocal Raki fan, but if you are writing the next chapter, Yosei, here's an opportunity to show how a spar between 2 underdogs can end up.


@Hell:
Chapter 10 needs some polishing up for grammar & spelling. But I liked the way your story turned out Killing off 2 main characters seemed a good move: it didn't feel so fast - maybe because I've always thought that those 2 were invincible. So seeing them die is - a good way to let off steam

Also, the scene between Dauf & Clare is enough to get a R21++ rating. But I think, for the first time in a long time, you handled it deceptively well - very metaphorical, visual but not an overload of descriptions & suggestive enough to be relevant to the story. Although I wish you could stop repeating "Clare screamed" so many times, it's a scene that I think a lot of Claymore fans have in their heads, but none have the courage to actually put on paper

[Yosei]

@ Hell: Will read your chapter and give you a proper review when I'm not so brain-dead. :P

@ Shelter: I'm still around, but I'm taking a break. I've set up the story so that the next storyline chapter will be about Clare vs. Raki, and then, leading up all the way to the final fight between Clare and Priscilla. Personally, I don't mind if someone writes the next chapter.

Sigh... Raki might actually become a respectable character to others thanks to this AU... the Raki who should've been.