2010-05-16, 15:21 | Link #4621 |
Counting days
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Not even close to the Caribbean anymore
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I have to admit that the glued clothes makes sense, still, if the guy does not want to sell. Having from experience how my daughters enjoy leaving their barbies and other dolls naked everywhere, which drives me insane, it would be scary to see those kinds of dolls with very... err... defined bodies lying naked around too.
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2010-05-17, 02:28 | Link #4622 |
The AnimeSuki Pet kitten
IT Support
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(for those keeping up to date with my situation)
I had a talk with him, and we have agreed to see other people. The problem had arisen where when we first started going out that we knew only s much about each other. As time went by, we discovered things about each other that we didn't really like. In particular, my moodiness, my anger management issue and the fact I dearly wanted to play uke were things he didn't like. I am happy that we had the chat and told each other what we knew. At least we are better off, no broken hearts, nobody jaded, no revenge sought. As a result, we are still friends (and will continue to push to have me dressed with paws and a tail ) I guess this also has its drawbacks. In particular, now I have to break the bad news to everyone who may ask, and now I haven't got that special someone to fall back on, in a time of crisis such as now (where I am on the brink of emotional instability). Still, gives me time to reflect and think, we only learn from our mistakes. So...any takers for a pet kitten? I don't scratch ^^
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Last edited by Haruka_Kitten; 2010-05-17 at 04:24. |
2010-05-17, 02:51 | Link #4623 |
Senior Guest
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Athens (GMT+2)
Age: 35
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I'd say you're drowning in a tea cup, if you think it over this wasn't a very long relationship, and you're still good friends anyway. Plus, now you have the freedom to seek out other people and you got out of a silent time bomb, this is pure win! So why the emotional crisis?
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2010-05-17, 03:11 | Link #4624 | |
The AnimeSuki Pet kitten
IT Support
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2010-05-17, 03:51 | Link #4626 | ||
Senior Guest
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Athens (GMT+2)
Age: 35
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2010-05-17, 04:23 | Link #4627 |
The AnimeSuki Pet kitten
IT Support
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The latter X_x, sadly. I left my home in the secure suburbs where I used to live and went to live with my dad in a rather...well....to put it nicely, a dump. Additionally, I haven't got much of my stuff (and I probably won't have it anytime soon), and mum continues to taunt and threaten me over the phone.
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2010-05-17, 05:44 | Link #4629 |
Disabled By Request
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It's pretty easy to tell just by the way they behave around you. If she's very easy to talk with about anything and she relates to what you say, then chances are that she's interested in you as a person rather than what you are on the surface. Girls who often just care for sex, looks and money don't really want to talk, they just want to have fun.
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2010-05-17, 06:45 | Link #4630 |
Protecting the Throne
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Asia Tour
Age: 32
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Some people are really really good in masking up what they're really after so you can't usually tell what they're really after til you're involved. You could always look up the background of the person. Anyways don't give yourself up completely to a person cause you never know what the future holds and what that person is really after. You could still get to know that person really well but it's not completely guaranteed that the guy/girl is really after true love. You could tell some obvious signs of course like if the person is pressuring you to do activities you don't like. There's always a sort of a little gambling everytime you go into a relationship.
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2010-05-17, 09:40 | Link #4632 |
Disabled By Request
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It depends on what you wanna get out of dating. Are you looking for someone to have a short-term relationship, or a long-term one? Are you dating that person because she's only good for a fling or something more solid? (they are not the same questions if you read carefully, one considers dating as a whole, the other considers a girl individually). You have to ask yourself those questions when you meet a girl and consider if she's dating material or not.
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2010-05-17, 09:45 | Link #4633 | ||
Test Drive
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Liar. We all know that's your favorite hobby and pastime.
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But, for example, my ex-girlfriend. I'm very calm, rational, and I tend to keep my emotions in check and I have something of a control streak. She was spontaneous, very open emotionally, and just let the wind blow. Our personalities clashed, but I liked her a lot, so I wanted to try. Granted, it didn't end well, but it was still an attempt. So, being open-minded isn't a bad thing at all. Just be willing to learn from your mistakes. Quote:
On my end of the spectrum, the cat is officially out of the bag. My mom actually told my dad about the boy I like, and yesterday while I was talking to him, my sister also found out as she came to check on me because she thought I was talking to the TV in my room. Both my mom and my sister think he's cute and has a great voice, and while my dad is a bit more reserved, he hasn't come out and said no.
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2010-05-17, 10:05 | Link #4634 | |||
Test Drive
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2010-05-17, 10:34 | Link #4635 | ||
Banned
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But yeah, once they cut you off, then you know they were just in it for themselves. Real friends/lovers/partners won't leave or forsake you; especially after they've seen the bad side of you (and everyone has a bad side). So how to tell a good one? They've never left anyone, and always want to work things out. They'll be honest with you throughout the process. They could have have had relationships that ended, but they'll keep trying to be friends at least. Even if that means telling you things you don't want to hear, heh. However, since most people are still growing throughout their twenties, the likelihood of finding a good one raises as you age, although it's not impossible to find someone earlier in life. Just unlikely. Quote:
I know at least one friend of mine said the guy she was with, she never would have considered when she was younger; and now she loves him a lot. Standards are fine, but don't try to stick to them rigidly. Use your judgment, run prospective partners by trusted friends and family to get their opinion, and you won't go in blind. And ultimately, you won't know until you actually date. |
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2010-05-17, 10:50 | Link #4636 | |
Counting days
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Not even close to the Caribbean anymore
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I think that in dating you need tolerance, but not lowering certain standards. If you are going out with a heavy drinker who gets wasted a lot, chances are that after you get married, the person will remain a heavy drinker who gets wasted a lot. What you see is most of the time what you get and it's better to know if your partner has things you can tolerate or not. My ex, for example, left his dirty socks and dirty clothes all over the place. Did it bother me? Honestly, not really. I am very patient and would simply pick all the dirty clothes and start a washing cycle. What did bother me? The abuse. That, I couldn't handle and no one in his/her right mind should attempt living with an abuser for the rest of his/her life. That's an example of what can be tolerated and what not. Of course, not everyone can tolerate dirty clothes around the place. That is just me and of course, I'm very glad my fiancé does not do that! One thing though, imo, standards shouldn't be too extreme. For example, would you dump a great person just because he puts the toilet paper the other way around from how you do it? Would you dump a person because he doesn't take out the toothpaste by pressing the end of the tube and does it from the middle instead? Imo, those are trivial things that can be tolerated, but that's just me.
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2010-05-17, 11:27 | Link #4638 | |
Senior Guest
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Athens (GMT+2)
Age: 35
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About standards: I'll never let go of mine, there's no way I'll date a smoker even if hell freezer over. On matters like this, it's natural disgust viewed with fanatical absolution. If it's about a girl's character, then I'll bargain...if I can get her on a path I like more while she keeps her base traits intact (that is, not being 100% Kaf-made) then I'd happily date her About sex-or-love: you can tell if they're after sex, because they'll wait patiently but never say no. People looking for love want to understand you more, so they'll ask all sorts of things and talk about themselves as well. |
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2010-05-17, 11:29 | Link #4639 | |
Frandle & Nightbag
Join Date: Oct 2009
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Having the guts to get up and leave when someone is doing you wrong is an admirable quality, and I would beg you to not confuse that and being flighty. The way you put it, being the one to leave always makes you wrong, and trying to work it out is always right...so would you apply this to an abusive relationship? How about when two people simply lose interest in each other because they had limited compatibility in the first place and they've hit the wall? Or maybe it becomes clear that you and your partner are on very different life paths. Isn't it a mark of wisdom to understand that some things cannot or should not be 'worked out' and to leave on a positive note before it ends up turning into a big mess? On the matter of 'in it for sex' vs. 'in it for love', I again raise up the standard that if you cannot trust someone enough to just give you a straight answer about their motivations, you should not even bother pursuing a relationship with that person. A relationship will serve to deepen the ties between two people, but it's all rather pointless to try deepening trust if there's so little in place to begin with.
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Last edited by Ricky Controversy; 2010-05-17 at 13:56. |
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2010-05-17, 12:32 | Link #4640 | |||
NYAAAAHAAANNNNN~
Join Date: Nov 2007
Age: 35
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Sorry Arbitres. No. I am straight.
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Trust me, I have been through the army, and I have seen those who keep their emotions in check all the time end up screwing up everything they do, especially time-relative combat drills like CQB. They get the first step right, and everything else later wrong. And funny thing is, they rinse, wash and repeat, so we end up doing push-ups all the time because these nuts pack their emotions in. Emotions are created by your brain and therefore drive your thoughts, therefore the direction you put it in says the rest. Besides we live in a human world, so there's nothing wrong with sharing our emotions with others. But don't share the same one all the time, how would you like it if the entire packet of M&Ms you bought was blue? Quote:
I wasn't actually surprised that your dad had his doubts because you are a girl, and he was probably worried that the guy would cajole you into doing it. Similarly, on my side, my sis and mum were worried initially when I first brought Miss Tsun home (around 4 years ago) to help repair her laptop, and I still remember my mum was peeking into my room every few minutes that I wasn't doing anything to that girl. Of course, it was a disaster when they chatted each other up. My mum urged me to chase her, and suggested that maybe if I have a girlfriend like her, I would stop getting into trouble in school (as we all know, Miss Tsun said no because she had siscon tendencies ).
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Tags |
advice, break-ups, dating, dating after divorce, divorce, happiness, love, pairings, single dad, single mom |
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