Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by sniperk

I agree with you except for one point. I'm not a SubaTea fan (my ship with Teana is EXTREMELY odd, so I'll not even point it out), and since the beginning of the fic I got that vibe. Though, as Dezo pointed out, it could be bias speaking about relantionship vs. romantic relantionship.

Extremely odd, eh? Sniperk, you do realise you have to tells us now, right?

Anyways, I said it was easy for anyone to make that conclusion, it's just even easier for SubaTea fans to see what they want. It basically boils down to "Both Subaru and Teana are single, and are now on good terms with each other", thus leaving the possibility of them hooking up open. The only real way to solve this is to have either Subaru or Teana (maybe both) in romantic relationships with other people when they meet up again.

[sniperk]

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

Extremely odd, eh? Sniperk, you do realise you have to tells us now, right?

I do. And I will. Someday when I get down to write the fic about it.

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

Anyways, I said it was easy for anyone to make that conclusion, it's just even easier for SubaTea fans to see what they want. It basically boils down to "Both Subaru and Teana are single, and are now on good terms with each other", thus leaving the possibility of them hooking up open. The only real way to solve this is to have either Subaru or Teana (maybe both) in romantic relationships with other people when they meet up again.

Even then it isn't certain. (Again, the bias speaking louder in my ear)

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

Anyways, I said it was easy for anyone to make that conclusion, it's just even easier for SubaTea fans to see what they want. It basically boils down to "Both Subaru and Teana are single, and are now on good terms with each other", thus leaving the possibility of them hooking up open. The only real way to solve this is to have either Subaru or Teana (maybe both) in romantic relationships with other people when they meet up again.

I'd like to point out that Subaru was in fact in a romantic relationship with a girl named Dawn, and they'd been together for quite awhile; though they broke up when Subaru went to visit Teana because of misunderstandings, and I doubt Subaru would go back to her. And besides, after a divorce I can't see Teana as the type to go back into a relationship until some time has passed, since the divorce seems to be relatively recent in the epilogue.

[00-Raiser]

I know, but still. The only way I think that the ending could have given the vibe of "Teana and Subaru become friends again, but nothing more" is if one of them were dating some one else.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

I know, but still. The only way I think that the ending could have given the vibe of "Teana and Subaru become friends again, but nothing more" is if one of them were dating some one else.

And the problem with going that route was that there was no way it could have worked. I highly doubt Subaru would go back to someone who thought she was cheating when she just wanted to see a friend, and IMO for Teana the divorce was still too fresh. Besides, who says they won't date other people after? In the end it's all up to interpretation.

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

In the end it's all up to interpretation.

You're right, it is and I have no problem with that. However, deathcurse's intent was for Teana to get neither of them, so she kind of failed to get that feeling across.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

You're right, it is and I have no problem with that. However, deathcurse's intent was for Teana to get neither of them, so she kind of failed to get that feeling across.

I personally felt Deathcurse did a great job getting that feeling across. In the end it isn't something she can control; the ending is what it is based off the interpretation of the people who read it. She has no control over that. To say she "failed" at something when it all comes down to how people interpret it is hardly a valid argument.

[00-Raiser]

But there are ways to control how a reader interprets things, as well as ways to leave no room for interpretation. Like, maybe Teana joined the St Church and took of a vow of celibacy? That would certainly qualsh any couple potential

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

But there are ways to control how a reader interprets things, as well as ways to leave no room for interpretation. Like, maybe Teana joined the St Church and took of a vow of celibacy? That would certainly qualsh any couple potential

And why would she do that?

The problem is that there is no reason for Teana and Subaru to be in relationships at this point; absolutely none. It's not important to the characters, or to the story itself. There's no reason for Teana to take a vow of celibacy, unless you want to imply that her marriage with Vice got so bad that she never wanted sex again.

[Rising Dragon]

I dunno... there any proof that the Saint Church requires such vows?

[00-Raiser]

It was just a joke to lighten the mood >_<

Considering how it's stated that the Saint Church is a flexible religion, I doubt they'd require such vows.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

It was just a joke to lighten the mood >_<

Considering how it's stated that the Saint Church is a flexible religion, I doubt they'd require such vows.

You still really have to consider the implications, even with a joke like that. I mean, having her take any vow of abstinence means that Vice was so bad in bed that she didn't want anymore sex.

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

You still really have to consider the implications, even with a joke like that. I mean, having her take any vow of abstinence means that Vice was so bad in bed that she didn't want anymore sex.

Or maybe he was so amazing it totally blew her mind, so she's too scared to have sex again

[Rising Dragon]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Weird question here....

A while ago I did a ficlet where Syn was dressed in a boy's uniform and girls were fawning over her.... Does anyone know what story that was or what I could search for to find it? I've tried several different words that I remember but no luck T_T

I believe you're looking for this: http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost...ostcount=23714

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by Rising Dragon

I believe you're looking for this: http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost...ostcount=23714

Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *hugs*

[deathcurse]

Alright, I did a bit of fiddling, and wrote up a new section that will hopefully get rid of some of the vagueness .

It's a flashback scene, and I copied the scene right before it to give it some context ^^.

Spoiler for New scene in Long Time No See:

“Tea—AAAAAAAAAH!”

Ginga and Genya burst into laughter as they watched the waving Subaru disappear under an ambush from her adoptive sisters, causing a pile-up in the middle of the gate entrance. Teana struggled with her expression before laughing as well, looking fondly at the ruckus the Nakajimas were causing in the gateport. She swallowed her nervousness and walked over behind Ginga as they two of them rescued Subaru from the heap.

“Got you!” Nove crowed. “What happened to the super-training you were bragging about, huh?”

“Just imagine if we were pirates!” teased Wendi, poking Subaru’s side.

“You guys got me!” Subaru laughed as Ginga pulled her to her feet. She wrapped an arm around Dieci and Wendi and pulled them to the side, out of the way of the other passengers. “All of you guys came!”

“As if we would miss your homecoming!” Ginga hugged her, prompting a giant group hug. “You’re finally home!”

“Home to stay,” Subaru smiled, and spotted Genya. “Dad!” She enveloped him in a hug that Teana noticed wasn’t as exuberant as the one she gave her sisters.

“Are you treating me like an old man?” Genya demanded, his grey eyebrow jumping dangerously as his eyes twinkled. “Give me a proper hug, now!” He squeezed her tightly, and guffawed as Subaru returned the favour. “I’m glad you’re home, Subaru.”

“It’s been a while, Dad,” Subaru whispered, her shaky tone underlining her understatement. When they let go of each other Subaru turned to look at Teana, standing slightly awkwardly to the side, uncertain whether she should have joined in or stepped aside to let the family reunion happen without intruding.

Subaru crossed the distance between them and carefully put her arms around Teana, hugging her gently.

“Long time no see, Tea,” Subaru whispered softly into her ear.

***

“So, one more day left…nervous?”

Teana huffed and glared at Alto. “Nervous? Why would I be nervous?”

Alto chuckled, unoffended. She took a bite from her sandwich, munching cheerfully. The deli they were at was a favourite of theirs, Alto having discovered it a few years ago and gotten Teana hooked onto the house salad ages ago as well. Every now and then they liked to meet up here and catch up together. “Well, it’s been a while since you two have seen each other.”

A while? Too long. Teana stabbed at her salad with her fork. “What happens, will happen. I’m not thinking too much about it.”

“Aw, come on. You’re seeing her again as a single woman…”

Flinching, Teana rolled her eyes and said quietly, “I’m not looking at the moment, you know that.” Swallowing, Teana let some of her apprehensions out and whispered, “She might not even want to be friends anymore.”

Alto opened her mouth, then checked herself. She said instead, “What do you think will be the first thing you do when you see her?”

“Stare.” She stuffed a mouthful of lettuce into her mouth and chewed.

“Then?” Alto asked, patiently amused.

“I don’t know—smack her over the head for running off without saying goodbye?” Teana grumbled, a bit more fiercely than she had intended.

Wisely, Alto let that comment slide as well. She put her sandwich down and looked somewhat nervous. “Um, I think it’s only fair to tell you…”

“What?”

Alto fidgeted and took a breath. Then took another. Finally, she confessed, “I, um, haven’t told Subaru about me and Vice yet. So in a way, I haven’t told her about you and Vice yet.” She cringed.

You didn’t tell your best friend about your new, serious relationship? Teana wanted to exclaim, but she would be a terrible hypocrite if she did. After all, she hadn’t told her best friend about her ending her serious relationship. And it wasn’t Alto’s responsibility to do it anyways, Teana sighed to herself.

She ended up saying, “I…can see where it might be a little awkward for you.”

Nodding fervently, Alto laughed, nervous. “I mean, I’m kind of the newcomer here, and the thought of telling Subaru makes me want to hide under the covers.”

Teana’s brows creased, and she bit her lip.

“What’s wrong?” Alto asked, concerned.

She debated waving off the question, but sighed in defeat. Reluctantly, she said, “I was just…just thinking about myself when I was younger.” She sighed. “It’s not fair that I ruined so many years of your life…and Vice’s, and Subaru’s.” Teana sighed, poking morosely at her croutons. She didn’t want to drag the mood down, so she forced a lighter tone into her voice. “I mean, if only I had known my own mind and owned some guts when I was young, you know?”

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” Alto replied. She smiled gently, reaching over to pat Teana’s hand. “If you really want to make it up to us, then you’ll keep doing what’s you’re doing now.”

“I will,” promised Teana, looking down. As hard as she knew it would be, she owed it to all of them to suck it up and rebuild the parts of her life she had let go of long ago. She had Alto’s friendship, and Vice had become one of her closest, dearest friends.

But she still had one more mountain to climb.

Just one more day.

I also tweaked the ending .

Spoiler for New ending:

“Are you sure about that?” Subaru asked, a glint of her old childish humour reappearing in her eyes. Grinning broadly, she chuckled and winked, her green eyes merry. “Last time we became friends, I fell in love with you, you know.”

For a moment, an awkward pause hung between them as Teana worked through how to respond to that.

Then she laughed, tossing her head in amusement. She missed that—what a Subaru-thing to say! “I’m sure we’ll be fine. I survived you the first time, didn’t I?”

Things couldn’t be the same as they were before. But maybe they could have a better friendship this time around.

“So Subaru, want to be my friend?”

Hopefully, it'll give a different perspective on Subaru and Teana's interaction , and push that friendship angle more...

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by deathcurse

Alright, I did a bit of fiddling, and wrote up a new section that will hopefully get rid of some of the vagueness .

It's a flashback scene, and I copied the scene right before it to give it some context ^^.

Spoiler for New scene in Long Time No See:

“Tea—AAAAAAAAAH!”

Ginga and Genya burst into laughter as they watched the waving Subaru disappear under an ambush from her adoptive sisters, causing a pile-up in the middle of the gate entrance. Teana struggled with her expression before laughing as well, looking fondly at the ruckus the Nakajimas were causing in the gateport. She swallowed her nervousness and walked over behind Ginga as they two of them rescued Subaru from the heap.

“Got you!” Nove crowed. “What happened to the super-training you were bragging about, huh?”

“Just imagine if we were pirates!” teased Wendi, poking Subaru’s side.

“You guys got me!” Subaru laughed as Ginga pulled her to her feet. She wrapped an arm around Dieci and Wendi and pulled them to the side, out of the way of the other passengers. “All of you guys came!”

“As if we would miss your homecoming!” Ginga hugged her, prompting a giant group hug. “You’re finally home!”

“Home to stay,” Subaru smiled, and spotted Genya. “Dad!” She enveloped him in a hug that Teana noticed wasn’t as exuberant as the one she gave her sisters.

“Are you treating me like an old man?” Genya demanded, his grey eyebrow jumping dangerously as his eyes twinkled. “Give me a proper hug, now!” He squeezed her tightly, and guffawed as Subaru returned the favour. “I’m glad you’re home, Subaru.”

“It’s been a while, Dad,” Subaru whispered, her shaky tone underlining her understatement. When they let go of each other Subaru turned to look at Teana, standing slightly awkwardly to the side, uncertain whether she should have joined in or stepped aside to let the family reunion happen without intruding.

Subaru crossed the distance between them and carefully put her arms around Teana, hugging her gently.

“Long time no see, Tea,” Subaru whispered softly into her ear.

***

“So, one more day left…nervous?”

Teana huffed and glared at Alto. “Nervous? Why would I be nervous?”

Alto chuckled, unoffended. She took a bite from her sandwich, munching cheerfully. The deli they were at was a favourite of theirs, Alto having discovered it a few years ago and gotten Teana hooked onto the house salad ages ago as well. Every now and then they liked to meet up here and catch up together. “Well, it’s been a while since you two have seen each other.”

A while? Too long. Teana stabbed at her salad with her fork. “What happens, will happen. I’m not thinking too much about it.”

“Aw, come on. You’re seeing her again as a single woman…”

Flinching, Teana rolled her eyes and said quietly, “I’m not looking at the moment, you know that.” Swallowing, Teana let some of her apprehensions out and whispered, “She might not even want to be friends anymore.”

Alto opened her mouth, then checked herself. She said instead, “What do you think will be the first thing you do when you see her?”

“Stare.” She stuffed a mouthful of lettuce into her mouth and chewed.

“Then?” Alto asked, patiently amused.

“I don’t know—smack her over the head for running off without saying goodbye?” Teana grumbled, a bit more fiercely than she had intended.

Wisely, Alto let that comment slide as well. She put her sandwich down and looked somewhat nervous. “Um, I think it’s only fair to tell you…”

“What?”

Alto fidgeted and took a breath. Then took another. Finally, she confessed, “I, um, haven’t told Subaru about me and Vice yet. So in a way, I haven’t told her about you and Vice yet.” She cringed.

You didn’t tell your best friend about your new, serious relationship? Teana wanted to exclaim, but she would be a terrible hypocrite if she did. After all, she hadn’t told her best friend about her ending her serious relationship. And it wasn’t Alto’s responsibility to do it anyways, Teana sighed to herself.

She ended up saying, “I…can see where it might be a little awkward for you.”

Nodding fervently, Alto laughed, nervous. “I mean, I’m kind of the newcomer here, and the thought of telling Subaru makes me want to hide under the covers.”

Teana’s brows creased, and she bit her lip.

“What’s wrong?” Alto asked, concerned.

She debated waving off the question, but sighed in defeat. Reluctantly, she said, “I was just…just thinking about myself when I was younger.” She sighed. “It’s not fair that I ruined so many years of your life…and Vice’s, and Subaru’s.” Teana sighed, poking morosely at her croutons. She didn’t want to drag the mood down, so she forced a lighter tone into her voice. “I mean, if only I had known my own mind and owned some guts when I was young, you know?”

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” Alto replied. She smiled gently, reaching over to pat Teana’s hand. “If you really want to make it up to us, then you’ll keep doing what’s you’re doing now.”

“I will,” promised Teana, looking down. As hard as she knew it would be, she owed it to all of them to suck it up and rebuild the parts of her life she had let go of long ago. She had Alto’s friendship, and Vice had become one of her closest, dearest friends.

But she still had one more mountain to climb.

Just one more day.

I also tweaked the ending .

Spoiler for New ending:

“Are you sure about that?” Subaru asked, a glint of her old childish humour reappearing in her eyes. Grinning broadly, she chuckled and winked, her green eyes merry. “Last time we became friends, I fell in love with you, you know.”

For a moment, an awkward pause hung between them as Teana worked through how to respond to that.

Then she laughed, tossing her head in amusement. She missed that—what a Subaru-thing to say! “I’m sure we’ll be fine. I survived you the first time, didn’t I?”

Things couldn’t be the same as they were before. But maybe they could have a better friendship this time around.

“So Subaru, want to be my friend?”

Hopefully, it'll give a different perspective on Subaru and Teana's interaction , and push that friendship angle more...

Heh, I like. The interaction between Alto and Teana is very nice, friendly but at times a little awkward, which is really what you would expect considering what point Teana is at with her life at this moment. It's also very sweet to see how uncertain she is about seeing Subaru; that she wants to see her, but at the same time she knows things will be different because they've both changed. It's also nice to see her acknowledge that yes, she messed up, and she should have had the guts.

And on the ending.... personally, I like it, but either way I think you're going to have no choice over how people interpret the ending. It's just something that will happen regardless of what you do either way.

[sniperk]

Originally Posted by deathcurse

Alright, I did a bit of fiddling, and wrote up a new section that will hopefully get rid of some of the vagueness .

It's a flashback scene, and I copied the scene right before it to give it some context ^^.

Spoiler for New scene in Long Time No See:

“Tea—AAAAAAAAAH!”

Ginga and Genya burst into laughter as they watched the waving Subaru disappear under an ambush from her adoptive sisters, causing a pile-up in the middle of the gate entrance. Teana struggled with her expression before laughing as well, looking fondly at the ruckus the Nakajimas were causing in the gateport. She swallowed her nervousness and walked over behind Ginga as they two of them rescued Subaru from the heap.

“Got you!” Nove crowed. “What happened to the super-training you were bragging about, huh?”

“Just imagine if we were pirates!” teased Wendi, poking Subaru’s side.

“You guys got me!” Subaru laughed as Ginga pulled her to her feet. She wrapped an arm around Dieci and Wendi and pulled them to the side, out of the way of the other passengers. “All of you guys came!”

“As if we would miss your homecoming!” Ginga hugged her, prompting a giant group hug. “You’re finally home!”

“Home to stay,” Subaru smiled, and spotted Genya. “Dad!” She enveloped him in a hug that Teana noticed wasn’t as exuberant as the one she gave her sisters.

“Are you treating me like an old man?” Genya demanded, his grey eyebrow jumping dangerously as his eyes twinkled. “Give me a proper hug, now!” He squeezed her tightly, and guffawed as Subaru returned the favour. “I’m glad you’re home, Subaru.”

“It’s been a while, Dad,” Subaru whispered, her shaky tone underlining her understatement. When they let go of each other Subaru turned to look at Teana, standing slightly awkwardly to the side, uncertain whether she should have joined in or stepped aside to let the family reunion happen without intruding.

Subaru crossed the distance between them and carefully put her arms around Teana, hugging her gently.

“Long time no see, Tea,” Subaru whispered softly into her ear.

***

“So, one more day left…nervous?”

Teana huffed and glared at Alto. “Nervous? Why would I be nervous?”

Alto chuckled, unoffended. She took a bite from her sandwich, munching cheerfully. The deli they were at was a favourite of theirs, Alto having discovered it a few years ago and gotten Teana hooked onto the house salad ages ago as well. Every now and then they liked to meet up here and catch up together. “Well, it’s been a while since you two have seen each other.”

A while? Too long. Teana stabbed at her salad with her fork. “What happens, will happen. I’m not thinking too much about it.”

“Aw, come on. You’re seeing her again as a single woman…”

Flinching, Teana rolled her eyes and said quietly, “I’m not looking at the moment, you know that.” Swallowing, Teana let some of her apprehensions out and whispered, “She might not even want to be friends anymore.”

Alto opened her mouth, then checked herself. She said instead, “What do you think will be the first thing you do when you see her?”

“Stare.” She stuffed a mouthful of lettuce into her mouth and chewed.

“Then?” Alto asked, patiently amused.

“I don’t know—smack her over the head for running off without saying goodbye?” Teana grumbled, a bit more fiercely than she had intended.

Wisely, Alto let that comment slide as well. She put her sandwich down and looked somewhat nervous. “Um, I think it’s only fair to tell you…”

“What?”

Alto fidgeted and took a breath. Then took another. Finally, she confessed, “I, um, haven’t told Subaru about me and Vice yet. So in a way, I haven’t told her about you and Vice yet.” She cringed.

You didn’t tell your best friend about your new, serious relationship? Teana wanted to exclaim, but she would be a terrible hypocrite if she did. After all, she hadn’t told her best friend about her ending her serious relationship. And it wasn’t Alto’s responsibility to do it anyways, Teana sighed to herself.

She ended up saying, “I…can see where it might be a little awkward for you.”

Nodding fervently, Alto laughed, nervous. “I mean, I’m kind of the newcomer here, and the thought of telling Subaru makes me want to hide under the covers.”

Teana’s brows creased, and she bit her lip.

“What’s wrong?” Alto asked, concerned.

She debated waving off the question, but sighed in defeat. Reluctantly, she said, “I was just…just thinking about myself when I was younger.” She sighed. “It’s not fair that I ruined so many years of your life…and Vice’s, and Subaru’s.” Teana sighed, poking morosely at her croutons. She didn’t want to drag the mood down, so she forced a lighter tone into her voice. “I mean, if only I had known my own mind and owned some guts when I was young, you know?”

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” Alto replied. She smiled gently, reaching over to pat Teana’s hand. “If you really want to make it up to us, then you’ll keep doing what’s you’re doing now.”

“I will,” promised Teana, looking down. As hard as she knew it would be, she owed it to all of them to suck it up and rebuild the parts of her life she had let go of long ago. She had Alto’s friendship, and Vice had become one of her closest, dearest friends.

But she still had one more mountain to climb.

Just one more day.

I also tweaked the ending .

Spoiler for New ending:

“Are you sure about that?” Subaru asked, a glint of her old childish humour reappearing in her eyes. Grinning broadly, she chuckled and winked, her green eyes merry. “Last time we became friends, I fell in love with you, you know.”

For a moment, an awkward pause hung between them as Teana worked through how to respond to that.

Then she laughed, tossing her head in amusement. She missed that—what a Subaru-thing to say! “I’m sure we’ll be fine. I survived you the first time, didn’t I?”

Things couldn’t be the same as they were before. But maybe they could have a better friendship this time around.

“So Subaru, want to be my friend?”

Hopefully, it'll give a different perspective on Subaru and Teana's interaction , and push that friendship angle more...

Spoiler for Comments:

Ok... For me it was going perfectly with your intention of giving more insight on the break up and the subsequential 'going after what she missed through the years' thing until this line...

She debated waving off the question, but sighed in defeat. Reluctantly, she said, “I was just…just thinking about myself when I was younger.” She sighed. “It’s not fair that I ruined so many years of your life…and Vice’s, and Subaru’s.” Teana sighed, poking morosely at her croutons. She didn’t want to drag the mood down, so she forced a lighter tone into her voice. “I mean, if only I had known my own mind and owned some guts when I was young, you know?”

I don't know if it was just me, but it felt like she was saying she was sorry for 'ruining' the lifes of their friends, but deep down she was more sorry for the wrong decisions that she made, and in between the lines, with that in mind, I kinda read it as if she was sorry for making the wrong choice between Vice and Subaru.

With that in mind, the new ending felt somewhat forced. As I said, maybe it was just me.

Edit:

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

And on the ending.... personally, I like it, but either way I think you're going to have no choice over how people interpret the ending. It's just something that will happen regardless of what you do either way.

I got to agree with RB here. Heck, all my comments were my interpretations on it. Just pick what you feel is the right one and stick with it.

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by deathcurse

Alright, I did a bit of fiddling, and wrote up a new section that will hopefully get rid of some of the vagueness .

It's a flashback scene, and I copied the scene right before it to give it some context ^^.

Spoiler for New scene in Long Time No See:

“Tea—AAAAAAAAAH!”

Ginga and Genya burst into laughter as they watched the waving Subaru disappear under an ambush from her adoptive sisters, causing a pile-up in the middle of the gate entrance. Teana struggled with her expression before laughing as well, looking fondly at the ruckus the Nakajimas were causing in the gateport. She swallowed her nervousness and walked over behind Ginga as they two of them rescued Subaru from the heap.

“Got you!” Nove crowed. “What happened to the super-training you were bragging about, huh?”

“Just imagine if we were pirates!” teased Wendi, poking Subaru’s side.

“You guys got me!” Subaru laughed as Ginga pulled her to her feet. She wrapped an arm around Dieci and Wendi and pulled them to the side, out of the way of the other passengers. “All of you guys came!”

“As if we would miss your homecoming!” Ginga hugged her, prompting a giant group hug. “You’re finally home!”

“Home to stay,” Subaru smiled, and spotted Genya. “Dad!” She enveloped him in a hug that Teana noticed wasn’t as exuberant as the one she gave her sisters.

“Are you treating me like an old man?” Genya demanded, his grey eyebrow jumping dangerously as his eyes twinkled. “Give me a proper hug, now!” He squeezed her tightly, and guffawed as Subaru returned the favour. “I’m glad you’re home, Subaru.”

“It’s been a while, Dad,” Subaru whispered, her shaky tone underlining her understatement. When they let go of each other Subaru turned to look at Teana, standing slightly awkwardly to the side, uncertain whether she should have joined in or stepped aside to let the family reunion happen without intruding.

Subaru crossed the distance between them and carefully put her arms around Teana, hugging her gently.

“Long time no see, Tea,” Subaru whispered softly into her ear.

***

“So, one more day left…nervous?”

Teana huffed and glared at Alto. “Nervous? Why would I be nervous?”

Alto chuckled, unoffended. She took a bite from her sandwich, munching cheerfully. The deli they were at was a favourite of theirs, Alto having discovered it a few years ago and gotten Teana hooked onto the house salad ages ago as well. Every now and then they liked to meet up here and catch up together. “Well, it’s been a while since you two have seen each other.”

A while? Too long. Teana stabbed at her salad with her fork. “What happens, will happen. I’m not thinking too much about it.”

“Aw, come on. You’re seeing her again as a single woman…”

Flinching, Teana rolled her eyes and said quietly, “I’m not looking at the moment, you know that.” Swallowing, Teana let some of her apprehensions out and whispered, “She might not even want to be friends anymore.”

Alto opened her mouth, then checked herself. She said instead, “What do you think will be the first thing you do when you see her?”

“Stare.” She stuffed a mouthful of lettuce into her mouth and chewed.

“Then?” Alto asked, patiently amused.

“I don’t know—smack her over the head for running off without saying goodbye?” Teana grumbled, a bit more fiercely than she had intended.

Wisely, Alto let that comment slide as well. She put her sandwich down and looked somewhat nervous. “Um, I think it’s only fair to tell you…”

“What?”

Alto fidgeted and took a breath. Then took another. Finally, she confessed, “I, um, haven’t told Subaru about me and Vice yet. So in a way, I haven’t told her about you and Vice yet.” She cringed.

You didn’t tell your best friend about your new, serious relationship? Teana wanted to exclaim, but she would be a terrible hypocrite if she did. After all, she hadn’t told her best friend about her ending her serious relationship. And it wasn’t Alto’s responsibility to do it anyways, Teana sighed to herself.

She ended up saying, “I…can see where it might be a little awkward for you.”

Nodding fervently, Alto laughed, nervous. “I mean, I’m kind of the newcomer here, and the thought of telling Subaru makes me want to hide under the covers.”

Teana’s brows creased, and she bit her lip.

“What’s wrong?” Alto asked, concerned.

She debated waving off the question, but sighed in defeat. Reluctantly, she said, “I was just…just thinking about myself when I was younger.” She sighed. “It’s not fair that I ruined so many years of your life…and Vice’s, and Subaru’s.” Teana sighed, poking morosely at her croutons. She didn’t want to drag the mood down, so she forced a lighter tone into her voice. “I mean, if only I had known my own mind and owned some guts when I was young, you know?”

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” Alto replied. She smiled gently, reaching over to pat Teana’s hand. “If you really want to make it up to us, then you’ll keep doing what’s you’re doing now.”

“I will,” promised Teana, looking down. As hard as she knew it would be, she owed it to all of them to suck it up and rebuild the parts of her life she had let go of long ago. She had Alto’s friendship, and Vice had become one of her closest, dearest friends.

But she still had one more mountain to climb.

Just one more day.

I also tweaked the ending .

Spoiler for New ending:

“Are you sure about that?” Subaru asked, a glint of her old childish humour reappearing in her eyes. Grinning broadly, she chuckled and winked, her green eyes merry. “Last time we became friends, I fell in love with you, you know.”

For a moment, an awkward pause hung between them as Teana worked through how to respond to that.

Then she laughed, tossing her head in amusement. She missed that—what a Subaru-thing to say! “I’m sure we’ll be fine. I survived you the first time, didn’t I?”

Things couldn’t be the same as they were before. But maybe they could have a better friendship this time around.

“So Subaru, want to be my friend?”

Hopefully, it'll give a different perspective on Subaru and Teana's interaction , and push that friendship angle more...

The scene with Alto is nice *nods* Good addition.

The added line to the ending... hmm... I dunno, if anything I think it makes the possibility of Subaru falling for her again even more valid since Teana had to stop and consider it. I think you should emphasize that it was just a joke and they both understand it won't actually happen.

But now that I look at it again, having the narrator say "maybe they could have a better friendship this time around" does a good job of emphasizing the friendship part, since it's basically Voice of God. Maybe adding "even though they won't be anything more" would be good.

[DezoPenguin]

EDIT: I utterly cannot believe how much changed since I started typing up this post! I swear, I got ninja'd by eight posts including an updated version of the story I'm commenting about! *facepalm*

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

Extremely odd, eh? Sniperk, you do realise you have to tells us now, right?

Oh, yeah--add me to that list! You can't go dropping hints like that, Sniperk!

Anyways, I said it was easy for anyone to make that conclusion, it's just even easier for SubaTea fans to see what they want. It basically boils down to "Both Subaru and Teana are single, and are now on good terms with each other", thus leaving the possibility of them hooking up open. The only real way to solve this is to have either Subaru or Teana (maybe both) in romantic relationships with other people when they meet up again.

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I'd like to point out that Subaru was in fact in a romantic relationship with a girl named Dawn, and they'd been together for quite awhile; though they broke up when Subaru went to visit Teana because of misunderstandings, and I doubt Subaru would go back to her. And besides, after a divorce I can't see Teana as the type to go back into a relationship until some time has passed, since the divorce seems to be relatively recent in the epilogue.

(She also had another romantic relationship with another girl before Dawn.) Noted, however, that it isn't necessary to hook either one of them up with one of their previous lovers (Vice or Dawn). Just that in the year and a half since the two of them broke up with their existing relationships, either could have gotten involved in a long-term, committed relationship. No need for them to go back to someone else.

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

And the problem with going that route was that there was no way it could have worked. I highly doubt Subaru would go back to someone who thought she was cheating when she just wanted to see a friend, and IMO for Teana the divorce was still too fresh. Besides, who says they won't date other people after? In the end it's all up to interpretation.

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I personally felt Deathcurse did a great job getting that feeling across. In the end it isn't something she can control; the ending is what it is based off the interpretation of the people who read it. She has no control over that. To say she "failed" at something when it all comes down to how people interpret it is hardly a valid argument.

See, the problem here is that deathcurse's author's note indicated that she was trying very strongly for an open-ended resolution (a sort of "life-goes-on" ending) in which Teana ends up with neither Vice nor Subaru. Basically, she (Tea) was indecisive, didn't understand or properly confront her own feelings for either of them, and ended up with neither one. Maybe she was commitment-shy, or maybe she, ultimately, wasn't really and truly in love with either of them. Subaru (Story 1 and 3) leaves Tea because Subaru wasn't ready to wait around for someone who didn't have anything for her. Vice (Story 3) explicitly said that he was, but eventually got tired of giving more than he was receiving in the relationship...

But the problem is that things are open to interpretation. Consider the following:

Spoiler for Stuff driving my interpretation:

--Subaru left because she wanted a clean break with Tea, to move on. She even became involved in different romantic relationships with other people. Yet when Tea was injured, eight and a half years since Subaru had last seen her, she went back to see Tea...and then she slipped out again without facing her, without even a, "Hey, buddy, I was worried about you."

--Tea has moved into Subaru's house. In essence, she's become part of Subaru's family already, though Subaru herself wasn't there.

--Neither Tea nor Subaru are seeing other people. In fact, Tea's injury served as a Dramatic Epiphany Moment whereby Tea and Subaru both ended up breaking off their relationships with other people...and neither one of them has, apparently, so much as dated anybody else in the year and a half since then. Especially odd for Tea, who supposedly "grew a pair and moved on with her life"...but didn't, in fact, move on.

--Subaru explicitly refers to Subaru falling in love with her the first time they were friends. It echoes the theme. Tea's "I survived you the first time" response emphasizes the cyclical nature of their relationship. See, the problem is, they're supposed to be starting over as adults, in a new relationship, but instead what they actually say, as opposed to Tea's thoughts, speak more to their original friendship then the supposed new one.

So what I bring away from it is the impression that Subaru never fell out of love with Teana, despite the separation, and that Tea wants to start over because this time she intends to respond to Subaru's feelings instead of stringing her along, never confronting them.

I'd also like to emphasize here that I come away with that ending not as a SubaTea shipper. On the contrary, that isn't a pairing that I like--mainly because I don't like tsundere romantic leads; Teana and Subaru being a manzai duo type of friendship works for me, but Subaru and Tea being a romantic pair leaves me cold. So it's definitely not wishful thinking (though the opposite may apply--the "please don't let it be SubaTea, please don't let it be SubaTea, please don't let it be--aw crap, it is!" I won't exonerate myself from that possibility!).

So how to fix it (if deathcurse decides that she wants to do so)?

Spoiler for Suggestions for changes:

My #1 suggestion would be to get rid of Subaru's return visit during Tea's coma. The fact that she dropped everything to come visit Tea speaks of unresolved feelings. The fact that she didn't wait around for Tea to wait up and made sure that Tea didn't even know that she was there especially suggests that. If she'd just come to visit because she was worried as a friend, she'd have left a video card or flowers or something--sneaking out so Tea didn't even know she was there is the single biggest thing in the entire story that suggests to me that Subaru still has her feelings for Tea--if she didn't have the feelings that caused her to run away to Daphne, then there wouldn't be any reason for her to continue to enforce the separation, would there? Since Subaru staying during the coma is impossible for the story structure--which centers around a new, first-time reunion--then her return visit is what could change.

My #2 suggestion would be to drop the coma entirely. It speaks too loudly of Life-Changing Epiphany Moment, especially since it changed both Tea and Subaru's lives. Shared epiphanies are the kind of thing that leads to romantic assumptions. This is not as clean a suggestion as #1, because first off there are some wonderfully evocative scenes centered around Tea's injury, and secondly because it's perfectly valid within the story structure for Tea to have a life-changing epiphany. Indeed, Tea coming to face with her own mortality is exactly the kind of kick in the pants she needed to get out of the spiral of indecision that she'd been in apparently ever since StrikerS, as wonderfully presented in "As All Good Things Must" in this series of stories.

My #3 suggestion would be to give Subaru a girlfriend. Hell, give her a wife. Why make Dawn dump her (though honestly...I can so see Dawn's point here; Dawn comes to exactly the same conclusion that I did about Subaru's feelings) at all? Tea is the one who's making the Big Life Change in this story. Subaru made her decision ten years back in story time; leaving her still single makes it look like she's been in a holding pattern all this time instead of really making her decision and growing as a person because of it. There's a ton of romance stories out there where a couple knows one another, then are separated (either by random events or their own stupidity or whatever), and come back after a number of years to get together. RadiantBeam and I have recently been discussing Nora Roberts' Black Hills, in which just that happens...Why not just make Subaru move on like she intended to do when she moved out?

My #4 suggestion would be to give Tea her own home. I can see her motivation for moving in with Subaru's family, but...seriously, it's building the ties to Subaru too closely. (Another question I'd have is why Subaru's family still lives together after ten years? Shouldn't at least some of them have moved out?) It's a peripheral matter compared to the others, but...yeah. Actually, the point about Subaru's family does tie in somewhat--Tea could, say, move in with Ginga or Cinque on a "supporting friend" basis instead of moving in with the whole Nakajima family as "part of the family."

My #5 suggestion would be to get rid of the love reference in Subaru's line at the end, but honestly, that was strictly the icing on the cake for the other stuff. If I hadn't been feeling the way I had from the other events, I'd have just taken it (as I think it was actually meant to be taken) as a joke by Subaru about all the water under the bridge between them.

Oh, and on another matter--I'd just like to say that I loved Wendi and Nove's playfulness. Wendi is the kind of girl who strikes me that she'd be silly like that right until her senior-citizen years, and the kind of relationship she and Nove has seems like the kind that just doesn't change over time even as they grow up. So I didn't find that strange or unusual at all.

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