Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[mega1987]

Originally Posted by Nanya01

Peek's Mini-Arcs:

Yagami Mid Four Dwell Takamachi Scrya Fatherhood Harlaown Dreams Dance Healing Twins Advice History Onwards Cycle Playdate Forging Meetings Search

BTF Omakes:

Old Iron Omakes 1, 2, 3 Mr Snuggles Omake Oh Bandit Tree Old Iron Omakes 4, 5

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - Valkyrie Start:

Valkyrie Start

Sein panted as she slid across the floor, somehow remaining on her feet. "Is that all you got?!" She yelled at her assailants, taunting them. Unlike her normal outfit, she was in a pitch-black body suit that had some sort of sash around her waist, a dark colored gem, that was located in the middle of her chest, surrounded by a metal armor band that surrounded her body and hooked over her shoulders to stay up, glowed softly while a round disk on her left arm expanded in size, becoming a shield that Sein held in front of her as green energy slammed into it at high speeds, forcing her back across the ground.

"Really, Sein," the blue-green haired girl looked over her shield to see Tre walk into the light, her eyes narrowed at the shorter, more petite cyborg, "did you really think you could escape this?"

Sein smirked as a short metal stick appeared in her right hand. "Can't blame me for trying, can you?" Her back lit up as six thin, but glowing brightly, wings formed on her back and allowed her to float upwards. "You're not going to get me that easily."

When Tre suddenly smirked, Sein's eyes widened and she looked over her shoulder to see Sette practically standing in mid-air while holding onto two of her boomerangs. Sein knew that she could create two more and control them with a thought.

"You should just give up." Sette intoned, her eyes holding no sympathy for what was to happen next.

"How about..." Sein grinned as she seemed to disappear into a blur before reappearing in front of Sette. "No." The next thing Sein knew, Sette's knee was slamming into her stomach and forcing her back through the air. "Nnngh." That knee did hurt, but not nearly as much as it should have, considering that Sette was physically stronger than anyone. Sein had seen Sette punch holes in the sides of the walls during practice.

Considering that Tre, the next strongest of her sisters, could only dent the wall, it said something about Sette's strength.

"Slaughter Arms." Sein looked up as Sette released her boomerangs at her. As they came close, Sein knocked one away with her shield before slashing at the other one, causing them to fall down.

"Is that..." Sein couldn't finish what she was saying as Tre's fist slammed into her cheek, rocking her head and sending her spiraling to the ground. "Oww..."

"I thought I taught you better." Tre said dispassionately as she watched Sein crash to the ground below.

After a few moments of laying still, Sein groggily sat up and rubbed her cheek. "Ugh... You nearly..." Her eyes widened as she saw Sette's metal boomerangs spinning in place. "And what..?" Sein's eyes widened as the blades seemed to fall into pieces.

"Shattering Slaughter." Sette intoned, with one hand high in the air. For some odd reason, Sein thought that Sette's pink eyes were glowing softly. When Sette dropped her hand down, the blades started to swarm and move towards and around Sein.

"Too bad you can't get under the ground." Sein grinned as she slipped under the ground through her Deep Diver. But even as she disappeared, her eyes widened as the blade slivers managed to cut deep into the ground after her. Quickly turning she glided through the ground and away from where Sette's attacks were coming from.

Up above, Tre held her hand up to Sette, who stopped her attacks and reformed her blades in their entirety. "Otto will get her and finish this off."

Sette nodded and grabbed the blades as they flew back to her. "I have to admit, Sein does make for an interesting opponent. I thought you would not be able to strike her like you did, though, considering..."

Tre's face went red and she glared at Sette. "What the heck are you talking about?!"

"Apparently nothing, as your reaction indicates that you are not involved with Sein like Wendi, Nove and Cinque have told me."

Tre twitched and made a mental note to speak with those three later.

(---)

As she got out of the ground, Sein grinned as she saw that Tre and Sette were no where to be seen. "Good." Now all she had to do was... Sein's thoughts trailed off as her hair floated upwards and the ground started to glow green. Turning, she gulped as a large green beam came rushing at her. Holding up her shield, she grunted as it pushed her down into the ground slightly.

When the energy subsided, Sein groaned and shook her arms to get feeling back into them. A moment later, she spun around and held up a short sword, which blocked a sneak attack from Deed, who was pushing down with one blade. "Sein, you really have no chance against Otto and myself."

Sein giggled softly. "Otto's pretty cute, you know. If you're not careful, someone's going to come and steal her away from all of us."

Deed narrowed her eyes and her second laser blade snapped into reality, only for Sein to zip away from her, floating along the ground backwards. "You won't escape."

"Just watch..." Sein's eyes widened as a dome of green energy surrounded her. "..me?" She let out a small shriek of fear as the dome started to get brighter and brighter. "Too bad I can..." Sein started to drop through the floor, only to jump out, rubbing her ankles. "What?"

"There will be no escape, Sein..." Otto said as she closed her fist. "Storm Overload."

Sein's last thought as the energy descended on her was 'mommy'.

Deed had to shield her eyes as the dome glowed brightly before exploding with massive energy. "Otto, are you okay?" She asked as the light dimmed and the loud explosion quieted down.

"I'm fine." Her twin said, her boyish face covered in sweat as she panted heavily. "That attack was more draining than I thought it was."

"I wouldn't use it unless you have to then." Tre said as she and Sette came upon the area. "How is she?" She nodded to Sein, who was breathing, but not moving from her position.

Deed walked over to Sein and gently kicked Sein in the butt, getting a groan from the other cyborg. "Alive and not injured too badly."

"Speak for yourself." Sein muttered and twitched. "I feel like I was slammed by three dozen Ray Storms at once."

"That's because you were." A new voice spoke up as the city scape disappeared, being replaced by a physical lab. "I have to admit, those holographic training units Quattro managed to get a hold of are really impressive." Jail smirked as he and Uno walked up to the four. "Congratulations on a job well done, all of you. How is the armor, Sein?"

"Other than being pitch black, not bad." Sein took Deed's hand and stood up. "I think I'd probably be dead if not for this."

Jail nodded at her. "Indeed. This armor, the Knight Valkyrie Armor, is what the rulers of Ancient Belka tried to emulate, with various success."

Sein scratched the back of her head. "I dunno about any of that stuff, doctor, but, it felt weird, like I could see what Sette, Deed and even Tre-nee were going to do before they did it."

Jail chuckled softly. "That's the advantage of that sash, the scarf, that you're wearing when it's connected to the heart." He pointed at the gem on her chest, which pulsated slightly.

"...Oh." Sein nodded at him. "Um... Can I go get some food?"

Jail nodded and laughed softly as the others joined Sein in leaving the training room. "Uno, make sure to get the armor from Sein."

She nodded and started walking after the others as they headed for the training room. "After all, we wouldn't want a giant rat to steal the armor and become unstoppable."

Jail just blinked and wondered where that came from.

Me: Well, the prototype (IMO) Tanks well... for now.

Val: If all it can do is tank, it's not gonna be quite useful in battle.

Odin: I'll just break that armor with a well place dimensional slash...

Elane: Headshot using a Anti-MS Rifle.

Mariemeia: Kill the pilot before she can don it.

Reia: No comment.

Iris: Same here.

Sarah: Spank her, very very hard.

Amelia: -_-"

[deathcurse]

Originally Posted by Altarian

*deep breath*

Well, here I go. Hello, AS Nanoha FFT thread. I can't exactly say I've been a long-time lurker, but I have read through about a year's worth of the most recent posts (many hundreds of pages)! I've thoroughly enjoyed seeing new fiction as well as writers' thought processes, and I especially liked getting the chance to watch the HayatexVivio Files be born and grow.

Deathcurse, your ability to play upon heartstrings is ridiculous. I really wish I could write like you. *sigh*

Shigan, I am so in love with everything you write. I was blown away by 'Flying' and it was 'The Things We Tame' that really solidified in my head how HxV might look.

Moczo, I don't think I've ever laughed as hard at a fic as I did at 'Intercom'. You are a master of written comedic timing, especially in the world of crackfic!

It's been many years since I set my hand to write fanfiction, but in the long process of reading through this thread an idea or two appeared. The first result is below. I'm not at all confident that years of writing technical reports and learning to think like an engineer haven't eroded my creative writing skills entirely, but we'll see.

For your perusal:

Spoiler for On Borrowed Time:

On Borrowed Time

Of the three of them, she'd always thought Nanoha would be the first. It was Nanoha who took the great risks, fought the impossible battles, pushed her body beyond its limits time and time again. Nanoha whose medical staff were constantly worried about the state of her Linker Core, always ordering her to get more rest.

Fate found some morbid amusement in the fact that she'd been wrong.

Initially, no one had an explanation for Fate's increasing fatigue, pain and slow loss of magical ability. Shamal had worked herself to exhaustion trying to find some solution, conducting endless tests and experimenting with countless treatments. Finally, even the medical mage admitted there was little that could be done – Fate's body was simply degrading, a result of flaws in the cloning process that had made her. Precia had failed to make a perfect copy, in more ways than one.

So it was that she now found herself staring at a familiar off-white ceiling, trying to think about her options. Fate had few illusions about her future – it was almost certain she would never leave this hospital again, and the degradation could only be delayed for so long. Her thoughts instead focused on how to handle her family and friends' reactions. She'd asked Shamal not to make the news of her illness public, preferring not to burden anyone unnecessarily or attract attention from the media.

Her closest friends had known already, of course. Yuuno and his wife had wanted to cut their expedition short and return immediately upon receiving news of her collapse, but Fate would have none of it. “If you cancel the dig halfway through, you'll never get the funding to go back. Please don't make me responsible for that”, she'd told him. He had argued a little more but finally gave in when she threatened to ask Chrono to shut down travel between Mid-Childa and the dig site.

Her brother had been easier to handle, as the Fleet Admiral did not have an excess of free time these days. He and Amy had come with their children for one visit, but otherwise their contact was limited to long-distance communication. It was enough – her brother had always understood her best when few words were spoken.

Each of the Wolkenritter visited at least once a week, sometimes together with Hayate but usually individually. Vita cheerfully related all the latest news from the training field, often complaining colorfully about the uselessness of her newest crop of cadets. Zafira sat with her and told stories of his latest adventure in babysitting – the old dog had a wicked sense of humor. Shamal fussed over her in typical doctor's fashion, but always knew when Fate wanted to rest and would subtly shoo everyone from the room. Signum hardly spoke at all. Fate knew what the Belkan knight would've said anyway, so the silence hardly mattered.

Vivio took a week's leave and spent the entire time with Fate. Fate could tell that Vivio was trying to be strong for her mama, but trembling hands and tear-bright eyes told the ex-Enforcer everything she needed to know. On the night before Vivio's leave ended, that strength finally broke. “Fate-mama, why is this happening? It's not fair!” she'd sobbed, and Fate didn't know what to tell her. All she could do was hold her daughter and whisper that she loved her, would never stop loving her.

That day was the hardest of all, and so Fate reached her decision. This couldn't go on any longer.

She waited two more days, filling her time with long-distance messages, before asking for her doctor and explaining to him what she wanted. He was, of course, hesitant, but Fate refused to take no for an answer (she hadn't spent her life around the Takamachis without learning a thing or two), and eventually he agreed to her request.

She made one more call that morning, then listened for the knock on the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Fate?” Hayate entered the room cautiously, then more confidently once she saw that her two oldest friends were smiling and chatting.

“Oh, Hayate. Come over here and sit down, there's something I want to talk to the pair of you about.” Fate smiled gently and waved her over with one hand.

There was a long pause after Hayate sat next to Nanoha. Fate simply tilted her head slightly and watched them both.

“Fate, what's going on? You're making us a little nervous...” Nanoha's directness hadn't changed even a little over the years. Fate reached out and placed one hand over Nanoha's palm, the other over Hayate's.

“...It's time, don't you think?” she said, that faint smile still on her pale face.

“Fate, no! You can't --” Hayate immediately protested, but the weight of Fate's gaze silenced her protest.

“Hayate... I haven't been able to run or fly for months. I'm dependent on this machinery. I can't even get out of bed anymore. And...” Fate sighed, her shoulders slumping. “I can't bear to see everyone worried over me. We can't continue this way.”

Hayate nodded slowly after a moment, jaw clenched. She swallowed hard, not trusting herself to speak.

“I just... wanted to thank you both,” murmured Fate, “for everything.” Fate's gaze wandered to the window and the sky beyond. “We've done pretty well for ourselves, haven't we?”

“Of course we have. We're the Three Aces!” Nanoha said, smiling brightly. Fate pretended not to notice the hitch in Nanoha's voice, or the drops falling on her hand where it covered Nanoha's.

“I have everything I could have asked for. Hayate, it's thanks to you that I've had the chance to fight for the peace and safety of others, and spent my life alongside so many dear friends. For that, I guess I can forgive you all the pranks.” Fate gave her a crooked grin. “Maybe not the groping, though.”

Hayate finally laughed at that, and squeezed Fate's hand. “It was just the once – well, that's a lie, I guess it was more like... four or five times. You really aren't ever gonna let me live that down, are you?”

“Never.”

Fate regarded Hayate warmly for a moment, then turned her eyes to Nanoha. She tugged Nanoha toward her and leaned forward until their foreheads were touching, speaking quietly now. “Nanoha. You gave me fifty years of happiness I didn't think I deserved. And you somehow managed to convince me I was worthy of those things along the way.” She smiled, the same smile as a girl on a bridge so long ago. “Thank you for my family, Nanoha. Thank you for my life.”

Fate eased back and looked down at their hands, one in each of hers. “Your hands are still so warm.”

Hayate and Nanoha surged forward simultaneously, wrapping their arms around Fate and holding on tightly. The hours that followed were full of memories as they talked of old joys and sorrows alike, just being together for a time. Much had changed in fifty years, but their friendship never would.

Eventually, there were no more words that needed to be said. She asked them both to leave her be - one last, selfish request. Soon enough the only sound was the humming of the life-support devices.

Only then did Fate reach out and run a thumb across a golden triangle on the nightstand.

“Bardiche.”

[Sir?]

“Thank you.”

[My pleasure, sir.]

...

“...Shut them down.”

[...Yes, sir.]

The room was silent.

Fate closed her eyes.

Spoiler for Notes:

Ernest Hemingway once wrote:

"Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true story-teller who would keep that from you."

I wanted to examine the idea of such an ending - far past all the other 'happy endings' of all the other stories. And yet I see this ending as happy, in a way - sure, Fate's going, but she's had a life well-lived and was able to say her goodbyes and go in peace. Originally, this was to be the first of a three-shot called "The Rule of Three", but I'm not certain I could properly do Nanoha or Hayate justice in how each of them might choose to 'exit the stage'.

I'm not certain I've quite captured the poignant moment I wanted to with this piece. It's not long at all, but there's still a certain sense of clunkiness about it - perhaps I've been spoiled by the excellent emotive work of Extrinsical and Deathcurse here. As I was editing it I considered tossing out paragraphs - and once even the entire first half - but eventually I gave up on second-guessing myself and chose to post it as you see it. The part I'm most thoroughly satisfied with is the very last bit, it says exactly what it needs to. I'm certainly open to suggestions though, I edit my work constantly.

To answer some possible questions:

What about Arf/Erio/Caro/whoever?

Agh, there are so many characters in this show! I felt like I needed to cover some of the most important relationships at least briefly, but it was so difficult to pick and choose who. In my mind, as this is quite far into the future, Arf passed away years ago - but I couldn't seem to insert a line to that effect anywhere without completely breaking the flow. I even considered dropping in a line about a small comatose puppy on Fate's lap but I felt that would ruin the imagery of the three Aces reminiscing one last time.

Why Fate?

Well, really it's because I thought Fate would be the most likely of the three of them to choose this sort of end, and face it calmly and with dignity. Nanoha's far too stubborn and too much of a fighter, and there would be too many issues and questions with the Wolkenritter for this to work with Hayate. Plus, Nanoha and Hayate both have numerous excellent shorts like this written about them already!

Anyway, that's what I have for you today. I do plan to stick around, and I swear that someday I'll find the time to watch Slayers and read Nanya's epic crossover of DOOM. I'd love some feedback on this as I attempt to gather some other plot threads together for a multi-parter which will have a very different, non-tragic feel to it.

Ciao, AS!

Hi, welcome to the board!

I'm delighted that you're enjoying the Hayate x Vivio Files . The more people hooked onto The Crack, the better! And, um, Chapter 6 is being written. Painfully slowly. School is distracting, not to mention new flashy story ideas @_@...

About the fic: I swear I've read a similar idea somewhere *scratches head*... "similar" is still original though , and this was a nice one.

The beginning really sets an interesting tone for me. It's got a kind of wry humour, especially as narrated in Fate's thoughts, but yet there's a detached calmness to it too, particularly when mentioning Precia and the cloning process. It definitely puts me on my guard--the story would either be a juxtaposition of humour and tragedy , or completely go deeply into dark, depressing tragedy! The end effect wasn't what I expected ^^.

I did go "" when I didn't see Lindy mentioned at all when Fate was going through the reactions of her family...I understand why you didn't go there, since your focus was on the Nanoha/Hayate/Fate scene, but it was still startling . Maybe you could slip a mention of Lindy into the paragraph with Chrono and Amy? Otherwise, I did find the explanations for why Fate was mostly alone in the hospital realistic--honestly, in real life, most people can't afford to drop everything in their lives for a sick family member. It's a sad truth, but life goes on and most people have to work regardless. I felt you did a great job balancing their concern for Fate with the realism of them being unable to spend their entire time by her bedside.

The Wolkenritter are cute/awesome . And the bit with Vivio made me sad for the poor girl .

The scene with Nanoha and Hayate definitely fulfills its purpose--nostalgic sadness from old friends about to lose one of their own--and the length fits...but I can't help but wish to be able to see more of the talking of "memories" that were summed up in a paragraph. You had enough dialogue leading up to it to leave it alone, but I'm greedy . I found that the summary of their last words together in narrative and not dialogue kept me from being as emotionally invested in the ending as I could have been, but nonetheless I felt for all of them by the ending .

The last lines with Bardiche were just fantastic. Short and succinct, yet they pack real emotional punches. Great job there.

Small comments on your Author's Note: I admit, I was a little disappointed not to see Arf, Erio, or Caro mentioned (I already talked about Lindy earlier), even just in passing. The scope of your fic doesn't really require them to appear, but since I know of them I can't help but expect them a little ^^.

In my head, it's hard to put the right imagery on this fic. Nanoha and company must be at least 60 years old, all of them, and yet I can't quite picture them properly. I'm stuck imagining all of them as young adults! XD

Anyway, great story, and welcome .

[Altarian]

Thanks for the feedback, everyone - I really appreciate it! ^.^

@deathcurse - Damn, I can't believe I forgot Lindy! And right after rewatching her be awesome in the movie, too. I'll throw in a line or two about her, and I'm going to alter some of the narration and dialogue to give a better impression that a lot of time has passed. It's tough to write the MGLN protagonists as older people when we're so used to seeing them young and vibrant... and blowing stuff up all the time.

[Nanya01]

Hey, look!

2 updates in one day!

Been awhile since I did that!

Peek's Mini-Arcs:

Yagami Mid Four Dwell Takamachi Scrya Fatherhood Harlaown Dreams Dance Healing Twins Advice History Onwards Cycle Playdate Forging Meetings Search

BTF Omakes:

Old Iron Omakes 1, 2, 3 Mr Snuggles Omake Oh Bandit Tree Old Iron Omakes 4, 5

Valkyrie Start

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - Peek - Valkyrie 2:

Uno looked at Jail as she handled the armor that Sein had been wearing. "Tell me something, doctor, how will this help? I understand that the defensive power cannot be denied, but even Sein got knocked out."

"By her sister, who's power has been enhanced by a Dragon, or have you forgotten?" Jail grinned at Uno as he looked at the armor pieces while holding onto the gem that made up the heart of the armor. "Besides, Sein wasn't using it to its full abilities." Uno raised an eyebrow at that.

"You sound like a bad Saturday morning cartoon villain, doctor." Uno smirked when Jail twitched. "Either that or a typical movie villain."

"Bah! You cannot even appreciate how the incredible this is!" Jail struck a pose and pointed dramatically to the ceiling.

Uno looked at the ceiling, then at Jail and blinked again. "Doctor, is there a spider up there that I do not know about?" Jail closed his eyes and gave her a disgruntled look. "Or perhaps you're on some sort of illicit drugs and are not sharing?"

Jail rolled his eyes when Uno smirked at him. "No sense of style. It's almost hard to believe that you're my clone."

Uno shrugged at him. "Well, at least you won't die a virgin, right?" When Jail sweat-dropped heavily, Uno laughed and clutched her stomach. "Th... The look on your face!"

"...Stop visiting those image boards, they're bad for your sanity."

As Uno continued to giggle and laugh, Jail rolled his eyes and picked up the Armor before leaving her there. He had other things to do right now than deal with Uno's laughter.

(---)

"Is something bothering you, Nove?" The short redhead blinked and turned to see Cinque looking at her with worry on her face.

"It's nothing." Nove said and looked back at the training area. Her eyes widened as she felt a harsh tap on her neck. "Cinque?"

"Don't lie to your big sister." The look on Cinque's face wasn't one of anger, just kindness and Nove found herself slumping down. "What's wrong?"

"I watched that fight and... What am I doing here, Cinque?"

Cinque blinked at the question. Even though she wore an eye-patch over her right eye, she didn't need it after her eye had regenerated awhile ago. However the look of black sclera and gold iris in that eye tended to make people nervous, so, she found it easier to just wear an eye patch at all times, especially since Jail had given her a modified one that had several interesting features, including the ability to allow her to see in inclement weather and in the dark with no problem. "What do you mean, Nove?"

"Of all our sisters that are front-line fighters," which excluded Uno, Due, Quattro and possibly Sein, "I... I don't..." She blinked when Cinque squeezed her shoulder. "Cinque-nee?"

"Do you doubt yourself, Nove?" The silver-haired cyborg smiled at her younger sister. Nove's face turned red and she turned away, ashamed. "You shouldn't doubt yourself. You and Tre have something special that the rest of us do not." Nove turned to look at Cinque in confusion. "You two may be cyborgs, but you're completely human. The doctor changed most of the rest of us to be more than human to fight against inhuman enemies. But there are downsides." Cinque gently reached up and pulled her eye patch off, revealing her chaos-tinted eye. "Wendi, Deed, Otto and Sette all have eyes and ears that aren't normal, and Wendi and Otto have tails on top of that. Dieci and myself have to work to control our emotions constantly." Cinque closed her eyes and hugged herself, shivering at the memory of herself going berserk on those Bureau mages. If only that woman was healed, she would apologize for the rest of her life, if only to make up for Lutecia never getting to know her mother properly.

The next thing Cinque knew, Nove was hugging her tightly. "Nove?"

"Cinque..." Nove squeezed her smaller, yet older, sister tightly with one hand on the back of Cinque's head. "I'm sorry, I was just... Jealous I guess... I just felt so weak when I saw Otto, Deed, Sette and Tre take on Sein." Cinque smiled and hugged Nove back. "But... Even if I can't fight like them, I'll fight to protect all of you. So that none of you have to go crazy and suffer again."

Cinque smiled as she rested her head on Nove's shoulder. "Then become as strong as you need to to protect us."

"I will." Nove's eyes were burning with determination as she vowed to protect her sisters as best she possibly could.

[mega1987]

Originally Posted by Nanya01

Hey, look!

2 updates in one day!

Been awhile since I did that!

Peek's Mini-Arcs:

Yagami Mid Four Dwell Takamachi Scrya Fatherhood Harlaown Dreams Dance Healing Twins Advice History Onwards Cycle Playdate Forging Meetings Search

BTF Omakes:

Old Iron Omakes 1, 2, 3 Mr Snuggles Omake Oh Bandit Tree Old Iron Omakes 4, 5

Valkyrie Start

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - Peek - Valkyrie 2:

Uno looked at Jail as she handled the armor that Sein had been wearing. "Tell me something, doctor, how will this help? I understand that the defensive power cannot be denied, but even Sein got knocked out."

"By her sister, who's power has been enhanced by a Dragon, or have you forgotten?" Jail grinned at Uno as he looked at the armor pieces while holding onto the gem that made up the heart of the armor. "Besides, Sein wasn't using it to its full abilities." Uno raised an eyebrow at that.

"You sound like a bad Saturday morning cartoon villain, doctor." Uno smirked when Jail twitched. "Either that or a typical movie villain."

"Bah! You cannot even appreciate how the incredible this is!" Jail struck a pose and pointed dramatically to the ceiling.

Uno looked at the ceiling, then at Jail and blinked again. "Doctor, is there a spider up there that I do not know about?" Jail closed his eyes and gave her a disgruntled look. "Or perhaps you're on some sort of illicit drugs and are not sharing?"

Jail rolled his eyes when Uno smirked at him. "No sense of style. It's almost hard to believe that you're my clone."

Uno shrugged at him. "Well, at least you won't die a virgin, right?" When Jail sweat-dropped heavily, Uno laughed and clutched her stomach. "Th... The look on your face!"

"...Stop visiting those image boards, they're bad for your sanity."

As Uno continued to giggle and laugh, Jail rolled his eyes and picked up the Armor before leaving her there. He had other things to do right now than deal with Uno's laughter.

(---)

"Is something bothering you, Nove?" The short redhead blinked and turned to see Cinque looking at her with worry on her face.

"It's nothing." Nove said and looked back at the training area. Her eyes widened as she felt a harsh tap on her neck. "Cinque?"

"Don't lie to your big sister." The look on Cinque's face wasn't one of anger, just kindness and Nove found herself slumping down. "What's wrong?"

"I watched that fight and... What am I doing here, Cinque?"

Cinque blinked at the question. Even though she wore an eye-patch over her right eye, she didn't need it after her eye had regenerated awhile ago. However the look of black sclera and gold iris in that eye tended to make people nervous, so, she found it easier to just wear an eye patch at all times, especially since Jail had given her a modified one that had several interesting features, including the ability to allow her to see in inclement weather and in the dark with no problem. "What do you mean, Nove?"

"Of all our sisters that are front-line fighters," which excluded Uno, Due, Quattro and possibly Sein, "I... I don't..." She blinked when Cinque squeezed her shoulder. "Cinque-nee?"

"Do you doubt yourself, Nove?" The silver-haired cyborg smiled at her younger sister. Nove's face turned red and she turned away, ashamed. "You shouldn't doubt yourself. You and Tre have something special that the rest of us do not." Nove turned to look at Cinque in confusion. "You two may be cyborgs, but you're completely human. The doctor changed most of the rest of us to be more than human to fight against inhuman enemies. But there are downsides." Cinque gently reached up and pulled her eye patch off, revealing her chaos-tinted eye. "Wendi, Deed, Otto and Sette all have eyes and ears that aren't normal, and Wendi and Otto have tails on top of that. Dieci and myself have to work to control our emotions constantly." Cinque closed her eyes and hugged herself, shivering at the memory of herself going berserk on those Bureau mages. If only that woman was healed, she would apologize for the rest of her life, if only to make up for Lutecia never getting to know her mother properly.

The next thing Cinque knew, Nove was hugging her tightly. "Nove?"

"Cinque..." Nove squeezed her smaller, yet older, sister tightly with one hand on the back of Cinque's head. "I'm sorry, I was just... Jealous I guess... I just felt so weak when I saw Otto, Deed, Sette and Tre take on Sein." Cinque smiled and hugged Nove back. "But... Even if I can't fight like them, I'll fight to protect all of you. So that none of you have to go crazy and suffer again."

Cinque smiled as she rested her head on Nove's shoulder. "Then become as strong as you need to to protect us."

"I will." Nove's eyes were burning with determination as she vowed to protect her sisters as best she possibly could.

Mariemeia: We kinda miss you doing multi-update a day, Nanya...

Odin: *snarking* Maybe his Muse have something to do with it. He looked so relaxed from the last time I've seen him.

Mariemeia: Um... When's the wedding?

Me: *Knocks Mariemeia unconscious with a knockout spray can.* Anyways... Nove still feeling out of place with her super powered sisters, no?

Reia: She should be thankful that she looks normal as a cyborg in her series can get. The rest are sore thumbs without proper concealment techniques.

Iris: No doubt her sisters, excluding Quattro, wants Nove to as normal as possible for them.

Elane: Jail and Uno... Gawd! We Need more like them.

Sarah: If that wish came thru, I'll personally perform a vasectomy to you.

[Craxuan]

Omg I have no time, almost one month left before Christmas and I'm still stuck at the early stages of Chapter 12, nooooooo.....

[Filraen]

Originally Posted by Nanya01

Hey, look!

2 updates in one day!

Been awhile since I did that!

Peek's Mini-Arcs:

Yagami Mid Four Dwell Takamachi Scrya Fatherhood Harlaown Dreams Dance Healing Twins Advice History Onwards Cycle Playdate Forging Meetings Search

BTF Omakes:

Old Iron Omakes 1, 2, 3 Mr Snuggles Omake Oh Bandit Tree Old Iron Omakes 4, 5

Valkyrie Start

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - Peek - Valkyrie 2:

-ping-

For Jail to worry about your sanity you have to be pretty much gone.

[Shigan]

Originally Posted by Altarian

*deep breath*

Well, here I go. Hello, AS Nanoha FFT thread. I can't exactly say I've been a long-time lurker, but I have read through about a year's worth of the most recent posts (many hundreds of pages)! I've thoroughly enjoyed seeing new fiction as well as writers' thought processes, and I especially liked getting the chance to watch the HayatexVivio Files be born and grow.

Deathcurse, your ability to play upon heartstrings is ridiculous. I really wish I could write like you. *sigh*

Shigan, I am so in love with everything you write. I was blown away by 'Flying' and it was 'The Things We Tame' that really solidified in my head how HxV might look.

Moczo, I don't think I've ever laughed as hard at a fic as I did at 'Intercom'. You are a master of written comedic timing, especially in the world of crackfic!

It's been many years since I set my hand to write fanfiction, but in the long process of reading through this thread an idea or two appeared. The first result is below. I'm not at all confident that years of writing technical reports and learning to think like an engineer haven't eroded my creative writing skills entirely, but we'll see.

For your perusal:

Spoiler for On Borrowed Time:

On Borrowed Time

Of the three of them, she'd always thought Nanoha would be the first. It was Nanoha who took the great risks, fought the impossible battles, pushed her body beyond its limits time and time again. Nanoha whose medical staff were constantly worried about the state of her Linker Core, always ordering her to get more rest.

Fate found some morbid amusement in the fact that she'd been wrong.

Initially, no one had an explanation for Fate's increasing fatigue, pain and slow loss of magical ability. Shamal had worked herself to exhaustion trying to find some solution, conducting endless tests and experimenting with countless treatments. Finally, even the medical mage admitted there was little that could be done – Fate's body was simply degrading, a result of flaws in the cloning process that had made her. Precia had failed to make a perfect copy, in more ways than one.

So it was that she now found herself staring at a familiar off-white ceiling, trying to think about her options. Fate had few illusions about her future – it was almost certain she would never leave this hospital again, and the degradation could only be delayed for so long. Her thoughts instead focused on how to handle her family and friends' reactions. She'd asked Shamal not to make the news of her illness public, preferring not to burden anyone unnecessarily or attract attention from the media.

Her closest friends had known already, of course. Yuuno and his wife had wanted to cut their expedition short and return immediately upon receiving news of her collapse, but Fate would have none of it. “If you cancel the dig halfway through, you'll never get the funding to go back. Please don't make me responsible for that”, she'd told him. He had argued a little more but finally gave in when she threatened to ask Chrono to shut down travel between Mid-Childa and the dig site.

Her brother had been easier to handle, as the Fleet Admiral did not have an excess of free time these days. He and Amy had come with their children for one visit, but otherwise their contact was limited to long-distance communication. It was enough – her brother had always understood her best when few words were spoken.

Each of the Wolkenritter visited at least once a week, sometimes together with Hayate but usually individually. Vita cheerfully related all the latest news from the training field, often complaining colorfully about the uselessness of her newest crop of cadets. Zafira sat with her and told stories of his latest adventure in babysitting – the old dog had a wicked sense of humor. Shamal fussed over her in typical doctor's fashion, but always knew when Fate wanted to rest and would subtly shoo everyone from the room. Signum hardly spoke at all. Fate knew what the Belkan knight would've said anyway, so the silence hardly mattered.

Vivio took a week's leave and spent the entire time with Fate. Fate could tell that Vivio was trying to be strong for her mama, but trembling hands and tear-bright eyes told the ex-Enforcer everything she needed to know. On the night before Vivio's leave ended, that strength finally broke. “Fate-mama, why is this happening? It's not fair!” she'd sobbed, and Fate didn't know what to tell her. All she could do was hold her daughter and whisper that she loved her, would never stop loving her.

That day was the hardest of all, and so Fate reached her decision. This couldn't go on any longer.

She waited two more days, filling her time with long-distance messages, before asking for her doctor and explaining to him what she wanted. He was, of course, hesitant, but Fate refused to take no for an answer (she hadn't spent her life around the Takamachis without learning a thing or two), and eventually he agreed to her request.

She made one more call that morning, then listened for the knock on the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Fate?” Hayate entered the room cautiously, then more confidently once she saw that her two oldest friends were smiling and chatting.

“Oh, Hayate. Come over here and sit down, there's something I want to talk to the pair of you about.” Fate smiled gently and waved her over with one hand.

There was a long pause after Hayate sat next to Nanoha. Fate simply tilted her head slightly and watched them both.

“Fate, what's going on? You're making us a little nervous...” Nanoha's directness hadn't changed even a little over the years. Fate reached out and placed one hand over Nanoha's palm, the other over Hayate's.

“...It's time, don't you think?” she said, that faint smile still on her pale face.

“Fate, no! You can't --” Hayate immediately protested, but the weight of Fate's gaze silenced her protest.

“Hayate... I haven't been able to run or fly for months. I'm dependent on this machinery. I can't even get out of bed anymore. And...” Fate sighed, her shoulders slumping. “I can't bear to see everyone worried over me. We can't continue this way.”

Hayate nodded slowly after a moment, jaw clenched. She swallowed hard, not trusting herself to speak.

“I just... wanted to thank you both,” murmured Fate, “for everything.” Fate's gaze wandered to the window and the sky beyond. “We've done pretty well for ourselves, haven't we?”

“Of course we have. We're the Three Aces!” Nanoha said, smiling brightly. Fate pretended not to notice the hitch in Nanoha's voice, or the drops falling on her hand where it covered Nanoha's.

“I have everything I could have asked for. Hayate, it's thanks to you that I've had the chance to fight for the peace and safety of others, and spent my life alongside so many dear friends. For that, I guess I can forgive you all the pranks.” Fate gave her a crooked grin. “Maybe not the groping, though.”

Hayate finally laughed at that, and squeezed Fate's hand. “It was just the once – well, that's a lie, I guess it was more like... four or five times. You really aren't ever gonna let me live that down, are you?”

“Never.”

Fate regarded Hayate warmly for a moment, then turned her eyes to Nanoha. She tugged Nanoha toward her and leaned forward until their foreheads were touching, speaking quietly now. “Nanoha. You gave me fifty years of happiness I didn't think I deserved. And you somehow managed to convince me I was worthy of those things along the way.” She smiled, the same smile as a girl on a bridge so long ago. “Thank you for my family, Nanoha. Thank you for my life.”

Fate eased back and looked down at their hands, one in each of hers. “Your hands are still so warm.”

Hayate and Nanoha surged forward simultaneously, wrapping their arms around Fate and holding on tightly. The hours that followed were full of memories as they talked of old joys and sorrows alike, just being together for a time. Much had changed in fifty years, but their friendship never would.

Eventually, there were no more words that needed to be said. She asked them both to leave her be - one last, selfish request. Soon enough the only sound was the humming of the life-support devices.

Only then did Fate reach out and run a thumb across a golden triangle on the nightstand.

“Bardiche.”

[Sir?]

“Thank you.”

[My pleasure, sir.]

...

“...Shut them down.”

[...Yes, sir.]

The room was silent.

Fate closed her eyes.

I love how there just wasn't enough of in this story to make Deathcurse really get into her groove, no, the woman needs her tragedy in spaceship-loads and god help us all the day the Happiness Fan breaks. *takes a few swings*

i think some of the other writers already said what I had in mind, it is a very nice story, and Fate passed with the sort of dignified resolution I can only see her and Signum doing. You have delivered two well written scenes here. What you might want to do however is to establish their age much earlier on, I had it in my head all this time that they were all in their 30's. 50 years is a long time by any human standard and it would perhaps have been nice if there was a few details and reflections about how the years had marred Fate and those around her. Vivio should here be in her thirties: does she have her own family? how did her career go? How does Nanoha look at this point of her life, and how did their life together change her? It ouwld be nice to have their ages portrayed in writing rather than just a number.

And yeah, Lindy xD!

Aside from that, good job on the unlurking! =D And thank you for the praise. Trust me, the HxV crew is still kind of grappling with the fact that our crack pairing is so appreciated xD.

[Nanya01]

Peek's Mini-Arcs:

Yagami Mid Four Dwell Takamachi Scrya Fatherhood Harlaown Dreams Dance Healing Twins Advice History Onwards Cycle Playdate Forging Meetings Search

BTF Omakes:

Old Iron Omakes 1, 2, 3 Mr Snuggles Omake Oh Bandit Tree Old Iron Omakes 4, 5

Valkyrie Start

Valkyrie 2

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - Valkyrie 3:

Hours later...

As she walked towards the training room, Tre blinked at the sounds of activity. Most of her sisters had gone to bed by now, only Cinque, herself, and Uno were still awake. Maybe Quattro was as well, but Tre never bothered to go check in that lab. Nothing about that really interested her.

Walking through the upper doors, she looked down and raised an eyebrow as she saw Nove training against some sort of holographic enemy. Training may have been too strong of a word as she saw Nove shoot at the holographic enemy with her gun knuckle. Raising an eyebrow, she watched as the shots, even though they were accurate, failed to slow down the figure, who seemed to be cloaked in shadow. Frowning, she walked over to the door to the control room and blinked as she saw the program. "...That stupid bitch." She growled and hit the shut down controls.

In the training area, Nove let loose a yell as her foot connected with her opponent, only to yelp as the holographic enemy disappeared and her foot sailed right through it. "What the he..?" The next thing Nove knew was that she was laying on her head and neck, her cheek was hurting from something hitting it at super speeds and her back and butt were hurting from slamming into the far wall. Groaning, Nove opened her eyes and saw the wheels on her roller blades dangling just above her head and someone walking up to her. Before she could recover, she felt her body suit grabbed at just above her waist and she was pulled up to see a very angry Tre glaring at her. "...Tre-nee?" The short redhead winced as Tre turned her over so that she was upright, before decking her in the face again, sending Nove crashing into another wall. "GAH!"

"What the FUCK were you thinking?!" Tre asked as she walked up to Nove, her body trembling with anger.

Nove groaned, now both of her cheeks were sore as hell. "...Tre?"

"That was the single HARDEST program that we have! There aren't any safety measures installed yet!" The tall purple-haired cyborg was panting hard and trembling. "That program was meant to be taken on as a TEAM! You, me, Sette, Otto, Deed, Cinque, Dieci, Wendi and Sein!" She walked up to Nove and grabbed the girl by the top of her outfit and lifted her up. "Just what were you thinking?!" She yelled and shook Nove before slamming her against the wall. "Do you have ANY idea how bad it would be if you had gotten hurt?"

Nove groaned from the abuse Tre was heaving upon her body. "Tre-nee... I just..."

"What?! Wanted to be an idiot?!" Tre dropped the shorter girl and took deep breaths to calm herself down. "...Do you know why I'm upset, Nove?" The redhead shook her head slowly and tried to fight off the sensation of tears as they tried to escape her eyes. "Because if you were hurt, that would make Cinque and Wendi feel bad... And even if you are an idiot, you're still my sister."

"Tre...nee?" Nove blinked as Tre suddenly knelt down and hugged her tightly.

"If you ever do something like that again, Nove, I'm going to make you clean up the doctor's laboratory for a month." Nove blanched at the thought. Even if he was fairly clean, the doctor did tend to make a giant mess in the labs at times. "Now do you understand?"

"Um... Kind of..." Nove reached up to rub her ears. "But my ears were ringing from those punches, so..."

Tre sighed softly and rapped Nove on the head lightly. "Because we just installed that program. We haven't had the chance to make sure that there aren't any bugs in it yet. Not to mention that we haven't put safety measures in yet. So, why did you do it?"

"I wanted to practice some new stuff and I saw a program that I didn't see before, so I wanted to try it out." Nove said in a small voice and yelped as Tre pulled her up and rapped her on the scalp hard. "Oww!"

"Idiot. You're just lucky that the doctor made the program dynamic in scale." Nove blinked and Tre rolled her eyes. "It means that since it was just you, it wasn't set to a high setting."

"...Oh." Nove slumped and sighed, before yelping as Tre rapped her on the head again. "HEY! That hurts!"

Tre smirked at her. "It would be the same if anyone took it on right now. It's at its lowest setting one-on-one. As a team it would be at its highest setting and we'd likely be badly hurt or dead if the safety measures aren't in place."

Nove gulped and nodded at that. "I... See.."

"Besides," Tre grinned at Nove, "if you wanted to get more practice in, I can train your hand-to-hand personally."

Blinking, Nove smiled lightly and slid into a defensive stance. "I'd like that, Tre-nee."

Tre grinned harshly. "I'm not going to go easy on you."

"Quick question," Nove raised her hand and Tre nodded to her, "why didn't you physically punish me for doing that?"

"You hang around Cinque, Wendi and Sein a lot, if you were anything like Sein, you'd probably enjoy a good spanking." Tre blinked and her face went completely red, as did Nove's at the thought of that happening. "...Let's not talk about that."

Nove nodded at that. "Well, here I come then!"

"Bring it!" Tre smirked at her younger and much shorter sister.

(---)

'Master Levi...'

"Yes, Quattro?" Levi spoke to herself as she typed some information into her computer. "What is it?"

'I think that our sisters are starting to get suspicious of us. Due's been looking at us rather... Weirdly lately.'

Levi closed her eyes and smirked softly. "That's the emotions from them that you're feeling, and yes, Due is angry at us for some reason."

'What's the plan?' Quattro asked Levi.

Levi tapped her head. "Think about it, Quattro. United, your sisters are quite strong, but if we divide them up a little bit, it will divert attention from us."

'Oh, you mean like a politician who blames one group for another group's problem just to keep attention away from the real problem that he or she supports?'

"Exactly." Levi smirked and her eyes glinted behind the glasses she was wearing in her Quattro form.

She just needed to find the way to make the right pitch to convince Jail to go along with her plan.

[mega1987]

Originally Posted by Nanya01

Peek's Mini-Arcs:

Yagami Mid Four Dwell Takamachi Scrya Fatherhood Harlaown Dreams Dance Healing Twins Advice History Onwards Cycle Playdate Forging Meetings Search

BTF Omakes:

Old Iron Omakes 1, 2, 3 Mr Snuggles Omake Oh Bandit Tree Old Iron Omakes 4, 5

Valkyrie Start

Valkyrie 2

Spoiler for Blood That Flows - Valkyrie 3:

Hours later...

As she walked towards the training room, Tre blinked at the sounds of activity. Most of her sisters had gone to bed by now, only Cinque, herself, and Uno were still awake. Maybe Quattro was as well, but Tre never bothered to go check in that lab. Nothing about that really interested her.

Walking through the upper doors, she looked down and raised an eyebrow as she saw Nove training against some sort of holographic enemy. Training may have been too strong of a word as she saw Nove shoot at the holographic enemy with her gun knuckle. Raising an eyebrow, she watched as the shots, even though they were accurate, failed to slow down the figure, who seemed to be cloaked in shadow. Frowning, she walked over to the door to the control room and blinked as she saw the program. "...That stupid bitch." She growled and hit the shut down controls.

In the training area, Nove let loose a yell as her foot connected with her opponent, only to yelp as the holographic enemy disappeared and her foot sailed right through it. "What the he..?" The next thing Nove knew was that she was laying on her head and neck, her cheek was hurting from something hitting it at super speeds and her back and butt were hurting from slamming into the far wall. Groaning, Nove opened her eyes and saw the wheels on her roller blades dangling just above her head and someone walking up to her. Before she could recover, she felt her body suit grabbed at just above her waist and she was pulled up to see a very angry Tre glaring at her. "...Tre-nee?" The short redhead winced as Tre turned her over so that she was upright, before decking her in the face again, sending Nove crashing into another wall. "GAH!"

"What the FUCK were you thinking?!" Tre asked as she walked up to Nove, her body trembling with anger.

Nove groaned, now both of her cheeks were sore as hell. "...Tre?"

"That was the single HARDEST program that we have! There aren't any safety measures installed yet!" The tall purple-haired cyborg was panting hard and trembling. "That program was meant to be taken on as a TEAM! You, me, Sette, Otto, Deed, Cinque, Dieci, Wendi and Sein!" She walked up to Nove and grabbed the girl by the top of her outfit and lifted her up. "Just what were you thinking?!" She yelled and shook Nove before slamming her against the wall. "Do you have ANY idea how bad it would be if you had gotten hurt?"

Nove groaned from the abuse Tre was heaving upon her body. "Tre-nee... I just..."

"What?! Wanted to be an idiot?!" Tre dropped the shorter girl and took deep breaths to calm herself down. "...Do you know why I'm upset, Nove?" The redhead shook her head slowly and tried to fight off the sensation of tears as they tried to escape her eyes. "Because if you were hurt, that would make Cinque and Wendi feel bad... And even if you are an idiot, you're still my sister."

"Tre...nee?" Nove blinked as Tre suddenly knelt down and hugged her tightly.

"If you ever do something like that again, Nove, I'm going to make you clean up the doctor's laboratory for a month." Nove blanched at the thought. Even if he was fairly clean, the doctor did tend to make a giant mess in the labs at times. "Now do you understand?"

"Um... Kind of..." Nove reached up to rub her ears. "But my ears were ringing from those punches, so..."

Tre sighed softly and rapped Nove on the head lightly. "Because we just installed that program. We haven't had the chance to make sure that there aren't any bugs in it yet. Not to mention that we haven't put safety measures in yet. So, why did you do it?"

"I wanted to practice some new stuff and I saw a program that I didn't see before, so I wanted to try it out." Nove said in a small voice and yelped as Tre pulled her up and rapped her on the scalp hard. "Oww!"

"Idiot. You're just lucky that the doctor made the program dynamic in scale." Nove blinked and Tre rolled her eyes. "It means that since it was just you, it wasn't set to a high setting."

"...Oh." Nove slumped and sighed, before yelping as Tre rapped her on the head again. "HEY! That hurts!"

Tre smirked at her. "It would be the same if anyone took it on right now. It's at its lowest setting one-on-one. As a team it would be at its highest setting and we'd likely be badly hurt or dead if the safety measures aren't in place."

Nove gulped and nodded at that. "I... See.."

"Besides," Tre grinned at Nove, "if you wanted to get more practice in, I can train your hand-to-hand personally."

Blinking, Nove smiled lightly and slid into a defensive stance. "I'd like that, Tre-nee."

Tre grinned harshly. "I'm not going to go easy on you."

"Quick question," Nove raised her hand and Tre nodded to her, "why didn't you physically punish me for doing that?"

"You hang around Cinque, Wendi and Sein a lot, if you were anything like Sein, you'd probably enjoy a good spanking." Tre blinked and her face went completely red, as did Nove's at the thought of that happening. "...Let's not talk about that."

Nove nodded at that. "Well, here I come then!"

"Bring it!" Tre smirked at her younger and much shorter sister.

(---)

'Master Levi...'

"Yes, Quattro?" Levi spoke to herself as she typed some information into her computer. "What is it?"

'I think that our sisters are starting to get suspicious of us. Due's been looking at us rather... Weirdly lately.'

Levi closed her eyes and smirked softly. "That's the emotions from them that you're feeling, and yes, Due is angry at us for some reason."

'What's the plan?' Quattro asked Levi.

Levi tapped her head. "Think about it, Quattro. United, your sisters are quite strong, but if we divide them up a little bit, it will divert attention from us."

'Oh, you mean like a politician who blames one group for another group's problem just to keep attention away from the real problem that he or she supports?'

"Exactly." Levi smirked and her eyes glinted behind the glasses she was wearing in her Quattro form.

She just needed to find the way to make the right pitch to convince Jail to go along with her plan.

Me: This looks like trouble.

Odin: Levi's plan is about to get skewered anyway one the Aces and the Cyborgs realized that she's the puppeteer in the grand scheme.

Val: IF they ever find out, that is. Hopefully Due can spark some light in the upcoming conspiracy Levi cooking up.

Iris: Do you need of an Exorcists?

Odin: I don't think they'll need it.

[Rising Dragon]

Anyone here have any advice or experience writing a battle scene that involved combat tentacles?

[mega1987]

Originally Posted by Rising Dragon

Anyone here have any advice or experience writing a battle scene that involved combat tentacles?

compromising state of the victims, r@p3 or nearly about to at the victim in it's clutches, males are either drooling, got nosebleed or BSOD due to the naughty tentacles activity, someone got warp up in them while the rest tries to rescue the victim, the heroes are forced on the defensive due to multiple attacking limbs going at them, Blasting it with a flamethrower/RPG or whatever you think suited in the scene...

[Rising Dragon]

Originally Posted by mega1987

compromising state of the victims, r@p3 or nearly about to at the victim in it's clutches, males are either drooling, got nosebleed or BSOD due to the naughty tentacles activity, someone got warp up in them while the rest tries to rescue the victim, the heroes are forced on the defensive due to multiple attacking limbs going at them, Blasting it with a flamethrower/RPG or whatever you think suited in the scene...

COMBAT tentacles, not Naughty Tentacles.

[shiroi mahotsukai]

Best advice I can think of is try not to turn one into the other.

[mega1987]

Originally Posted by Rising Dragon

COMBAT tentacles, not Naughty Tentacles.

Sorry mate. My mind kept coming back to Shadow!Kanji of Persona 4: the animation.... It's oozing with sexuality and comedy in episode 7. But I can't look at F/SN Gilgamesh, Yzak and Domon the same ever again... *shivers*

But you never know that the freaking tentacle monsters is also a sex fiend who use the said part for combat, sexually or not at his foes.

[Rising Dragon]

It won't be against a female opponent so relax about that.

[Altarian]

Originally Posted by Rising Dragon

Anyone here have any advice or experience writing a battle scene that involved combat tentacles?

I'd always thought fighting Combat Tentacles would be similar to trying to fight a hive mind of constrictor snakes. A great way to incapacitate someone with a tentacle is to use it for a sleeper hold (around the neck), takes seconds to knock out and a bit longer to kill - otherwise, you could bind their limbs with lots of smaller tentacles or just crush their ribs with a big one.

I'd imagine the best way to fight something that used them would depend on if you have area-of-effect attacks or not... and whether said monster is capable of bleeding to death, 'cause if so you should only need to cut several tentacles off and wait for it to die

That, or pinning tentacles to the ground by impaling them or something. Helps if it automatically regrows them.

[Craxuan]

Sounds like you want a serious answer, so I'll give one? ^_^

Since we're talking about combat tentacles here, imagine boxing. The basics include straight punch, curve punch, upper hook, lower hook etc. The human arm's greatest strength lies in its flexibility as compared to other melee weapons.

So is the tentacles. Supposed that they hit much harder than an average human, and unlike humans they have no bones these tentacles also possess incredible flexibility that allow numerous attacks from pretty much any angle. Then its main strategy for attack is simple: Overwhelm your opponents with attacks from every direction. Punch/pierce/crush to force the enemy retreat, block paths and herd enemies with side attacks, and if the enemy made the mistake of standing their ground ONLY will you use wrapping. That is because hold attacks take longer to execute, harder to land, and gives the enemy a longer window to destroy them (Since a wrapping arm carries a lower force-upon-impact).

[Old_Iron]

Actually, wrapping attacks could actually be more effective against a retreating target than one standing their ground. Standing one's ground would mean they are likely paying more attention to the movements of the tentacles since they are not trying to map out a best route of escape or taking note of more mobility obstacles. Think of a fleeing/retreating target as one with a long, narrow cone of detection that would probably be facing away from the tentacles more often than not while the one standing their ground as having a shorter, but much wider cone of detection that does not need to move much to keep track of the tentacles. That's just my take on it.

Also, perhaps the use of different types of tentacles attacks together would be beneficial. Use the high damage ones to keep the target(s) busy until an opening to use the grappling tentacles is created and then bind them up or go for the kill.

[Tiresias]

How much control on the tentacles will there be? Do they follow only basic commands (swing, punch, grab, grope) or can they be controlled as if they are one's own limbs? Because how the tentacles can be used depends on their fine-control and how the user can multitask on all tentacle?